Move. Chew faster. Go.
I don't have all day for interrogation. Move.
T.P.
You look so cute.
You silly civilian.
Common people.
Get inside.
Last evening, T. P. Mishra found
a half‐burnt joint.
A cigarette filled with cannabis.
Aka rollie.
Aka joint.
Which means
people have started using drugs in the office.
I will not let this happen.
I pledge on this uniform.
By the way..
T.P. is a volunteer constable at a local traffic police station.
On Sundays, he checks every driver passing by
Gol Chowk by smelling their mouth.
Who does that?
Do you know what potheads look like?
Blurry eyes
slurry tongue
laziness in every task
and a numb brain.
Yes?
Sorry, I forgot. Could you repeat the question?
Do you know what potheads look like?
Blurry..
'Son.'
'How would I know'
'that he was asking for the number of my lens and not my phone number.'
'I don't care if he's an optician.'
Amit is superb at doing impressions.
Like Sarla ji. And today a new one.
'Excuse me. That's my magazine.'
That was Kutty sir.
Had Amit done it, you would have got it. He is too good.
God gives a lot of pain to those who have a big heart.
I never loved anyone more than I loved Sapan.
And I know this in my heart that he loves me as much as I do.
This morning when I was in the shower
and the water was going 'drip, drip, drip'.
Do you know what I heard? 'Sap, Sap, Sap..'
I mean I'm not one of those who just sit and cry, T. P. sir.
I went to the parlour and got a pedicure and a facial done.
I put on headphones and played
DJ Chetas's world's best breakup mashup.. ‐ Shut up!
Shut up!
Do I look like your aunt that you're telling me all this?
We are talking about stoners here.
What time did you go home yesterday?
When your heart breaks, you can never tell when evenings become nights
and nights become mornings, mornings become afternoons.
You just can't tell. Every day.. ‐ Shut up! Shut up!
Someone give me a pill for my headache. Save me!
He's asking for a pill when I have taken a bullet straight to my heart.
I have been stabbed through my heart.
God has.. Hey.
Where are you going? Hey, camera!
Hey, you temporary employee.
Hey, you temporary employee!
Were you at a party yesterday? ‐ I party every day.
I know what happens at your parties.
Really? Have you been to one? ‐ No.
Then, how do you know? ‐ I will be asking the questions.
Who's wearing the uniform?
You or me? ‐ You.
Good. Come on.
Give me your car keys.
I need to search your car.
What if I don't give it?
Then, I'll have to do it the hard way.
Which is?
I will call the police
and say that we have found drugs here
and you're hiding something in your car.
Then, they'll arrest you
and hang you upside down and beat you up for the whole weekend
because it's Friday today
and you won't get bail until Monday morning.
Monday, you understand? ‐ Monday..
Great. That means I can come late on Monday, right?
Please call the police immediately, sir. I can't wait.
What's happening, dear?
Is he bothering you? ‐ Yes, sir.
I'm talking to him, man. Not you.
T.P., you're making a mountain out of a molehill.
It's just a joint. ‐ Yes, sir. It's just a joint.
It's just a sip, just a peg, just a bottle.
Just an injection, just a powder. ‐ Oh, man, T. P.
Just take a chill pill, bro.
Don't trouble Sapan Gill.
Seeing you this hyper
I'm feeling dizzy, man.
The office.. Everything seems to be moving. ‐ Sir
Weed, buddy.
I feel so high.
High five.
I didn't expect this from you.
You're getting influenced by the bad company you keep, sir.
T.P., man.
Share it, bro.
Chaddha sir has never smoked ganja ever.
At best, a double dose of cough syrup.
How many times have you been to Nepal?
Why do you even think that I have ever been to Nepal?
Is it? Then, where are you from?
Show me your passport.
I'm an Indian. An absolute Indian.
I have been to Nepal once in my life when I was maybe six.
He's influenced by hippie culture since childhood.
What? ‐ Don't act innocent.
In India, all these drugs come from neighbouring countries.
What do you mean?
I have been a drug smuggler since the age of six?
Aha! So, you confessed. You confessed.
What a duffer.
Hey, you. Did you record all this?
You did, right?
Good.
Next.
Drug abuse has erased the age line from his palm.
What a shame.
Do you know what this is?
It's cannabis.
You? Sarla ji.
I didn't expect this from you. Disgusting.
It's written over there. ‐ Where?
Oh, mother..
What is this?
Sir, this is the best stuff from Manali.
This is cannabis. You poor ass. This is rich people's addiction.
Go, get some tea. Go!
Which corrupted college have you graduated from?
Forget that. How do I know that this joint doesn't belong to you?
What do you mean?
You must have seen that film
where the investigating officer himself turns out to be the killer?
Yes, 'Hail Goddess Santoshi..'
No.. That was.. ‐ See?
People who smoke weed tend to forget things a lot.
Hey. I don't smoke.
I have called you here. ‐ So that I can interrogate you.
No. ‐ See, you forgot.
Didn't you call me here and ask me to interrogate you?
Isn't it, T. P.?
Oh, God, T. P.! How stoned are you?
Tell me! How much do you smoke? Come on, tell me now!
Chaddha sir... ‐ No!
I heard that he pressurised.. ‐ Hey.
I've heard that you imitate Sarla ji very well.
Yes. Yes. ‐ No. No.
Come on. ‐ Come on, do it.
'Son.'
'Check out my new haircut.'
'Don't I look young?'
I'm not that good... ‐ This was my impression.
Sarla ji, actually.. ‐ No.
Sarla ji, actually, he imitates everyone, including me.
Yeah, it's a fun..
Learn to respect your elders.
'Learn to respect your elders.' ‐ 'Learn to respect your elders.'
Jinx.
‐ Hey, come on.
This was a game we used to play in school.
Whenever two people say the same thing together
you have to say 'jinx' immediately.
And the other person has to do whatever they ask them to do.
Come on. This is so childish.. ‐ Shh..
You can't say anything until you do it.
Tea.
Until you get me a cup of hot tea, you can't say anything.
That's very easy.
Let's see.
Rules are rules.
Hey! ‐ Amit bhai.
That's not working.
I'm sorry, Amit.
Just your luck. You can't say anything.
Don't you remember?
I do.
But if I am partial towards you, people will question me.
So, I ask you once again.
Where were you last evening?
With you.
Is there any witness
or a proof to prove it?
Yeah, okay. Of course.
Will you get the containers, or should I arrange that?
Okay. Thanks. ‐ So, T. P.?
How is your sterilisation going on?
I mean to say your investigation. Have you made any progress?
People from Jai Hind Drug Rehabilitation Centre will be here any time now.
Who?
Drug rehabilitation centre.
Yes, sir. They will take everyone's urine samples.
After the lab test, we will find out who that stoner was.
There's a 24‐hour window.
What? ‐ Yes.
T.P., have you gone crazy?
How can you do this? Madhukar?
Madhukar. ‐ I'm here.
Tell him that it's against company rules.
Actually, I gave him the permission.
Why? ‐ What could I do?
He started threatening me
that he'll complain to the head office
saying that we are abusing drugs here.
But still, urine test?
How?
Yes. I'm a little worried about the urine test.
Because I went to LOL club last night.
I was a little nervous before my stand‐in act.
So, some comics back stage told me, 'Uncle..'
'Jags.' They said, 'Jags, take a drag of this'
'and you'll set the stage on fire.' So, I..
You know..
A little..
Later, I had a doubt
that it was just an herbal cigarette because
nobody laughed at my jokes.
So, it was nothing.
And there's nothing to worry about, I guess.
Okay. T. P., there will not be any urine test.
Okay? That's an order.
Sir, the trigger has been pulled now.. ‐ Shove it up, man!
I'm telling you. Only fingers will be sniffed. Okay?
Sir, people already had their lunch. We'll get nothing out of that.
I'm telling you nothing's more genuine than urine.
Everyone, drink water quickly.
Even he should know that I have move on him.
Okay, enough. This is the limit.
I can't run behind him for the rest of my life. ‐ Hi.
Chaddha sir is calling everyone to the conference room.
But we're chatting here, heart to heart.
Okay, there's time. You can chat at ease. ‐ Okay. We'll be there.
I was looking so damn hot in that brown top.
I was so.. I mean not so hot. Just basic hot.
You all shouldn't have made fun of T. P.
Sir, you made fun of T. P.
By imitating a stoner. ‐ Yes, I did.
But that was a test.
I wanted to see who will laugh.
And all of you were laughing.
And looking at you people laugh, I was crying from within.
Live long, sir. Live long.
I'm with you, T. P.
We'll fight against drugs together and protect this office.
Thank you, sir.
I'm against drugs. That's why I'm in drug police with T. P.
Have you ever seen the police get investigated?
I have a friend who is a police officer.
His younger brother
was addicted to drugs.
He was fond of rock music.
Even his favourite rock star was a drug addict.
The rock star fell in love with a Bihari woman
and even she was a drug addict.
In the end, all died. Drugs kill. I mean..
Sir, in the film 'Udta Punjab', it's actually the same.
It was just.. ‐ I have not seen that film. But..
Anyway, films are inspired from real life.
Obviously. ‐ But..
Sir? ‐ Yes, Pammi?
Even Amit has a sad story, which he wants to share with us.
The loser from the opposition.
No. Let him speak.
Go ahead, Amit.
Tell us. Why are you silent?
Amit. Come on, tell us. Whatever it is, just say it.
It's okay, Amit. Sit down.
Is it that sad?
Shit..
I thought I had Amit. But he handled the situation so well.
He is too good, man.
I'm impressed.
As you guys just saw, how dangerous drugs really are.
That's why everyone will have to go through a urine test.
Yes. Except for me. ‐ No, sir.
Rules are the same for everyone.
You'll also have to give your urine sample.
I'm not going to pee.
I'm in your team, idiot. ‐ There's no team in this, sir.
Rules are rules. Everyone will get examined, including me.
Sorry, I haven't had water since morning.
So, nothing is going to come out.. So..
It will, sir.
I'll stand behind you and..
make sounds like this, which will make you pee.
My respected mother.. ‐ T. P., please!
Sir.. ‐ T. P.!
Interrogation Room.
Everyone, fill the jars properly.
Hello, Suhasi ji. How are you?
Did you recognise me? ‐ No.
I'm T. P. Mishra.
I gave you my urine four years ago.
For my medical test.
We've done thousands of urine tests.
Mine was green.
Hey, it's you! ‐ Yes.
How are you? ‐ I'm fine now.
T.P. ‐ Absolutely..
I'll be back.
So, that's him.
Yes.
T.P., what happened to that Royal Pharma consignment?
I want their dispatch order and your urine.
I did the dispatch this morning.. ‐ Forget all that, T. P.
Can you give me your urine? ‐ It will go straight to the lab, sir.
I want your urine.
Just a little.
Why do you want it, sir? ‐ That's my personal matter.
No, sir, forget it.
T.P., listen.
I went to LOL comedy club last night
where some comedians coaxed me into smoking a joint.
A joint? Oh, my God!
That means your urine is not clean. ‐ Yes.
And that cannot be revealed in the report
because it wasn't my joint that you found in the pantry, T. P.
Sir, tell me, if the person who made you smoke up
was wearing a 'Kurta' and a 'Pyjama'?
Long hair and beard with a bag?
Forget all that, just give me your urine now.
Sir. No, sir.
You have put me in a moral dilemma, sir.
T.P., just give it to me.
This is stealing, sir.
How? People urinate everywhere, man.
You were also, and suddenly this cup came in between.
No, not this one. This one.
No, I can't do this, sir. ‐ Yes, you can! You can!
Don't forget that a boss is like God.
And when God has a problem, his devotees help him, right?
They always do.
You can, T. P.
You can.
T.P. ji. It's not right to give your urine for someone else.
Not just urine.
I can even give my semen for Chaddha sir.
This is wrong.
This is my duty.
'Interrogation room.'
When I was eight years old
my respected father, the Honourable Triambak Prasad Mishra ji
would take me to a 'Paan' shop every evening
where he used to distract the shopkeeper, Bhushan
and ask me to steal bundles of 553 brand cigarettes.
He used to say, 'It's not theft, son.'
'It's a game that the shopkeeper and I play.'
But, when I grew up, I found out that
Bhushan didn't even know about that game.
Sir..
But because of those cigarettes, father got cancer.
In the end, God will serve justice.
Not me.
I'm just a doer
who is ready to give up his life..
his urine for his loved ones.
Amit! Is anything happening between Chaddha sir and T. P.?
What?
Tell me.
Say something.
Okay, tell me a joke.
Hello?
Traffic police station?
I want to return the uniform
that you gave me.
When shall I come?
Okay.
Come in.
Did you call me, sir? ‐ T. P., come in.
Good news. Everybody in the office passed.
Even me. Because of you, my report is clear.
Congratulations, sir.
Why did you take off your uniform?
I returned it, sir.
Why?
Be it a watchman's uniform or a policeman's
once it's stained with corruption
it's ruined.
T.P., listen. T. P..
Tea. I got it from the shop downstairs.
Pour it for me.
Come on, pour it.
I haven't heard your voice for hours now. I'm going crazy.
Tell me now.
What's going on between T. P. and Chaddha sir?
Come on, tell me.
Hi.
Thank God.
Hi.
Pammi. Oh, man! I mean..
Did she have to shut me up today?
Today, T. P., in his watchman uniform
was distributing his urine door to door in a coffee mug.
I mean, imagine! Dude!
Because you showed your loyalty today and saved this office from danger
I, Jagdeep Kishore Chaddha
declare you Wilkins Chawla Faridabad branch's
security in‐charge.
Thank you, sir.
Sir, can I get a uniform like his?
This is a security guard's uniform.
You are in charge of him on our behalf.
So, can I get a rifle, sir?
T.P., you check if he has cut his nails or not
if his hat is straight, who's sleeping on duty.
I got it, sir.
You're so done, man.
I'll remind you of your mother and the military academy.
Get it? ‐ Give me the stick.
Yes, sir.
Triveni Prasad Mishra
now the country is in your hands.
I don't know why he does all this for Jagdeep sir.
What does he get from all this?
It's a very weird relationship between them.
I don't know what their future is.