My mother says...
the difference between magic and a miracle
is that magic requires deception.
And a miracle needs belief.
But only one out of a million,
can be both magic
and a miracle.
Which is both deception
and belief.
Sometimes a curse
and sometimes a blessing.
Do you want to play a round?
I don't need to play to lose money.
What is with the get-up?
Are you a gangster or something?
Can you hear me? Hey!
Is this your father's latrine?
No.
It's mine.
Hey Vasya! Vasya wake up.
There is a huge combat happening at your house.
-What? -There's a fight at your place.
-Why are you hitting her? -Fucker you don't interfere!
-Why are you hitting her? -She is a thief!
Your mother stole something you fucker!
She stole 2,000 Rupees.
You piece of shit.
It's a good thing I didn't call the police,
or she could have been hanged.
Hang this bitch! She deserves it.
But sir... Oh, God!
Sir...
I just borrowed it...
I swear I would have returned it.
It is Vasu's birthday today.
He is turning 25 today, so I wanted to gift him a cake and a shirt.
But I would have paid you back when I got my salary.
I would have put it back next to the fish tank--
You already know,
that I have cameras everywhere in my home.
Then why did you steal the money?
-Why did you steal it? -Billimoria uncle.
That's enough.
Hey!
-What is it? -I told you, don't use this one.
-I have diarrhoea. -Get lost!
I might have done it right here.
Crazy man...
-Hey Vasya! Listen. -Later.
Here.
He barks a lot.
She can recognise thieves.
Not the dog, you.
Do you want to talk back to me?
Get lost.
My mother will come back to work tomorrow.
Don't fire her.
Come on, get lost. Move it!
Jobless people!
Don't even have enough money to take a dump
and they want to watch the show.
Let's go.
Move it.
You have a lot of money these days.
Did you steal it?
Wow!
The pot is calling the kettle black.
Hey, shut up.
Oh, God!
But why did you do this?
For you.
But fate is not on our side.
When good times don't last forever.
How long will our bad time last?
One day, I will buy that Billimoria's house.
Right.
But you will still find me scrubbing dishes there.
He will wash them!
You will sit there like a queen.
My dear boy.
So, mother and son gang?
Have you decided?
Where is the next robbery?
Don't harass her.
He probably stole this.
Damn it! They still haven't released our soldier!
We will hit them at their home turf.
We will rescue our soldier!
They released him.
He is back already.
The paper will be published tomorrow.
That news is old.
You get news immediately on your phone.
This is breaking news.
As-Salaam-Alaikum.
Wa-Alaikum-Salaam.
No more free food.
Wait, I will give you a bad review on the delivery app.
It was just a joke, man! Here.
Eat this yellow capsicum.
Now shut up, I have a lot of work.
You look tense Mehboob.
How is business?
Business is down Vasant.
There is no future here.
I was thinking about starting my own online delivery service.
With Shazia's help.
They have opened a new English bakery next door.
Those bastards add paneer to their cake
and sell it as cheesecake.
And people always go there, nobody fucking comes here.
Hey Peter, stop abusing!
It's fine. Everyone has their own principles and their own business.
And this guy thinks God will help him!
That's enough.
How is Julie?
She is great!
She wants to keep going all night.
Little Peter falls asleep but she doesn't!
It's very difficult to make her go to bed.
-She is playing you. -Hey man!
She is a Russian, understand?
She is from Ghatkopar!
If you colour your hair even you can look like Malinga.
Was that a joke?
Tell me, what is your parcel?
Tonight is my birthday.
Give me whatever you want. It's my date night.
Brother.
If your date doesn't make you late,
then it doesn't count. Understand?
Just get the parcel ready!
Sure. Here, eat this while you wait. For free.
Get his parcel ready.
Aunt.
This is today's collection.
And these are their names and numbers.
Give it to him.
Keep this.
I took 2,000 from this.
So please adjust it next week.
Fine.
Madhu.
-Ten minutes. -Okay.
Make a note that he borrowed 2,000 in advance.
How was your day?
Fantastic!
My dad got drunk and beat up my mom.
Mom stole for the first time today.
And she got caught.
Then I took care of that and some other issues.
Then settled in to enjoy the smell of shit at work.
That is how I will spend tomorrow.
And the day after.
Don't you ever want to do it?
You must be tired.
Are you not a man?
Are you not a human?
Look, I brought you sweet corn soup.
But I like Manchow!
That's what I brought last time! But you said you like this!
Really?
Actually, I have no idea what I want in my life.
But I do.
I want money.
Not just in my wallet, but in my destiny.
So that mom never needs to steal again.
Look, all of this, chicken, noodle and soup, we can always get that.
All you need Is a good man to deliver it.
Do Chinese people like sweet soup?
No, they don't even eat Chinese.
They eat bugs and insects.
We are the ones who keeps eating schezwan
and suffering from acidity.
Romeo and Juliet. Are you done?
Time to go.
Mr Shetty will be here soon.
Wait! Wait!
Buy yourself a birthday gift from me.
-No Madhu-- -Shut up.
I made and sold three blouses and two dresses for this.
I even received an advance on my order. So, keep it.
This is your money! You earned it!
You keep it, invest in your business.
It is none of your business, understand?
Now go.
Get out.
Shetty sir, have a seat.
Madhu is getting ready.
But why are you all dressed up like a bride, Reshma?
Hurry up and send her to my car.
I made such a beautiful room for you.
But you still prefer your car?
Lions don't use rooms...
they prefer open spaces.
Reshma, we have to give this to the party from Dadar.
He will come here tomorrow to take it.
Understand?
Vasya! Come here.
Keep this at the latrine. We need it tomorrow.
Does this fool come here to meet Madhu?
No... he cleans the place and stuff.
You know, the commodes and everything...
You got lucky today.
It won't work forever.
Vasant!
Here, keep this.
Here boy, keep it.
Oh, my love.
Come with me.
You will be a queen in my house.
No sir, I am better off being the queen at a brothel.
Then come here, my queen!
What is going on here?
Nothing, an old woman fell in the toilet.
Now, who is going to pick her up?
She is sleeping in her own shit!
Sister? What are you doing here?
Who is going to get her out of there?
The guy who cleans the toilets will come back in the morning.
Forget it, she was going to die soon anyway.
So, you want to let her die right here?
This happens every day.
Oh, aunty!
Aunty?
Get up.
Disgusting...
Get up.
Hey, bring some water for us.
What the hell, man?
Such a pointless headache.
You could have left her there till tomorrow morning, couldn't you?
Yes, that is probably what God thinks as well.
Let them die in those sewers. Give me that.
Come on, man.
Gross...
Happy birthday, Vasya.
Enjoying your night!
Yes, full enjoy.
Careful.
Keep this.
Keep it.
Oh no, my child.
You have done a lot for me today.
It's fine! Just keep it.
-Fine. -Good.
In return for this, all I can do
is give you this.
-What do I do with this? -Just keep it.
Okay, fine.
Go, my child.
You are now free from slavery.
You will receive everything before everyone else.
Go right. Right!
Go right.
-Isn't that him? -Yeah, that's him.
Let's go.
Get him!
Hey! Stop!
-Stop. -Get him.
You bastards! What do you want?
Here.
It's branded.
Thank you.
Is that boy your lover?
He is a good kid.
Should I kill him?
Tell me?
Fine.
I will forgive him, just for you.
I want to do it again.
What the hell?
Did someone catch you stealing too?
The two of you...
You damn mother and son...
Will destroy the reputation
of the Gawde household.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VASYA
HURRICANE IN THE ARABIAN SEA, EMERGENCY DECLARED
Oh no!
What happened to your face?
What happened...
What is this? Oh, God!
What happened to you?
I fell down yesterday.
Who beat you up?
Who was it?
I got into an argument with some guys...
Does an argument lead to this?
Come, let's go to the doctor right now.
-Come. -That's where I am going!
You're going to the doctor?
Wear this.
I made it from my new saree.
Happy birthday my son.
Look how bad the wound is...
TORRENTIAL RAINFALL IN MUMBAI
Hey!
Did it rain here?
Yes, and it was snowing too!
It's the month of May, Vasya!
"Don't snooze, wake up"
"The morning is here"
"Don't snooze, wake up"
"The morning is here"
"At the crack of dawn fate is ready to face the world"
"Open your eyes and wake up don't get in your own way"
"Get up and hustle conquer your lethargy"
"Don't snooze, wake up"
"The morning is here"
"Stop living on pocket change"
"Life will be too difficult"
"Come try some butter"
This is from the tenant in Dongri.
"Don't snooze, wake up"
"The morning is here"
Hey, bloody birthday boy!
Whose blouse are you wearing?
-Shut up. -What? Oh hey.
Your gift.
What is this?
I brought underwear that glows in the dark for you.
Madhu will enjoy it.
-Here. -Gross.
Hey! What the hell...
-Who did this to you? -Forget it.
Tell me, who did it?
Would you come to save me?
No man, I am a true friend.
I would get beat up along with you.
Hey! Let's change the mood now.
-Let's go. -Where? I have work!
Forget work. Come on. It will take 10 minutes.
They made a new bridge on Sodawala road.
The CM is coming there to cut the ribbon.
-Shetty will be there too. -Then go with him!
Oh, come on! We can even get a birthday party for free.
You know, they are going to give out
vada pav and cold drinks for free, right?
Who will take care of the latrine?
The people who use it! Now let's go check out the bridge.
SODAWALA BRIDGE FALLS, 7 WOUNDED, 1 DEAD
Hey Peter!
Namaskar!
I would like to give a warm welcome
to all of my brothers and sisters gathered here.
I am grateful to all of you for gathering here
in this sweltering heat.
Will you tell me what happened?
I was attacked last night.
Some people beat me up in the back lanes.
And they stole Aunt's money.
Son of a bitch!
Look,
there is no need to worry. Don't worry.
Shetty doesn't take people's lives.
Deepak used to handle the money before you.
He stole the money so he cut his arms off.
He might
cut off your legs.
You will go from Vasya to handicap.
But you don't need to worry.
You can still work at the latrine.
Because you don't need legs to sit.
He is cracking jokes out here.
Didn't this bridge fall?
Did you hit your head, dumbass?
They just made this bridge.
Why are you jinxing it and saying it will fall?
It will open at 2:30 pm.
But just like our party
this bridge is a beacon of hope.
Aunt is calling.
Come on, pick up.
Hello?
Yes, Aunt? Hello?
-Yes, Aunt? -Where are you?
The party is here for the money.
No Aunt, I have stepped out for a bit.
Yes?
No, I am here at the opening for the bridge.
-I will give it tomorrow. -Hello? I can't hear you.
Yes, I will give it to you tomorrow.
I can't hear you, Aunt.
Hello? Hello?
Hello?
Aunt?
Go, my child.
You are now free from slavery.
You will receive everything before everyone else.