'I'm small but I'm called big.'
'I bathe in the white river.'
'I'm the favourite of girls.'
'Often, I'm found at fairs.'
'I'm the favourite of girls?'
Ms. Bijli, what do girls like?
Well.. - Sir, you're asking the wrong person.
She isn't a girl but an old hag.
You rascal!
I'm not an old hag!
Nor are you a young girl.
You.. - Oh, come on.
She isn't an old hag but a bag
which her grandpa forcibly handed over to me.
Oh, hello!
I didn't have a shortage of proposals.
No relationship undersupply.
No, dear, you are misunderstanding me.
You're the medicine to all of my wounds!
My darling!
What's going on, by God!
We haven't come here to see your family drama.
We have to solve this riddle right now.
Or else, all of us will be in danger.
Yes, CP is right.
Then make guesses about it.
Where is this white river?
I've heard of the Mithi river.
Where is it situated?
Well, in Mumbai.
Idiots!
This ghost always throws letters to demand food.
Yes, Mom is absolutely right.
This white river
is an food item.
Right. - 'Raita'!
'Raita'!
Using 'Raita', curry is made.
Did you hear that?
They make curry out of 'Raita'!
You guys must be making it out of sugar syrup, right?
No way.
We prepare it using whey.
What did you say?
Whey?
Whey is made using curd.
My son is a golden boy!
Oh, Dad!
Golden child!
'Dahi Vade'! Yes!
This cat stole the words from my mouth!
Bring two cups of tea. - Yes, I'll get it!
O' God, keep me safe!
What more do I have to do to earn Titli's love!
If the ghost eats me up
how will I love her!
O' God!
Nothing will happen. I want my mom!
Mom!
Mom..
Mom!
'Mere Desh Ki Dharti.'
"The land of my country.."
"The land of my country"
"grows gold, diamonds and pearls."
"The land of my country.."
Hey, Jije!
Yes, Dad?
Son, I'm not getting any pressure.
Dad
had I sold you digestive tablets
for you to give me an update
about you feeling any pressure or not?
Jije
we're not talking about pressure for bowel movements.
That's the only pressure which one doesn't get easily.
We are experiencing all the other pressures, Mom.
Son, for now, I'm not getting any water too.
The source to it downstairs seems to be broken.
Check it. - Oh, is that so?
Then ask for the key to the motor room.
Come on, ask for it.
Snatch! Snatch!
Rice are being dried up on my terrace.
You ask for it.
Jije, you know it very well
that if I don't bathe nine times a day
my body starts itching.
Then Mom
take the key from 'Crime Patrol'
and switch the motor on.
What!
She won't listen to her.
Son, she is only afraid of you.
Eating terror!
She isn't afraid of me.
'Jaldiram's. Punjabi Bagh, Delhi - 110026.'
'Crime Patrol'!
'Crime Patrol', start the motor.
'Crime Patrol'!
Who is it!
Dear, this rainy frog is shouting. Start the motor.
Why should I do it!
We're not their servants!
They don't even have the manners to talk.
Such shameless people!
Dear, take it easy..
No way.
What is it? - Hi, excuse me.
Connaught Place, could you please..
Come on, just go and switch the water motor on!
Hey, you
first you go and learn some manners.
Did I make a mistake in honouring Her Grace, CP?
What did you do?
What did you just call me?
You shouted and called me out
'Crime Patrol', right?
It was a slip of tongue. Forget it.
Then even you forget it.
Forget about this motor even being switched on!
Idiot.
Do one thing.
Hold your ears and say sorry first
Then, I will think about switching the motor on.
Okay? Do it.
Holding ears and saying sorry?
What's wrong with you!
I'm not doing anything of this sort.
Well, then
no matter who comes and tells me to do it
I won't switch the motor on.
You know what, you can just go and get lost!
Get lost..
Dear, I was saying that
please switch the motor on.
Mr. Nanny..
What? - Yes, dear?
I mean, Mr. Nanne..
It's okay.
Make your son understand
to talk to me with manners.
Tell him to request me.
Only then, will I start the motor. Not otherwise.
Dear, he has nothing to do with manners.
"Woah.."
Dad, you don't leave a single chance
to insult me in front of foes!
Hey, you are family!
One has to plead to get his work done.
Try to understand.
Oh, hello!
Enough of murmuring!
Dear..
The motor won't be switched on.
I can give it to you in writing.
Hey, dear.. - No. What is it?
Listen to me..
Don't whisper, Dad. You know that I don't like it.
Hey, dear.. - No way.
Listen, the customers are watching. - No.
The motor won't be switched on! - You go..
Fine! - Just go..
Dad, get this out of the way! - Go inside, dear.
The motor won't be switched on.
Oh, wow!
You're getting so well-dressed. What..
A nuptial chain!
It's really beautiful.
Hey, what are you doing!
Unmarried girls don't wear nuptial chains.
Then get me married.
Anyway, I feel like getting married.
Getting married isn't like having 'Golgappas'
for you to eat it only because you're in the mood!
Oh, come on. By God!
All girls of my age have got married.
Why? Anju, the daughter of Ms. Anaro
isn't she of your age?
She is three years younger to me.
And even Pammi
the daughter of Aunt Kayla from Najafgarh
got married too.
Unlike me, she is two years younger to me.
Now let me wear this.
Oh, Mom! I'm telling you, this suits me.
Wow! - Yes.
One second.
Look at its detailing, Mom!
This nuptial chain
was given to me by your paternal grandma.
Really?
It does look ancestral.
It looks as if it was meant for me. Right, Mom?
It suits me so well!
'This nuptial chain'
'connects two fates'
'which can never be separated from each other.'
'Even if this nuptial chain'
'breaks and gets scattered.'
Hold on.
Join me. Smile. - Yes.
Pout.
Mr. Titu.. - Shut up! Stop it.
Don't you call me by that name again!
What's wrong with the family upstairs!
Wait, I'll handle them.
This is too much. Shameless people!
Before you, we had fixed this motor many times.
But the last time, you guys damaged the motor.
So what! Do you expect us to stop having a bath?
Hey, look.. - Hey, you!
Make your son understand. - Ridiculous!
He is talking nonsense. - Hey, what is it?
Hey!
Yes! - 'Yes!'
Okay. - Okay.
What? - What?
Your mom gets up at 2 o'clock in the night to bathe.
Is it the time to have a bath!
Hey, the time..
O' God.
Done?
Congratulations, Mr. Titu.
You got your daughter married secretly, right?
Without taking out any procession!
Tell us, how did you pull this off?
Hey!
You didn't even inform us. - Yes.
This calls for a party! Whom did you guys trap?
Excuse me!
This is my grandma's nuptial chain.
Greetings, ma'am.
Greetings, Mom.
Seriously?
You start doing drama any time!
I mean, you break my flow by doing this.
Seriously! - I miss my mom.
Shush.
And you..
What had I told you?
Say sorry. Only then, will we start the motor.
Come on, say it.
Why should I! - Say it, Son.
I won't say sorry. - Say it. Please.
Say it. Your mom's body is itching.
Say it. - Okay.
CP
I'm sorry.
"Woah.."
See! I made him say sorry.
Good. - Perfect! - Yes.
Hey, Bunty!
Yes?
Switch the motor on.
Jija said sorry.
Hey, just switch it on for 15 minutes.
Come. - It was fun.
It was so much fun, Dad!
Let them wash their sins.
Dad, I never said sorry.
I didn't say sorry to her.
I said sorry to Mr. CP.
Who? Champu?
Mr. Chavanpratap!
I said sorry to him.
My son is a golden boy!
Oh, Dad!
Rascal! - Yes, Dad.
Oh, wow.
The planet Rahu is off my horoscope for a day!
CP!
Sophu!
Sophu, come fast.
O' God!
Has a storm struck again, Dad?
What happened?
Nothing serious.
Nothing to worry about.
I was saying that
the planet Rahu is off my horoscope for a day.
Oh!
Oh my God!
Just one day?
Isn't it too much?
Should I tell you something, CP? - Yes.
The longer you keep taunting me
we'll miss out on the movie that we're going to watch.
Wow!
We're going to watch a movie..
Hey, take it easy.
Relax..
Relax, Sophu.
Calm down. - Mom has been waiting since long.
Don't stop her today.
She is too saturated.
Then I will empty her by taking her to a movie.
That will only dry out mom a little.
Then I will feed her 'Chaat' food at Chandni Chowk.
No, still, she will only dry out a bit.
Fine. You get a great 'Lassi' at Daryaganj.
I'll treat her with it. - No.
Still, she won't get dried out.
Is your mom a tanker, not to be emptied easily!
But I love you.
I'll go and get ready.
You guys continue.
Yes, go.
Make it fast. I'm ready. Okay?
Listen. - Yes?
I was saying that.. - What?
I'll go and get ready as well.
Otherwise, if Rahu changes its mind
we'll regret it, right?
Oh, my love!
Go and get ready.
There isn't any water supply in the bathroom.
"When the bells around the necks of the bullocks"
"chime to the melody of life.."
"Chime to the melody of life.."
"Then the sorrows go really far away"
"and the flowers of happiness smile."
Have mercy, Dad.
Are you going to make the plants drink all the water?
If our foes don't get water, we'll be under suspicion.
Oh, come on, Son. Grains do need water.
Who takes such a big risk for a fistful of rice!
We have vegetables. We can have salads.
Look, I am farming these grains.
Till they get harvested
I'll keep watering them
like a mother. Got it?
I've never seen such a committed farmer till date!
May it be grains or the nation
both are great for me. Got it?
Son, I'm thinking of having a bath again.
Make it fast, Mom.
Or the other family will doubt us.
Okay.
Nanne!
There you go.
Okay.
Greetings, Ma'am.
Hi.
Hello, ma'am.
Bye.
Drink less water.
You're drinking too much.
How are you? - Shut up.
Yes?
Haven't you seen a young man doing a workout before?
I have.
But I'm seeing a donkey exercise for the first time.
Hey! - Hey!
Yes. - 'Yes!'
Dear, enough of this nonsense.
Come to the point.
Hey, why aren't we getting water?
Am I a plumber to know this?
Well, you certainly look like one!
What happened, Son?
Dad, they aren't getting any water supply
and they're blaming us for it!
See, Son!
These goons are ruling over the house.
Where will poor people like us go!
Hey
don't try to hide your misdeeds in the name of poverty.
You have surely done something wrong with the tank.
Oh, hello!
Why will we do so!
Oh, really?
Dad. - Yes.
Do one thing. Take the key and check
our tank. - Hold on, dear.
Yes, Mr. Titu. Have a look.
Shut up! Don't call me that.
Dear, I'll have a look.
Hold on.
Hey, Titu!
Hey, the tank is empty! - What?
No way. There must be a few buckets of water left.
Hold on. Mr. Nanny.
Hey!
Mr. Nanne. - That's better.
It's okay, dear.
This illegal farming done here since years
from where do you get so much of water for it?
It came from our tank, where else would it come from?
Home grown.
Really? Dad.
Yes? - Let's check their tank as well. At least
we'll know for sure. It looks like
a lot of water was used up here.
Manu, show them..
Is it a crime to water plants this days?
It is, if the water is stolen.
Which idiot has stolen water?
Whoever it might be
better confess soon.
Let go, Dad. - Wait a minute.
Look, CP. If you hinting at me
there's no way I'm going to apologise to you. Got it?
And even if you are, I don't care.
You will care soon enough! - Wait, listen to me.
What is it? - Don't argue with such people. Listen.
There's space at the back.
I'll have a borewell dug there.
We'll have a separate source of water. Come on.
I won't spare him. - Okay, come.
Let's go. - Rascal. - Fine, come on.
Bore for soft water, sir.
Even we'll be able to use it then. What say?
Yes, you're right.
You idiot! - Shut up!
Whenever I make a plan to go out
thanks to these people, it never works out.
Really? We ruined your plans, is it, ma'am?
I'm not the one who showers many times everyday, ma'am.
What! Of course
why shouldn't we take a shower?
Why is it bothering you, ma'am?
I'm cursing you.
May your body be ridden with an itch
and may you not find a single drop of water to bathe with.
See you, ma'am. - Bye, ma'am!
Disappear!
Carry on.
Put away your mobile phone at nigth at least, my dear.
Mom. - Yes? - I took selfies wearing a nuptial chain.
Have a look. - Show me.. - Look at this.
And this one.
What?
Why are all these pictures blurred?
Is my camera spoiled? Wait a second.
Let's try taking a selfie. - Okay. - Come on, pout.
This one looks fine.
Could these pictures be blurred
because of her?
Who?
No one actually knows who she is.
No..
"Oh, my beloved."
"Why do you trouble me so?"
"Please stop it now, my love.."
"You are not one"
"to enjoy mischievous laughter."
"What is this arrogance?"
Mom..
'On the chess board of life'
'these people are like those pawns'
'who will never win the game.'
The chit hasn't come yet.
But why didn't the chit come?