[light switches off]
[clock ticks]
[door creaks]
[door shuts]
[clock ticks]
[door clicks, squeaks open]
[toilet flushes]
[typing on the phone]
[clock ticking]
[keypad beeps]
HE JUST SLEPT 15 MINUTES AGO
HAVE YOU HAD DINNER?
WANNA ORDER FOR WAFFLES?
[typing on the phone]
[intense mobile game music plays]
Mummy!
Hungry!
[sighs]
[notification dings]
[title track plays]
♪ Let go… ♪
♪ Of the good ol' day ♪
♪ Of the silent night That's slipped away ♪
♪ Let it go… ♪
♪ Stop! ♪
♪ Freeze this moment in time ♪
♪ Where happiness blooms ♪
♪ Don't let it fade away! ♪
♪ For the Night is Young ♪
♪ Till I have you, my friend ♪
♪ For us the Night is Young ♪
♪ Until the very end ♪
♪ My friend! ♪
♪ O' my friend! ♪
[title track concludes]
EPISODE 1 WANNA CATCH A MOVIE?
[kids and mothers chattering]
- [baby crying, wailing] - [Avi] Aw, it's okay.
It's okay, Rahi! It's okay, my baby!
Calm down!
Why are the kids so cranky today? What's wrong with Rahi?
What else would you be if someone shoves sharp objects on your bum?
The night's young again tonight…
Kadambari, be careful, sweetheart!
[Avi] This doctor's a piece of work. His bum's redder than a tomato!
I'll have to look for a new pediac.
You ask her any questions, "Why's the kid crying?"
"Why isn't he doing potty?" She just has one answer.
- "Every child is different, sir!" - [Radz and Suman chuckle]
Why go to a medical school if that's your answer?
Take him to my pediatrician.
He's ambidextrous.
He shoves two injections at a time.
The kid gets confused if she's supposed to cry for the first or the second?
My pedo's pretty good though.
"Pediatrician" is a long word.
So, you're gonna use "pedo"?
What is "pedo"?
Wow! Answer her!
Please!
- Um… - Um?
Sweetie, that's Mumma's enemy.
Go on. Go play!
Hey, guys! The Avengers is releasing the day after!
- Let's book the tickets? - Yeah, of course!
Yeah, sure.
You'll come, right?
Man, wanna watch Avengers next week?
Let's book the tickets? I'll do it.
Hmm?
Avengers! Guys, hello!
Remember that glorious time,
when we'd catch the first day first show every week!
It was also a glorious time when I didn't pee my pants every time I sneezed!
Wear a bloody diaper! Come on!
Eshu! Eshu!
Eshu!
- Where are you off to? - [Radz] No, it won't be possible.
Baby, come here. Come to me!
The Lord knows you could use a break!
[Radz] It's okay. It's alright.
Look, Boo-boo,
if the three of us want to catch a movie together on a weekday
six adults will need to be free at the same time!
That's husbands, wives, mothers…
Six people.
That's a problem even calculus can't solve, my friend.
Just try, motherf…
- We could try… - And fail.
- And not try… - And not fail.
Hey! Kadambari, wait!
- Wait, Kadambari! - [Suman] Let's play on the swing!
Let's try for the weekend?
No, weekend, I'm busy. Just watch her.
- Next weekend? - [Suman] No.
Have plans at Mom's.
The weekend after?
I'll be in Lonavla.
- The next? - [Suman] No, Sattu's going to Amritsar.
What about the next?
- How about next month? - Next month…
Yeah, just poop all over my plan, why don't you?
The next Avengers will be out by the time you guys decide!
Why are you crying? What's the big deal?
This is it.
This is it!
We've finally become those parents who are just parents, not individuals!
Who have no life!
We can't go to a cafe for a coffee, right?
Can't poop in peace.
Can't even to a party. Unless it's B.Y.O.B.
[swing creaks]
Come on, sweetie.
I mean Bring Your Own Baby.
And we can't even watch superhero movies.
Be we're superheroes ourselves!
We're "parents"!
Our dinner goes cold because the child wants to shit!
And when I need to go, he's always sprawled on my chest!
I'm gonna get piles!
We used to be so wild, man!
We planned a Goa trip on an evening walk once,
and we were in Goa next morning, having omelet and beer for breakfast!
This is not done, man!
What was that?
Sweetie, that's called a monologue.
I'm booking the center seats.
- We'll make it. - [Radz] Yeah, alright.
We'll try, okay?
I'll get back to you.
I'll try, for sure!
[Avi] Great.
Poor guy…
We'll wear our old Avengers T-shirts!
Yeah, no.
[gentle chatter of kids playing]
[snaps finger] Excuse me!
Is that your daughter on the slide?
- What's wrong? - What's wrong?
You should be standing there.
She's taken over the whole slide!
[kids giggling]
The kids seem to be having fun.
Did your child complain?
Why would he?
I can see it! Look! Anyone can see.
Look, she's not letting anyone play.
- You should be looking after your kid! - I won't let you go!
Stop loitering around here!
Don't loiter in a park?!
Kadambari!
Baby, come back!
His mother is bugging me. Get back here.
Hello?
Any more orders, Your Highness? Or are you leaving?
How dare you talk like that?
I'm talking to you for the kids' sake.
I have no interest in that damn slide!
Like mother, like daughter. Both mannerless!
[menacing music]
Are you the damn Park Police?
You're gonna decide, who's gonna play, who's gonna loiter?
Just-- Don't talk to me like that.
Once a Virar local girl, always a Virar local girl.
You wanna know what I teach my daughter?
I teach her not to take shit from useless pricks!
- Mind your tongue-- - I won't. What are you gonna do about it?
[fumbles]
I'll complain to the police.
Wow, the cops have nothing better to do.
I'll dial 911!
[Radz] Yeah, hurry!
Hello, ACP Pradyuman?
What shameless people!
Scram!
Bloody witch!
Have you guys lost your mind?
Go straight, take a left, and then f*** off!
[Avi laughs]
You're ruining the sanctity of this park, Radhika ji!
[cartoon playing on TV]
[notification dings]
[cartoon continues playing over TV]
[somber music plays]
[music swells into an uplifting tune]
[doorbell rings]
He's asleep?
Come on… [tuts]
[Avi] ♪ A good guy's The guy to be ♪
♪ An honest guy's the guy to be ♪
♪ A sweet guy's the guy to be ♪
♪ That's the guy you need to be ♪
[continues humming]
♪ Rahi is a good boy ♪
♪ Rahi is a sweet boy ♪
♪ A good guy's the guy to be ♪
[Rahi babbles]
[Avi continues humming]
♪ Rahi is a good boy ♪
♪ Rahi is a sweet boy ♪
♪ Rahi is the best boy ♪
[door creaks close]
[Rahi babbles softly]
[door gently creaks close]
[sighs]
Can I please go and smell his head now?
No.
Please…
The fragrance of your motherhood will wake him up.
Smell mine. Nobody puked on my hair today.
Puke-free hair is a turn-on.
Aw, thank you, Mommy!
[clicks tongue] Don't "mommy" me.
It's too creepy,
- that thing, okay? - Okay, sorry.
Hmm.
How was your day?
Today morning, this stupid--
What do you want?
Excuse me?!
Come home by 6:00 p.m. day after tomorrow? I wanna go watch Avengers.
Okay.
Thanks, I'm really tired. Go have your dinner.
B***h!
[Avi grunts]
[Rahi starts crying]
Your son doesn't even sleep as long as it takes to put him to bed!
I was reading in this parenting book…
If you ferberize him…
He was born because of the fertilization.
Ferberizing!
Enough of this Western shit, man. Let's put him to bed and sleep.
Give me ten minutes. I'm starving.
[Avi mock babbles]
Okay.
[resumes humming]
- [temple bells tolling] - [vehicles honking]
[Radz] Just try, Rishi!
Please, man!
It's matchday.
I told you, I would've handled her if it wasn't for the match.
You're not the opening batsman!
You're a back-up physiotherapist.
Stop trying to be cool by saying "match".
Can't you take a leave like normal people?
No.
I mean, hypothetically, a physiotherapist could also get injured, right?
Where's your dad?
He's gone for a meditation retreat.
So, they're not supposed to speak here. I'm sure he can text.
They're not allowed to carry phones, man!
He's supposed to be back soon, but I can't get in touch with him.
Okay, don't worry.
I'll drop her off at my parents'.
They'll take care of her.
No, no…
There's no need to trouble them. Are you mad?
I'll figure something out.
Okay.
- It's done! [claps] - Yay!
Papa, unicorn!
- [Rishi] Come on! - [Radz chuckles]
[Rishi] Come here.
[Radz] Hold on tighter!
[neighs]
Sir, please be a dog over there.
I need to clean.
- Bano Didi, a dog? - [Radz chuckles]
Who sits on a dog?
I'm a horse!
Yeah, fine. Move the horse. I need to clean.
Bano, he's not a horse! He's a unicorn, silly!
Sir, can you be a Videocon outside? I need to clean.
[Radz continues laughing]
Videocon! Kaddu's unicorn!
[Rishi and Kadambari] Unicorn!
Bano, it's not Videocon. It's unicorn.
Omicron?
Not Omicron. Uni-corn!
Uni-co-run?
Uni-corn!
Uni-co-run!
- [divine music plays] - [Bano] Uni-co-run!
[slow reverb] Uni-co-run!
Hey, Bano!
Babysit my kid for an evening, please!
I wanna catch a movie.
I'm sorry, ma'am!
I can do a hundred more dishes.
But I won't handle a kid.
[kids chatter]
[cheerful music plays]
[toy train horn blares]
Where's your mom?
[Kadambari] There!
[Radz] Woo-hoo!
[attendant] Ma'am, please! You'll ruin the balls!
Hey!
Why's your kid always snoozing?
Why do I bother bringing him?
He doesn't sleep at home, and doesn't wake up outside.
[Suman] Hi!
He's sleeping again?
When will he wake up?
No idea. He didn't tell me, you see.
Ooh! Someone's cranky.
Faced the wrath of Swadha?
Wanna play games?
[scoffs]
Tell us, man!
No, why would I fight with Swadha?
- So who did you fight? - Mavshi.
- Again? - [Avi] Yeah.
- What happened this time? - Forget it, man.
- [Radz] Tell me, man. - It's my fault.
I usually drink black coffee.
But today, I told her…
Mavshi, is the chai ready?
[Mavshi] It's ready!
I'm getting it.
Here you go, sir.
[car honks]
Thank you.
What should I give the baby?
I'll feed him.
Hey, Rahi!
[Mavshi mock babbles]
[Rahi giggles]
It's a bit sweet, but the ginger was a nice touch.
Mavshi, there was a glass bottle here.
Here it is.
Did you spill it?
No.
I used it for the chai.
You wanted to use it to make curd?
Mavshi, that was Swadha's milk--
I mean, it was Rahi's milk!
Swadha expresses it!
What am I gonna feed Rahi?
We keep his milk in bags, don't we?
Why did you keep it in a bottle?
We were out of storage bags, so I kept it in a bottle!
We store our milk in tetra packs!
That was over.
Then just tell me! Why are you improvising?!
Swadha goes through a lot of trouble to express the milk twice a day.
For Rahi, for her baby-- And we used it to make chai!
Well, a cow goes through a lot of trouble to "express" its milk for her calf.
Not for our chai.
[ironic music plays]
How did it taste?
[Radz] Yes, Avi!
How did it taste?
Like you've never tasted it?
Never in chai.
What about coffee?
No, I don't think so!
Did Mavshi enjoy the chai?
- Shut up, man! - [Radz and Suman laugh]
And then she tells me, "A mother's milk can cure every illness!"
She's right.
Firstly, Swadha's not my mother.
And do I look like a patient to you?!
Well, he's already pissed. Let's just tell him right now.
- Hmm. - [Avi] What?
We can't come to the movie.
My husband has an important match, and my dad's absconding.
Go to hell!
I'll put my feet up on your seat.
What did Manju say?
What… just you and me?
Yeah, we're not going on a date, are we? What's she tripping on?
[gasps]
[Eshaan] Mummy!
[Suman] Eshu, you shouldn't hit Mummy.
What a throw!
- [kids chattering] - [gentle music plays]
[mock babbles]
Fly!
He'll fly and go…
and hit the monkey!
[mock babbles]
[mimics a motor playfully]
[phone notification dings]
Hi!
I just saw you with your kid.
He's really cute. A boy, right?
Yes.
Yeah, you're really awesome with him.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
How old is your kid?
Seven. Actually, I got married really early.
- At the age of fifteen? - [laughs]
LMAO. You're so funny!
And what's his name?
His name is Avinash. His name is Rahi. And you are?
Pooja.
Female version of, "Bet you've heard that name before!"
LOL!
You're just too funny.
But it's so nice that you have time even on weekdays…
Tiara's dad is busy on weekends as well!
That's my daughter Tiara.
Tiara!
- Hi! - [Avi] Hi!
- She's so cute, right? - Yeah, just like you.
Aw, that's so sweet.
Do you like Avengers by any chance?
Not really.
But I've heard the new one also features Krish?
Yeah, so I've heard.
Yeah.
Hi, baby!
Hi! How are you?
- Hi! - Hi!
I'm handsome's wife. Who are you?
I'm Pooja. That's my daughter Tiara. She's seven.
Good for you!
- She got married really early. - [Pooja] Yeah.
[all chuckle awkwardly]
- [Kadambari] Abracadabra! - [soft music plays]
Gili Gili Choo!
Complete this properly first.
[Rishi] Yeah, I'm coming!
- But what's the scene? - Hey, Rishi!
Yeah?
Going somewhere?
That Cool Bar.
What cool bar?
That's the name of the place.
That Cool Bar.
So, you're taking Kadambari, huh?
I didn't tell you?
Of course, you did.
That’s the look you see on my face when you tell me things.
What about her bedtime?
It's just bedtime…
[tuts]
[fake chuckles]
- You find this funny? - [giggles]
Because it's just bedtime, right? And it's just bath time!
I had specifically told you, right? "I wanna go cycling tonight."
"Please take care of her today."
Okay, I won't go.
So many stars, but just one moon!
- [Rishi] Huh? - Yes!
Just complete this, alright. Mumma will be back.
My baby!
So, I shouldn't go, right?
Decide for yourself.
[Rishi sighs]
[Rishi] Well, but if my decision doesn't align with your thoughts, I'll be f***ed.
So, just tell me what to do.
[spatula tapping the pan]
I don't wanna fight in front of Kadambari.
Baby, I don't wanna fight at all!
What's the big deal? I'll cancel!
Where's my damn phone?
I'll just tell them my wife wants to go cycling.
- I won't go-- - Don't make me the villain!
Don't paint me as a villain in front of your friends.
You wanna go, right?
Just go.
Have fun.
[Radhika breathes deeply]
Are you crying?
F***. You're-- Are you gonna cry?
How many times have I told you to not ask me if I'm gonna cry!
That always makes me cry!
- I'm not going. - [Radz] No.
- But just… - [glass bottles clink]
next time…
just have a word with me before you make these instant plans, alright?
I'll be ready, right?
Alright?
Go. Have fun.
Right.
[Radz sniffles]
What is wrong with you?
You say such things that…
I cry instantly!
- One fish. Fell into the water. Splash! - [uneasy music plays]
Two fish. Fell into the water. Splash!
One fish. Fell into the water. Splash!
Five fish. Fell into the water. Splash!
Finish your food, Kadambari. Come on.
Good night.
Kisses!
[Radz] Come on, finish your food.
I can't believe you're actually going!
[door closes]
What's with the surgical strike, man?
You asked me to decide.
I decided to go. Now I'm going. Why the last-minute drama?
I'm not being dramatic!
I'm just saying you decided one hour ago,
that you wanna go out and chill with your friends.
And you can go.
I've been planning to catch a movie for two days, but I can't do that?
I told you we could drop her off at my parents'!
What's the problem?
She'll have some sweets and maybe some extra screen time.
I've grown up gorging on biscuits while watching TV!
Coffee!
What?
They gave her coffee last time! She's three years old, man!
Why are you saying it as if it was snake poison?
She might've tasted a bit.
You drink three cups a day!
- Also… - Please finish your food.
Finish that bite first.
What nonsense man…
And…
they're her grandparents!
They can feed her coffee, they can feed her biscuits!
There's no need to yell in front of Kadambari, Rishi!
Yeah, try saying that without yelling!
[door thuds close]
[Radz] Go on, baby. Eat. Finish your food.
I'm taking the keys. Don't lock the door from inside.
Dad! You're a pedo!
Pedo! Pedo!
What?
[quirky music plays]
[chuckles]
- [Suman] Mom! We've left-- - [Manju on call] You haven't left, right?
Your sister had called.
She's called me to look after Tashu.
She and her husband need to attend some important client dinner.
And their Nani's busy today, because--
You're the Nani. That's their nanny.
[Manju] Yeah, whatever…
You can come tomorrow--
No, I need to attend a friend's kitty party in my building.
You can drop Tashu off at my place the day after.
But Dad's home, right? Can't he look after him?
[Manju] Your dad's never even bothered to look after himself!
How will he look after the kids?
So, as always, you've chosen Saloni over me.
[Manju] What are you saying?
You just wanna go watch a movie, right?
You could go anytime!
She has an important office dinner!
- [line disconnects] - [cartoons playing in the background]
[screams silently]
[Sudha Murthy cartoon plays on iPad]
[knock on the window]
Why are you bawling?
Did someone hit you?
This is a no-parking zone.
Come on, move!
Can't even have a meltdown in peace!
Mumma, please don't go!
Baby, I'll go for some time and be back in a jiffy!
Grandpa will be here with you.
Please! Don't go!
What's with the long faces?!
Just leave, Radhika. She'll be fine.
How can I just abandon her like that, Pa?
Mumma, please don't abadaba me.
Sweetie, she's fed, clothed, and with a grandparent.
This is not abandoning.
- That's not true! - Really?
Tell me something…
when Rishi goes out…
does she plead with him to stop?
- Yeah. - And he doesn't go?
He does.
After your mother passed away…
if I would've…
given up on myself…
or things that make me happy,
I would've been a really sad man.
But I prioritized my happiness just as I did yours.
And I'm doing fine, right?
Yeah.
You're also fine!
- Just remember one thing. - [sensitive music plays]
Sure, take care of your daughter, but don't you dare forget about mine!
Yeah?
Now just go out and relax for a bit.
I've raised you…
I can take care of your daughter!
- Papa, at 4-- - And I'll do it my way!
But I'll take care of her.
Cool?
Cool.
What a line!
You need to teach me this emo stuff. It'll be helpful with her.
Get out of here now.
Go on.
Kadambari, sweetie…
Let's watch some cartoons!
But Mumma says…
TV will make my eyes blind and my brain small!
[Radhika's Dad] But it's Thursday, right?
Yeah, it's Thursday.
The TV doesn't do that on Thursdays.
In fact, my favorite cartoon plays on TV on Thursdays.
Let's watch that.
Go.
- Okay. - Okay, come.
Come on!
Yes! Good job!
- And? - [Kadambari] Look at how I sit!
[Radhika's Dad] Come on. Let's start.
[kids] Get him! Get him!
[boy] Catch me if you can!
[kids] Get him! Come on!
- Get him - [sobs]
Look, that aunty is crying.
Yeah, she's crying.
[sniffles]
[kids] Run! Run!
Run! Run!
[Eshaan] Papa!
Eshu, you shouldn't call strangers "Papa".
[Sattu] But he can call his Papa "Papa", right?
Sattu? You--
You had a meeting, right?
Yeah, but I saw your text about your plan.
I told them you were under the weather and left.
Just don't post anything on social media, alright?
Go on.
Satvinder Singh Gulati…
you are…
[funky music plays]
Go on, you'll miss the movie.
- You'll watch him, right? - Yeah.
- That-- - Your bag…
No?
[upbeat music playing]
- [Rahi babbles] - No, don't-- Don't look at me.
Look at the trees.
Why's the baby here?
Can't leave him alone.
Swadha needs to sort some urgent paperwork for court tomorrow.
Avi, the movie starts in 20 minutes, man.
Go on, have fun. I'll watch it over the weekend.
What bullshit?!
We don't give a damn about Avengers.
You wanted to watch it, and we wanted to watch it together!
But I can't bring him along.
You know what, let's just take him. We'll figure it out. Come on.
We'll bring him outside for a walk if he cries.
We'll take turns. Let's go.
What's the point? Are you crazy?
I hate parents who bring crying kids to the movie theater.
So, what should we do?
[film music playing]
["Akhiyaan Milaoon Kabhi" playing on TV]
♪ Sometimes, I'll meet your eyes Sometimes, I'll shy away! ♪
♪ You have me under your spell! ♪
Her eyes are pointing outward! You're doing it wrong.
♪ Sometimes, I'll meet your eyes Sometimes, I'll shy away! ♪
♪ You have me under your spell! ♪
♪ Sometimes, I'll meet your eyes Sometimes, I'll shy away! ♪
Sanju, what are you doing to me, man?
♪ You have me under your spell! ♪
♪ Sometimes, I'm coy Sometimes, I jump at you ♪
♪ I'm out of control! ♪
♪ My feet are just… dancing to the beat! ♪
Need water!
- Love you, Sanju. Bye! - [Suman] I need chips!
[Radz] I need water!
[Suman pants]
Grow up, guys.
Never.
I had cried when I saw this movie for the first time.
I feel sad for you, Avi.
Man, this is so nice.
- I mean, I love our kids. - [poignant music plays]
I really do.
But…
I miss that "do nothing" phase, you know?
Now, even if we wanna do something small,
we need to plan it like a f***ing space expedition.
And it still falls through.
I like how poorly you think of space expeditions.
[Suman sighs]
God gave us children, but he took our childhood away.
[Radz] Avi, my child!
Why are we smoking these f***ing clove cigarettes?
Are we 17 again?
- Sometimes I wish we were 17 again? - What?!
You were a mess at 17.
"Avi doesn't love me!"
"Why does he wanna date a girl called 'Prinkle'?"
Guys, Prinkle was ready to bl** me in a movie theater.
I was 17 and horny.
And Suman was Amrita Arora from Vivaah.
[giggles]
That wasn't Amrita Arora.
- Amrita Singh, right? - Could be…
Not Amrita Singh…
Amrita Rao.
Amrita Singh is that guy's mom.
I need to pee.
Right!
Hey, you're drunk!
She's not his mom, she's his ex-wife.
Idiot!
But she's someone's mom, right?
[door clicks close]
Come on, Suman! Flirting with me again?
This ship has sailed, man.
What did I say?
You don't have to say something to flirt.
I'm not flirting.
But your eyes are.
[Radz] And it was not like I asked Rishi to skip office and stay at home!
No, I just want the small things, man!
We wanted to have fun, and we are having fun!
We're chilling together!
This is way more fun than Avengers, right?
We're Avengers assembled!
[all chuckle]
You know what Harivansh Rai ji once said?
I had heard Amit ji say it obviously.
If things fall in place, good.
If they don't, even better! Screw it!
- I'm sure he didn't say "Screw it". - No, he didn't.
Definitely not.
[Rahi starts crying]
Hey!
- [Radz sighs] - [party pooper music]
Party's over.
The night's young again tonight…