Guys, what was so urgent that you called me here?
Shetty...
'Arrow shot from a bow, words once uttered,'
'items for sale, and sent mail can never be taken back.'
You never achieved anything in life
and now you want to ruin my life as well.
Now I don't even want to come back to pee...
Is your other job confirmed?
I had messaged her last night at 2:30.
But she hasn't replied yet.
Please check, buddy,
did you send any death threats to Sunaina last night?
Death threat?
Listen.
I have a friend who was jobless.
He started a crockery shop.
If you want...
I was thinking of buying a car on Diwali.
I was thinking of renovating my house,
I promised 200,000 to my mom.
Now you want me to start a crockery shop.
You can't even come to Pattaya with me on New Year.
I won't get a massage alone out there.
It's dangerous.
Don't worry, I'll figure out Nepal instead.
It'll also be in my budget.
Okay, listen.
You can take an off from the office.
The appraisals are today, and you won't be getting one.
So...there's no point.
Did you turn off the wifi?
Maybe I kicked it last night after sending the mail.
Turn it on.
- Is it working? - Yes.
Piyush, do you have a spare laptop?
You'll have to return this to the office.
Such bad luck.
Last night I was dreaming of a soul mate,
and now I'm looking for a new flat mate.
Listen...
Come here.
What now? Are you thinking of writing the policy letter?
No, come here. Shetty, come here.
Look.
"There's an uproar in my heart."
"Someone pulling the string."
"To do what I've decided."
"Although we do sweet talks,"
"Tea or coffee at 10 sharp."
"The heat is on, seat's are soft."
"Sending bombs in the mail, that explodes,"
"where we'll be seated next, making our dream come true."
"So much work and load,"
"I've decided destiny can try to play with me."
"There's an uproar in my heart."
"Someone pulling the string."
"To do what I've decided."
What do you think? Did Dhume read it?
He's on a trip. No chances... He is a family man.
Just like you.
You can call and apologise if you want.
He's on a family trip, Shetty.
He'll scream at me extra.
Leave it.
Come.
But you can still try...
I think you should call.
Careful. You'll die.
He's coming from your right. Kill him.
- I can see him. - His entire team's behind him.
- Take a look. - I can see them.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
- The ping went high on the last moment. - What would you have done?
We always get killed because of you.
Oh no!
First, go and learn the game.
This job wasn't that bad.
In the worst case, I would've sat on this bench playing games.
Or done trading.
Or watched porn.
- Morning. - Morning, Sunaina.
Morning, Piyush.
Morning...
You okay?
- Did you sleep well? - Yeah.
Okay.
Do you think everyone knows?
He didn't look left, or right. And took the shot.
Sir...
The saint on a high burnt his own hut.
Yes, everyone knows.
Talk to Supriya.
Tell him you got drunk and sent that mail, simple.
Today is the appraisal.
Do you think she will be interested in all this today?
At least try.
All I'm hoping is that they don't throw me out.
At least they give me a one month notice period. I'll make a comeback.
Think positive. Don't be so negative.
I am thinking positive.
Fine, they won't fire me.
But they can screw up my appraisals and put me on the bench.
- What's the worst that can happen? - Wait a second.
Something else is possible.
Even if they put you under Sunaina,
it's for your own good.
She will do all the work.
You don't have to do anything.
You just have to say yes ma'am.
No way!
Guys, see you in the conference room.
Five minutes, let's go.
Come on. Let's go.
Come on.
For review?
Have a cold drink, it will cool your mind.
Come on.
Appraisals are for employees benefits only.
We are not judging you guys,
let's move on to the next slide.
Sure.
This. Top Performer section.
Top 20 percentile of the employee.
They will get an A-1 rating.
This 70% of the employee, average performers.
A-2 rating.
This, bottom 10 percentile of the employees,
non-performers. A-3 rating.
One second.
How can we call them non-performers?
Suppose, out of 100 students in a math exam,
20 get 100 out of 100.
and the remaining 10 get 98 out of 100.
So the guys with 98 are non-performers?
I think he's right.
But I think it's a stupid question.
In what math exam has the minimum mark has been 98?
True.
'Someone said there are three types of lies.'
'Lies.'
'Damn lies.'
'And statistics.'
So in A-1 rating one will get an 18% increment,
an elaborate role, more responsibilities.
- A-2 rating one will get an 10% increment - Sunaina, you're a new joinee.
What are you doing here?
Preparing for next year. Please don't disturb.
And even for A-3, there is an attractive 4% increment.
Four percent. Even FD pays more.
Right not even four percent is like a jackpot.
Okay guys, any questions?
I might have questions later.
Great.
So we will start the review meeting in like 10 minutes.
See you there, guys.
- Thank you. - Any time.
Gyanesh has been mixing water in the cold drink.
There is no F in the appraisal, right.
No...
Isn't RDX getting an appraisal?
He should be thankful he isn't getting terminated.
He's definitely getting an F.
Sir...
one more green tea.
Listening to songs, sir.
Same film, Shawshank Redemption.
Finishing up.
Even I've seen Gadar 15 times.
Hard-working.
Listen...
I sent 'hi' to Sunaina on Tumble.
But she isn't replying.
- Should I ask? - Are you an asshole?
Isn't that what Supriya called you?
Gautam. Gautam.
It's your turn, let's go.
My turn's up. I'm going.
Okay buddy, all the best.
- Thank you. - Bye.
- All the best. - Yeah. Thanks.
Just be confident. You got it.
- That side. That side. - Sorry.
All the best.
Team builder.
Passionate.
So Gautam, do you buy everything online?
No, I go to CMart every day.
I see... what do you keep checking on your phone all the time?
Angad has provided us with every employee's efficiency.
You like online shopping.
No, I just...
What?
I just...
I just check the robustness of their software.
You know, I think we should aim at getting such plans.
Online shopping is a huge industry.
I see...
What other industries can we bring on board?
Dating apps. I think there's a huge scope for it.
Yes, we know that.
'The appraisal is that time of the year,'
'when the coordinates of a curve reflect your character.'
'And statistics reflect your skills.'
Shetty.
You continue...
100 out of 100.
All the best.
I said anything on top of my mind.
It's a bouncy track. Stay on.
All the best.
Doesn't look safe to me.
Angad's told them what app I download.
How can someone keep applying for paternity leave?
But that problem is still not solved.
The system crashes as soon as I send the mail.
Did you try as a female?
Sorry?
No, you're on leave on four months out of twelve.
And why should we promote you?
I think I should be judged on my track record,
and keep years of the year.
But the appraisal is for the future.
And future appears to be bleak, Shetty.
If you go on a long leave.
That's quite unlikely.
Thanks to HR.
Who reviews you?
Excuse me?
Yes.
Yes, Megha.
The whole system is so inefficient.
The HR cannot resolve a small problem.
Tell?
Get out.
Why are they not reviewing you, sir?
My first review was when the Cold War was on.
There's always a war in all his jobs.
Then 1991.
Liberalization came in India,
and my company gave me a poor rating and liberated me.
One more bad year.
One should learn from him to be consistent.
I am getting only 88 A-3.
Same here, bro.
1996 cricket world cup.
2006 Fifa world cup.
I always got the worst rating.
A-3...four percent increment.
Piyush.
Don't be so stressed.
Any rating won't matter.
Of course, it matters.
Piyush, blow them away.
He blew them away last night.
Every year if I get a four percent increment,
then in 18-20 years your salary will get doubled.
That is not bad growth.
What say?
Hey...
Yes...
Coming, Coming.
Gyanesh.
Gyanesh!
Piyush, are you looking for a new job?
Who told you?
Your LinkedIn profile.
You updated it last week.
No, I was actually adding a few new details.
I see... Are you sure?
Are you getting a call from Kiatech?
What?
Yes.
They are poaching employees from other teams as well.
Yes...we're reviewing you now,
and you put in your resignation.
No, no, no... No chance.
What do you think after the Jefferson goof up?
What should be your rating?
Code exploding at the crunch moment,
are the traits of a careless employee.
Hope you're getting it?
Yes, Megha.
Even Dhume sir was quite irate about you.
I can understand.
Let me ask you a question.
If we put you on the bench right now,
then what will be your reaction?
This Supriya was getting personal.
She is biased.
- Listen, Gautam. - Yes.
I am sure you guys will... You will do well.
This isn't right. They should keep personal and professional life separate.
What happened? You had a long review.
Was it a farewell instead?
- Sunaina. - Yes.
You're next.
Coming.
You're getting a review.
I requested HR for a mock review.
To prepare for next year.
Wish me luck, guys.
- All the best. - All the best.
- Thank you. - You'll kill it.
I know.
Piyush, what are you doing?
Pack up, Shetty.
I think they know.
I'll even get the pink slip by evening.
I don't think I'll get a month's notice period either.
- Why are you being so negative? - Relax, man.
And what are you doing?
Nothing, same. Applying for leave.
By the way, I'm hoping for A-1.
Worst case, A-2.
I just hope I get A-3.
Stop laughing, okay.
Sunaina isn't responding.
I am getting jobless,
and you're thinking about girls.
Okay, guys. Your review is done.
One by one we'll provide you with the ratings.
All the best.
All the best, guys.
Yes. All the best.
Your boss says that you're chirpy
excited, perfect team man.
Slightly distracted.
But as you've said, you check these websites to gauge their robustness.
And it is for the company's benefit only.
I am happy to inform you that this year's annual performance rating is A-2.
Congratulations.
A-3 is not that bad.
You get a handsome increment of four percent.
And if you do well this year,
who knows your career might be right on track.
You're always balanced
you never give up in pressure situations,
you speak very politely to the senior employees,
you speak always in a measured way,
all these are signs of good leadership.
Even your client feedback is pretty good.
Jefferson is very happy with your work.
Your reporting authority Megha has recommended an A-1 rating for you,
which we are approving.
Wish you all the success and luck, Piyush.
Congratulations.
- Thank you. - Welcome.
You can go.
How did he get A-3?
How did you get an A-1?
They don't know yet that I've resigned.
Dhume is returning tomorrow. They will find out.
Apologise now.
Have you read my resignation mail?
I made a personal attack thanks to your piece of literature.
Why do you think Dhume will accept my apology?
Try it.
- Hi, guys? - Try what?
Hi, Sunaina.
Is he okay?
How did he get A-3?
Exactly.
He had an argument over paternity leave.
There's a section on behaviour in the final score.
HR gave him a zero.
Ruined his KPI.
Poor thing. He was planning for a child, nah.
A-3 means your career takes a dive for three years.
But not 30 years.
I will cover up next year.
- Yeah. - Of course.
Is this your personal system?
Hack it. Take it out.
He's shoving his nose in others' business again.
Enter the password.
What is this? Music?
You've a list.
Wait a second.
Gautam
I've an idea.
What?
Nothing, just...
Have this...
Okay, bye guys. See you tomorrow.
- Bye. - Bye.
What's the matter? Made a loss again.
Bullshit.
You guys haven't left yet.
I told you I don't attend parties.
How are you three being so polite to me today?
It's not sudden.
- Its... - No, we're not.
It's nothing, I'm just repaying an old favour.
Remember that Saturday.
Where you made me feel like Goa in the office.
I got an A-1 today,
so I thought the party's on me.
Come on, bro. I owe you a party.
He's got an A-1.
Please, don't say no.
My mom says if we don't repay favours in this lifetime,
then we become a black cow in the next life.
Bull.
Buffalo.
Right. So...
Cheers.
- Cheers, Angad. - Angad.
Guys, we're drinking for the first time with Angad, right?
- Yes... - I've had a drink with him before.
I told you that office thing... Setup.
You guys drank in the office. I wouldn't do that.
- You guys just missed it. - I wouldn't dream of it, man.
It was so good.
He knew everything about the office,
I mean what, where, when.
You were really good at catching Sandhya.
No one know she was preparing for CAT exams.
This is a cinch for Angad.
Guys, that's nothing. That office trip, Goa trip...
You had to be there. Remember... it was a lot of fun.
I've a bad memory.
Happens. Happens.
He's a lot of fun after drinking.
- This is... - I know...
Angad, tell us something about yourself.
I mean have you always been like this?
I mean calm. He isn't dull.
- But he's got no expression. - It's my nature. Since childhood...
to speak less, be quiet.
Do you have a problem?
No, I don't have a problem. I didn't mean it like that.
- It is unique. - He's an introvert.
Meaning he's the reality type.
I mean what do you do for fun.
- Yeah... - Like music.
Running. Sports.
- Travelling. - Yeah, movies.
- Anything. - Tell us.
In my childhood, when any child used to copy in his exams,
Like I did sometimes...
I used to tell the teacher.
When my older brother would steal money from the house,
I would tell my dad.
When the neighbour's wife would cheat on her husband,
I would tell her husband.
You know. Sadistic pleasure.
That's where I get my fun.
Lots of fun.
It's a good thing you turned off the music.
I saw through your charade.
What's going on?
Why did you call me here?
What's going on?
What do you want? Make a peg.
Yes, yes...
- Gautam. - Yes, yes...
What do you want?
So an employee gets drunk and sends a resignation mail.
And now he wants that mail to be deleted from the server.
For which he's called me to the party and trying to bribe me.
Right?
If the HR finds out about this you'll get fired.
But I'll get an A-1 rating for three years.
How could you even think
a man like me who gets sadistic pleasure from all this,
will do such a sensitive job for you?
Thank you for the drinks.
When was the last time you went to a party?
Do you remember?
What? Can't remember?
Doesn't matter. Have you been to one?
I am pretty sure all your childhood stories were a lie.
Even I was an introvert.
I know no one gives you any attention.
You stay frustrated.
And what do you try to show?
That you hate people.
Great. So you can be a dude?
When actually you want people to come to you.
But no one does.
So you pretend to stay away from them.
Yes... if I can get you here for my job,
I can handle Megha and Dhume as well.
Shetty, do you have more alcohol?
Because I need it.
And turn up the volume. I'm not getting the vibe.
Yes, Gautam, turn up the volume.
Yes, yes...
And we've lots of alcohol.
Any song you want to listen?
Your favourite song?
Song? Any favourite song?
- Aashiqui. - Aashiqui.
Aashiqui.
- Aashiqui. 2? - Yes.
Yeah...
Please Gautam, I'm telling you he'll leave now.
Yes, yes, I am coming.
He's a henpecked husband. Someone make him a man.
At least stay tonight.
I had booked a cab.
Cancel the cab right now.
- She is waiting alone. - This doesn't happen often.
Try to understand.
- This is enough. - She is waiting for me.
That's it.
She just texted.
Who?
Hi, Gautam. Shruti here.
Shruti.
Great.
It wasn't Supriya or Sunaina.
You got saved from being called an asshole again.
At least wait for another peg.
One second, my cab is here. Guys, see you.
- You have. - Of course, I'm going to drink more.
What about you?
I'll make one more peg.
Shetty, I hope you get a whacking today.
'Gautam kept partying all year long,'
'and got an A-2.'
'Because he gave random knowledge during the review.'
'Shetty, who always kept quiet and did his job,'
'argued at the review meet and ruined his KPI.'
'And martyred with A-3.'
'Einstein has said not everything that can be measured is important.'
'Not everything that is important can be imagined.'
'I don't care whether the rating is A-1 or A-2.'
'A-2 or A-3.'
'Making Angad delete the mail,'
'No curve in the world can calculate this.'
'argued at the review meet and ruined his KPI.'
'Statistics don't define us.'
'But how we react to the real facts definitely defines us.'