Good morning.
Good morrow.
Where is my desk?
It was here a while ago.
Amit, if this is a joke
it's a disgusting one.
T.P., I have told you so many times to take care of your things.
It was not a stapler but a desk.
And I did take care of it.
I want my desk back in eight minutes.
Or else, I will tell Chaddha sir and fire..
My asafoetida candy.
Did you eat it?
Oh.
Circumstantial evidence.
Hello. T. P. Mishra this side.
T.P.
do you have the sales inventory report of toilet papers
for the month of August?
What will you guys do without me?
Yes, it's with me.
'Great. Thank you. Bye.'
'Bye.' ‐ Hello.
Move the desk from here!
Guru ji, I had a doubt
about the machli gota move.
No, machli gota.
Are you wrestling?
Okay. You are in the toilet.
Okay, sir. I'll call you later.
Okay. All hail Guru ji.
I bow down to you.
Stay blessed.
Hey!
Stay in your limits.
Whom did you call? Your in‐laws?
No. It was my wrestling coach.
Guru Natha Nath Singh the Steel.
Wow!
AKA Guru ji.
And he has accepted me as his disciple
after being impressed by me.
What are you laughing at?
Here is the proof. Soil from his arena.
Whatever you see in movies
is wrong information on wrestling.
If you have the guts, fight with the ones
who are as strong as you.
Real tactics are taught in my guru's arena.
Stay blessed.
'And I am his most promising disciple.'
..three, four..
The day is not far when people will look at me and say
'Look at him. He is the Champion of Sector 3.'
Just like Champion of India.
Champion of Sector 3.
Please.
Tell Chaddha not to wait till 8:00.
My in‐laws are coming over for dinner.
Saleem ji, I had already given the file.
But you know sir.
The old rule of Chaddha sir.
Do today's work tomorrow, and tomorrow's work day after.
He just has to put his initials on Saleem ji's monthly sales report
so that he can send it to the HO.
But he is sitting on it since a week now.
I wonder what he is busy with.
The Chinese have made a wonderful thing.
Hello, kitty.
'Hello, Chaddha. What are you doing?'
Sir. Sir.
You had called me.
Yes. Sapan.
So that you can do a secret task of mine.
'Mission important‐able'
Sir, you need to sign Saleem ji's report.
Yes, I know. I'll do it.
We already got three calls from the HO.
It is the last day.. ‐ I know it's the last day, Pammi.
I am not ghajini.
FYI, Ms. Goel.
We are doing an important work. Right, Sapan?
I have to finish the emergency contacts list.
Is that an important work?
Isn't that important?
Imagine, if right now
at this moment, there is an earthquake.
And the entire building is reduced to a rubble.
And some poor person, XYZ, drenched in blood
calls for help.
'Somebody call my wife, Mrs. XYZ.'
But her number is not available
because she thinks it's not important.
So, as a result, XYZ dies.
Instead of calling his wife, calling the fire station..
That's not the point, Pammi!
Saw that? I raise my voice and she starts crying.
And, if I don't shout, she will boss over me.
Yes, sir.
Where were we?
In my cabin.
Updating everyone's numbers.. ‐ Yes, right.
That reminds me, Sapan. What is your phone number?
Just for my general knowledge.
..4955, Mrs. Vasudha Sharma.
Your mother? ‐ Yup.
Whenever you call, be a little loud
because she is hard of hearing.
Oh, you are serious.
I'm sorry.
Hello.
Hello. Amitabh Bachchan speaking from 'Kaun Banega Crorepati'.
Your friend, Kailash ji, is on the hot seat.
Who Kailash?
He is stuck on a question of Rs. 25 lakh..
Two kids?
A boy and a girl.
And wife? ‐ Hopefully, a woman.
I mean, how many? ‐ Okay.
Three.
I'll be happy if I get just one.
You will find one easily.
I need a local emergency contact.
Your brother is in Kochi.
Yes. But he is a doctor.
He will tell you the treatment over the call.
'Good evening, sir.'
You are eligible for a free personal loan from IBD bank
in cash.
It will be disbursed in currency bills of Rs. 250..
Okay?
How long am I supposed to wear this fuller's earth?
Half an hour or one hour?
Amit.
Amit?
The soil from Guru ji's arena.
Amit!
Amit! You are done for!
Where are you, Amit?
Amit! If you do something like this next time
I will knock you down so hard
that you will remember forever.
Get lost, you shaky wrestler.
Even Sarla ji can pin you down.
Sarla ji?
Using the multani move, I can pin Sarla ji down in 10 seconds.
And Kutty?
Ten..
No, 20 seconds.
Kasauta. Do you know what it is?
This is kasauta.
You do it like this.
You can pin down even the strongest.
Can you defeat Chaddha sir?
It is a sin to beat up your boss.
Let alone beating me up, even if you stare at me
I'll turn you upside down.
Chaddha sir, do you know wrestling?
Do I know?
I know it so well that I can't let it go.
I didn't manage to grab the window seat in the bus for 11 years
during rush hour, just like that.
Wow!
During college vacation, I also learnt that..
Chai tea.
T'ai chi?
Yes, even that.
Meena, what can I do if Chaddha is not signing the paper?
Meena, try to..
In the emergency contacts list
remove my wife's name and put my mother's name.
After that day
that goon would tremble at the mention of my name
because I told him
'I'll screw you up, Ramadheer.'
And I did it.
I said it, and I did it.
Said and took.
Brilliant, sir. You should make a movie on it.
I know.
Please check the sales report.
I want to go home early.
Why? Are you feasting on biryani today, Saleem miyaan?
No. Pizza.
My Hindu wife likes Italian.. ‐ Sometimes, invite us over.
'And Jagdeep goes for a round‐the‐neck yorker!'
The first rule in wrestling.
You can be attacked anytime and anywhere.
My neck.
Swearing in the office? You little..
I said it and took it.
Everybody in this office is very close to my heart.
But, sometimes, they take undue advantage of my love.
By coming late, by playing computer games
by stealing 4GB pen drives from the office.
That is when I have to raise my hand on my colleagues.
Don't cry like girls.
No, this isn't an insult to girls.
Just his voice. 'Help me! Help!'
Okay! You are a man, right?
Show me your power. Hit me.
Over here.
Punch me. Come on, hit me.
No, sir. How can I hit my work‐guru?
Don't be scared. I won't do anything.
Get up. I won't do anything.
Get up. Hit me.
Hit me. Get up. ‐ No, sir.
Hit me. ‐ No, sir.
I say hit me. Nothing will happen.
Hit me. Hit me!
Hail Guru Natha Nath!
Motherfucker! It hurts!
Did I hurt my work‐guru? Yes.
Why?
Because a true soldier
obeys every command of his general.
Sir, are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine.
We Mishras are not scared of wars and attacks.
My honourable grandfather, Subedar Trilochan Mishra
during the 1971 war
threw stones at enemy jets and brought them crashing down.
My father also fought with stones.
He had kidney stones.
Please, Pammi. Please.
Are you mad? Not me.
Once you are warmed up
hold it like this, turn him around and..
Hail Guru Natha Nath!
Wow, sir!
This is called a small wonder.
Yes, sir.
Please. Please, Pammi.
I'll bribe you with sweets.
From Natharam? ‐ Done.
Sir.
Pammi, I am not able to find the green ink pen to sign.
I'll sign it later.
No, sir. I wanted to ask something else. ‐ What is it?
Can T. P. drop me till the metro station
if I get late in the office?
It is in a desolate locality
and if a real man like T.P. is with me..
Pammi.
Pammi, come in.
Come in, Pammi.
Look, dear. This is life.
This isn't a C‐grade Hindi movie
wherein a man like T.P. can protect your dignity.
Okay? Not at all.
But just now, with one punch.. ‐ Not one.
Double. That, too, below the belt.
And..
Over there, I was pretending to be hurt
because T. P. was crying so..
But we thought you were really hurt. ‐ What?
Who thought that?
Look, my most favourite move in wrestling is
machli gota.
Turn around. I'll take you from behind.
What?
Be careful, Anjali.
This betrayer can do anything.
I didn't betray anyone. ‐ Is it?
Maybe your assistant branch manager
is not aware of his own strength.
Assistant to the branch manager
whom I can kill in a single blow.
Barking dogs seldom bite.
T.P.! If we weren't in the office.. ‐ Sir.
We can always go to T. P.'s shakha. ‐ What?
No. ‐ Yes.
Let's go there.
I always carry the key to the gymnasium there.
Chaddha, on my sales report.. ‐ Saleem sa'ab, please.
Not now.
Okay.
So, today it will be decided
who is a man and who is
a pan.
Pammi, send an email.
After lunch, we shall have 'Dangal'.. Part 2.
It's going to be so much fun!
Move. Not like that.
Look at me.
Let me show it to you.
Come on.
Like this. Like this.
For forearms.
No. Like this for the shoulder.
Yes, we can do it that way too.
Amongst them, whom would you pick to go on a coffee date?
This one. ‐ Why?
His moustache is cute. ‐ Oh, I see.
Actually, I know what he will say at the coffee shop.
What?
He'll say, 'I need my coffee kick.'
No. I think he prefers a coffee punch.
You are messing with Undertaker Amit.
You want to wrestle.
You are gone, girl.
Now? What now?
Pammi lost.
Leave me. ‐ Pammi lost.
Did Pammi lose? Is Pammi crying?
Amit, leave me!
Every round will be of five minutes.
And, in order to win points..
I have watched the movies 'Dangal' and 'Sultan'.
There is a lot of work pending at the office. Let us go.
Start the match.
Hail Lord Hanuman!
Sir, be strong.
I have bet all my money on you, sir.
Bravo! Sir, stronger.
Kill him! Kill him!
Show me blood! Show me blood!
Very good!
Way to go my million‐dollar babies!
Here you go. This is my machli gota move.
I get a point. ‐ No.
My back didn't touch the ground.
No. It didn't.
Start again. No point.
My back didn't touch the ground.
T.P., you are done for.
Just wait and watch! You are done for. ‐ Come!
No kicking!
Why are you crying?
Wait.
It's your chance.
Do it!
Look there, a pigeon! ‐ Where?
Not my glasses. ‐ You four eyes!
You goggle‐eyed fool!
Sir, bash him!
What happened? ‐ He bit me!
Don't bite! You can't bite! ‐ I didn't bite him.
That's wrong. ‐ You cry baby!
You are lying!
Come here.
Sit on his chest.
Now, tell me. ‐ Don't..
Sir, easy. Careful.
Who is your daddy? Tell me!
Who is your daddy? Tell me, you dog!
You mother..
How dare you insult my mother!
Open your mouth! ‐ No!
How dare you talk about my mother?
Now you will swallow my spit.
Eat my spit. Eat my spit! ‐ No. No!
Yes, in my emergency contact, write my mom's name.
Kusum Chaddha. Come in.
Come in. Come in. Phony wrestler, come in.
Sapan.
I want to change my emergency contact.
Remove Jagdeep Kishore Chaddha's name
and write Health Care Clinic, Faridabad.
You can google their number.
Bye. ‐ See you.
Done, sir.
Emergency contact list. ‐ Yeah.
Good. Happy weekend, Sapan. ‐ Sure, sir.
Well, any plans?
The usual. I have some farmhouse dinners
and then champagne brunch on Sunday.
Champagne brunch? ‐ Yeah.
Invite me if you can take a plus one.
You have my number, right?
All those calls..
bank loan, Amitabh Bachchan, it was me.
Wow!
Wow! Good one, sir.
I am leaving.
Did Chaddha sir sign?
I forged his signature.
Between my wife and boss, I had to choose one.
T.P.
Conference room.
T.P., do you know that I was testing you today?
Yes, of course.
And I am happy that you passed it.
And, as a prize, I'm giving you a promotion.
From being the assistant to the branch manager
you'll now be the assistant branch manager.
Sir..
Sir, do you know
when I was 11 years old.. ‐ I know, T. P. I know.
This position comes with great responsibilities.
That's why I'm giving it to you.
Thank you, sir. Thank you.
Which means this will be my office hereafter.
No. ‐ My..
No. This is just a title change, T. P.
So, Pammi can send a memo to everyone tomorrow.. ‐ No.
Actually, T. P., this is a secret promotion.
Secret?
I got it, sir. I got it.
Just like no one knows that Clark Kent is Superman
so that Clark Kent can turn into Superman when required and take everyone to task.
Exactly, T. P. Exactly. Just like that.
Chaddha sir, you.. you..
I have a lot to learn from you.
You are my guru.
I bow down to you.
Same to you, T. P.
So, I taught T. P. today
that in his defeat lies victory.
Which is not true though.
But, sometimes, we need to say it in order to placate someone.
So, what was proved at the end?
Am I a boss whom people love
or am I someone whom people are scared of?
I would say that I am a boss
whose love scares people.
Come on, my horse. Trot away.