'Are you listening to me?' ‐ Yes.
You said..
'Chaddha.' ‐ One minute. I..
I am checking my notes. ‐ 'I said'
'that Arvind and I are planning an incentive program.'
Arvind? Is he back from Bangkok?
We were placing bets that someone from Pattaya will woo him.
'As I was saying'
'we will reward the top sales officer every month'
'in order to increase the sales.'
'Incentives up to Rs. 20,000.' ‐ Wow!
Can I choose the gift?
'Yes, Chaddha.'
Well, is this scheme only for sales officers?
Because the strategies are formulated by managers, right?
'Chaddha, you can't give yourself the prize.'
I was not talking about myself.
I mean, generally..
First, I need to find out
what could be the biggest motivation for the sales staff.
Sex. Definitely sex.
Sex is something that can motivate anyone, sir.
T.P., the company is not sending anyone to Bangkok to get a massage.
That's only for the senior management.
In that case, there is only one solution, sir.
Corporal punishment. ‐ What?
Torture, sir. Torture. ‐ T. P., don't joke.
Sir, these lazy bums will improve
only under the fear of getting whipped.
Pammi, come in.
Sir, there is a lady here asking for you.
'Dietician, beautician.'
Pammi, I am busy. Don't you see?
Okay, I will ask her to leave.
Yes.
So busy.
Sorry.
Well, I am not that busy.
Okay. What can I do
if I am not allowed.. ‐ As I was saying
we need to incentivise the staff.. Hello.
Sir, she is the beauty consultant.
Don't say anything. Let me guess.
Is your father a confectioner? ‐ Confectioner?
Who else can make something so sweet?
Or maybe something so greasy.
They use a lot of butter and oil.
T.P., you wanted a whip, right?
Go and make a requisition for it.
Go. ‐ Okay, sir.
So, what's your name? ‐ My name?
Loveleen. ‐ Loveleen.
That means lost in love.
Or L‐E‐A‐N, 'lean', also means fit, right? ‐ Yes.
I am also a dietician. ‐ Oh..
Sir, she wants to give free check‐up and beauty advice to the employees.
There is an offer from her clinic.
Yes.
Listen, this is against our company policy.
Oh, so sad.
But, luckily, I am against this policy.
Set it up in the conference room. ‐ Thank you.
But, sir, Madhukar sir's meeting is scheduled there at 11 o'clock.
Ask him to shift it to the corridor.
He can set the chairs outside.
And samosas for everyone are on me.
Did you see that? This is called decision‐making.
Wow, sir. You are quite dynamic.
Aren't I?
The idea about the samosa was my own. ‐ Is it?
Free samosas are the solution to 90 percent of the office's problems.
Nice. ‐ They don't teach this in management schools.
Oh! ‐ Yes.
Management books are useless.
That is why I'm writing a book.
'Management Without MBA'.
'Lessons From The Jagdeep Chaddha University Of Life'.
No, I have only thought of a title so far.
Come this way.
This is our conference room.
You can set up here.
You can call me if you need anything.
Okay, sir. Thank you so much.
Really. Anytime.
I mean, my office is behind this wall.
I will come whenever you call. ‐ Okay.
Shall we give it a try?
I will go there and you call out my name.
'Jagdeep' and I'll come. ‐ No, sir. It's okay.
Okay. Would you like to have some tea or coffee?
Tell me. ‐ No, sir. Nothing.
Anything cold? Juice?
Okay, sir. Orange juice.
Orange juice. Nice.
Dietician. I knew it. I'll get it right away.
Pammi ji.
You must be jealous. ‐ Why?
You have competition.
I will staple your fingers. Get lost.
'Competition'. I really don't care.
It is a very nice thing for me
that Chaddha sir is busy with someone else.
There are lines below your eyes.
You know, crow's feet. It's called wrinkles.
Loveleen ji has everything
that an ideal woman should have.
Fair complexion, black hair
a round arse.
That day is not far
when our union will mark the beginning of a new era.
Here you go, ma'am.
Orange juice for you. ‐ Thank you.
Healthy.
So lovely.
I mean the name of your products. ‐ Okay.
So, how's business?
It's fine till now. ‐ 'Fine' won't work.
Here is what we can do. We can do a sales promotion for you.
I'll do it. Come with me. Come on.
Come on.
Yes, sir.
It's 18 percent tax.. ‐ He is Saleem ji.
Saleem, Your Highness.
Look at your belly. Why don't you go on a diet?
I am on a call. ‐ Do you want to stay on this job?
Conference room in ten minutes.
Did you see the perks of being a branch manager?
And this is Madhukar ji from the HR department.
Loveleen is here to conduct a check‐up.
Hello. ‐ Hello.
Loveleen. Beautiful name. ‐ Thank you.
Lost in love or L‐E‐A‐N, 'lean'?
Yes. She has heard of that one before. Shall I say something?
The world knows that the HR department has just one job to do.
That is to draw rangoli designs on all the festivals.
And he is allergic to the rangoli powder.
Really? ‐ Really. Really.
The management is kind‐hearted
so we didn't fire him.
Otherwise I would have..
There are so many people in this office
who take advantage of such situations.
That is why I am against office romance.
Obviously, this rule does not apply to senior management.
Amit's mother prepared this Indian squash curry.
It is tasty.
Dude. ‐ Yes.
Did you like this dietician?
She is cute but not my type.
She isn't your type? Are you gay?
No.
I like a different kind of girls.
Is it? What kind of girls?
A bit mature.. like Savitha Bhabhi!
Actually, any aunty will do.
Middle‐aged matron type. Like a cougar.
No. You can keep them.
Trust me, Loveleen is smokin' hot.
Had Pammi not been with me, I would have been all over her.
Parmeet, we are going to get married.
That is why I am behaving myself
and not working on her.
It was a joke. Pammi, wait!
She is jealous.
Pammi is a very good friend of mine.
That is why she shares all her problems with me.
Office problems
or Parmeet's problems
or..
She only has those two problems in her life.
T.P.
she is made only for you.
Forget it.
Chaddha sir has already called dibs on her.
So what, T. P.? You are the assistant branch manager.
No, I am just the assistant to the branch manager.
T.P., love is democratic.
Loveleen will choose her man herself.
But what do I tell her?
You have so much knowledge. Share some with her.
Do you know
my grandfather gave the idea of drinking one's own urine
to Morarji Desai?
This.. Tell this to her. She will be impressed.
You think that wheat bread is healthy.
But you will be shocked to know
that every type of bread is a poison to your body. A poison!
No, man. I am nervous.
T.P., go inside and ask her about
the most expensive beauty treatment.
She will be impressed. ‐ Beauty treatment? Me?
Why not?
Even men go to beauty salons these days. ‐ Really?
Get up. Be a man and go inside.
Leave everything. Look there. There is going to be a ruckus.
What happened?
'Listen to me, beautiful girl. I've got a gift for you.'
'Do you see these biceps? You may touch them.'
'Look at my body.'
'No, no! I don't want to see.'
'No. You will have to see.'
'Every part of my body is yearning for you.'
'What do you want?'
'I want my soft skin to glow.'
Very good.
I never thought of dieting.
Why do you need to diet?
I am sure guys can't take their eyes off you.
No. I am engaged.
There is just one guy in my life.
So sweet. Committed.
So cute. ‐ 'Cute'.
Girls, I tell you. Leave them alone for just two minutes, and they start gossiping.
Did you like the juice?
It was very good.
I am sure the juice also enjoyed touching your lips.
Come, let me show you something. Come on.
This is my cabin. Come in.
Look at this. A juice maker.
It is worth Rs. 20,000.
It can make all kinds of fruit juices.
Pineapple, banana, sapodilla. ‐ Very nice.
Nice, right? ‐ Did you buy it for the office?
Yes. But you can keep it because you like drinking fruit juices.
No, I can't keep this. ‐ No, it's okay. Trust me.
No, I already have so many things with me.
How will I take this in a rickshaw?
You will take a rickshaw? Why?
I will drop you in my car.
No, no. ‐ Why not?
If you don't mind.. ‐ It isn't about that.
You need not take the trouble. ‐ There is no trouble. It's okay.
It is my office. I can leave anytime. ‐ All right. Okay.
Okay?
Okay. ‐ Yes.
Okay, good.
We will leave in an hour's time.
Okay. ‐ Okay.
Yes. Business.
This one, sir? ‐ No, not this one.
Yes, a grey hair strand is visible in this. ‐ It is black.
Use Photoshop.
Or else she might not accept my friend request.
Sir, can I ask something if you don't mind? ‐ Yes, go ahead.
Sir, I seek your permission to marry Loveleen.
I am not her father. Go and ask her.
Really? Thank you, sir.
However, let me tell you something.
Loveleen and I are going for a drive in the evening.
What? ‐ She asked for a lift.
So I said, 'Sure. Why not?'
Where are you going? ‐ To a fruit juice centre.
Juice centre? What are you going to do there?
A man, a woman..
And after a juice or two, who knows what can happen?
Anything can happen.
Sir, promise me that you won't have sex with her.
T.P., I can't promise you anything, please.
Do you love her? ‐ No, T. P. No. I mean..
I don't know.
It's complicated. I mean..
Your diet will be completely balanced.
There is no balance in my life, and you want to balance my diet.
Good one. ‐ Juice! Juice! Juice!
Did you prepare this in the new juicer? ‐ Yes.
But that was the incentive prize for the top salesman.
How does it matter to you, Saleem sa'ab?
You lost two huge orders this month.
Top salesman.
Here you go. Have the juice.
Do you want to ask something? ‐ No, sir. You called me here.
Maybe I had to ask something.
So, sir, shall I leave?
I have a lot of work. ‐ Yes. Go.
'Work is worship.'
Well, Pammi. Do girls of your age like going to the fair?
The fair? ‐ There is a fair near the market.
I was thinking if a fair is a cool place to go on a date.
Yes.
A fair?
Don't laugh, Pammi. Imagine this.
Chaddha sir with a cotton candy in his hand.
Loveleen wearing a skirt and pretty ribbons in her hair.
Sitting in the swings and moving back and forth, back and forth..
Pammi, are you still angry?
Forget it, Parmeet. I don't want to talk about it now.
Won't you talk to me now? ‐ What are you doing?
Won't you talk to me now? Won't you?
Parmeet. ‐ Won't you?
Won't you? Won't you talk to me now?
Parmeet.
I'm cheering you up.
Amit and I are very good friends. He is a nice guy.
I hope he finds a nice girl.
You should use this cream.
You will become fair in two months.
That means I can finally be an air hostess.
Air hostess, video model. The sky is the limit.
You should apply nigella oil to your hair.
'Your hair will grow longer.'
What's a nigella?
Loveleen ji, I want to say something.
Not now. ‐ Just two minutes.
No.
I just want to say
I'm ready to give up on my vow of abstinence.
What? I didn't get you.
I have sent a message to my father.
He is on his way here.
He will change two trains and reach here by tomorrow evening.
Just tell me
when we can visit you to talk about our marriage.
No!
So, tell me. How many packets do you want?
All my customers are happy
with this product. ‐ What do you mean by 'no'?
Is it that you don't want to get married
or you don't want to talk about it now?
No for both!
As I was saying
'all my customers are happy with this product.'
'It's a very result oriented cream.'
Sapan. There is a special project.
Will you do it? ‐ No, sir.
Yes, you will do it. Why won't you?
Sir, why do you have a toothbrush in your car?
Sometimes I fight with my mom and end up sleeping in the car.
Keep it somewhere.
Shall I throw this perfume?
No. There should be a little left.
Don't waste it.
It is awesome.
Hi. ‐ Hello.
I am Amit. ‐ Yes.
You sit there, right? ‐ Yes.
Actually, that was my dream since childhood.
So, can you make a diet plan for me
which advises me to have butter chicken thrice a day?
As a dietician, I can't give you this advice, right?
What are you saying?
Doesn't butter chicken help in weight loss?
Sir. ‐ Yes.
This?
Keep it inside. I might need it anytime.
You know what I mean.
So, what is your plan for the evening?
I am going to the market road with Loveleen.
Is it? What are you both going to do?
Nothing, just coffee..
Love, marriage, kids, old age.
Good luck then.
Even I was a playboy in my heyday.
I mean, nothing much has changed.
You can see that.
Nothing has changed.
Give this to me. ‐ No, sir. It's okay.
Independent.
It was so nice to meet you, sir. Thank you so much.
Same. Come on.
Okay, sir. Goodbye.
Bye, Amit.
Where are you planning to go?
We are going for a coffee.
'We'? You and.. ‐ Loveleen and I.
Sir, you told me that you will drop me.
But I thought it'll be pointless trouble for you.
Trouble? I mean..
You know that he has a bike and I have a Civic.
Its EMI is almost paid.
But, sir, our route is the same, so..
I see.
Will you be able to manage your bags?
Sir, Amit is with me.
Amit is with you.
Okay. The two of you enjoy.
Bye, sir.
Be safe, buddy.