Sophia. - Yes?
Who could it be at this time?
Could it be your sister from Nangloi?
Don't be silly!
Why would my sister visit at this odd hour?
Well, she always visits at odd hours.
Listen.. - Go check who it is. - Sophia!
Why don't you go?
What sort of a man are you?
You're the man in this house.
Oh!
Brother Chakku! Why have you come here at this odd hour?
Sister. - Yes.
It's a very tragic story, I swear..
Tell me something.
You're not even married.
Who kicked you out of your house?
What's your tragic story?
The lady who owned the mansion where I was a tenant
asked me the same question every day. - What's that?
She'd ask if I'd like to have some corn.
And I'd always nod my head in refusal.
Many years passed by this way.
Yesterday she asked me again
if I'd like to have some corn.
So, I thought I'd try having some.
So, I agreed.
I'm telling you, she gave me such a
tight slap across my face!
She said that I kept refusing when corn was in season
and now that I agreed, the season is gone.
Because of this incident she threw me out of the house
along with my luggage.
Listen, Chakku!
You can't roast your corn here. - Sister.
Look at your cornball. - What nonsense!
Speak politely to my brother.
Look at him.
She's been looking at your wretched face for years.
'Look at him', he says. Tell me something. - Yes?
The main gate outside is closed.
How did you get in? Tell me.
Yes, Brother. How did you get in?
I jumped over the gate, of course. - You did!
We're born in a family of dacoits.
Our genes are not completely useless, you know.
Sister. - Yes? - Do you remember how much
we'd jump gates as kids?
You and I would jump over gates
by turns. We kept jumping around.
Yes, Brother Chakku. Remember
how we'd jump over the gate
at the grocer's house and steal
groceries from him?
Yes, I remember. - Hey! Speak softly.
Honestly, I feel like making a movie
You know what I'm going to name it?
'Dacoit Sophia'.
Don't you dare
or you'll live to regret it.
Listen to her talk!
God made only one piece and when he did
he must have regretted having made it at all.
Tell me something.
Yes? - Did you fall down when you jumped over the gate?
Yes. - And then did you scream?
Isn't it obvious? If someone falls down
they're bound to scream. - How did you scream?
E-Enough. I got it..
Why don't you go back to
the ancestral mansion in the village?
Brother Chakku..
What happened? Tell us what happened.
Sister. - Yes? - It so happened
last year, on the day of Holi
someone spiked my drink with cannabis.
While I was under its influence
he made me sign on the property papers
and usurped the entire property!
I swear, this is the truth!
I'm so upset about it..
Drink spiked with cannabis.
Influence.
Property.
Papers.
Signatures.
Yes!
Move away, Gulzar!
We're not a married couple.
Sleep properly.
How does one sleep properly?
Want me to courtesy in my sleep?
Keep your arms and legs to yourself
or I'll kick you out of bed.
I wonder when I'll get rid of these imbeciles.
Did you say something?
No, just mumbling in my sleep.
Say it out loud.
Hey..
What morons! They're still sleeping.
Have I started dreaming of CP?
Open your eyes and look!
It's 8 a.m.
Snap out of your dreams and wake up to reality.
Come on, wake up! - 8 a.m.?
Yes, sir.
Why are you in such a rush?
Let's go for a morning walk.
His ancestors never went on walks.
My whole body is aching
and you want me to go for a walk?
The pain will get better only when you walk.
Let's go, come on. Wake up!
Or you'll moan in pain all your life. Let's go.
What a bother!
He talks nonsense even in sleep? - He talks nonsense
all the time.
Cunning fellow, he is.
Thank you
for the compliment.
Do you want me to murder you early morning?
Do you!
Let go of him.. Let go!
Let's go for a walk. - I'm very sleepy.
Wake up!
Your head is infested with lice!
Doesn't your mom pick them out for you?
I'm planning to break the world record
for the most lice living on a human.
So that is how it is.
Very funny. Now move. Move!
Move on now! Get going!
Get up! Move now!
Amazing!
You have got real skill in your hands.
Well, in that case, how about a taste?
He is lying. You got no skill.
Trying to copy us!
I hired you so they hired him.
This guy working at my back..
He has been with us for long.
But while trying to copy me
You and that son of yours
got this guy from a dumpster.
That is not it. - So what? Are you from London?
They brought me from an orphanage.
And it cost us a sum of Rs. 600!
My dear, you came for free.
I spent Rs. 600 for documentation
Listen to me..
This guy here..
Well he has 150..
He has a fleet of 150 buses.
I too have gold mines in Lucknow.
Now that is a straight up lie!
You own nothing!
Listen up. I must tell you something.
I was wondering. When is Holi?
Stop acting like the villain from the movies.
Holi is here. - So what is the plan?
You tell me. - Should we go?
Bholi Punjaban, old bus stop?
Mitthu, the man of great courage.
The cheap food at Roop Basant.
The famous yogurt.
Then let us have some drinks.
I well understand what is going on here.
Do you hear that?
I understand all.
Time to tell the ladies about it.
Go on then.
What are you saying, lad?
I am just joking here. We are just joking.
Just joking.
Well then if it is joke then pray tell us.
For that I think you need to be of a certain age.
We are not kids anymore.
We are feeling like men.
Now listen to me and stop this act.
You both will get it right away. - Yes.
Nanhe, I was saying
that this time for Holi from my family
I invite the Jindal family.
Now both our families will celebrate Holi together.
Done! - Done!
Hey! Darn it
Make it quick! - Slow down! - What are you? A turtle?
I might get hurt even more.
You are not so weak.
I've heard that no matter how much a guy is thrashed
he gets better the very next morning.
I am not that strong. - You are useless.
What are you preparing me for?
You are already panting what use do I have of you?
Come on now! - Look who is talking!
Stop! - Hold on!
Yes. Yes.
Would you look at that?
Tell me. - Hello? - Who is it?
Whom did you call? Madhubala? - I called CP.
Then it is CP answering.
Hi, CP. Listen to me. I am very upset.
What happened? - Bunty. He is bothering me.
What has he done now? What happened?
Last night he sent me so many messages.
What sort of messages?
A lot, I say.
One said that if I refuse him, he will burn down his 150 buses.
Really? - Yes.
Where did she run away?
What is her name? CP? CP?
CP?
And he has begun stopping me for everything.
And it is troublesome.
He said I must not speak to other guys.
So cute.
CP!
I walked a bit slow and she runs off?
CP!
You went up ahead and now you show up behind me?
You are dumb! This path is circular.
If I am to run while you drag yourself here
then I am bound to come back after completing a round.
A scientific explanation?
Very good. - Try saying that with a wink.
That I am a femme fatale.
How does that relate to this?
Just say it. - What is wrong with you?
I cannot do this.
He is shy! My golden boy!
Oh! When you said that I was reminded of my mom.
Do not bow to me thinking of me as your mom! - No.
Then say it. Tell me that I look ever so beautiful.
I do not do all this, CP. - I bind you an oath!
You have to say it. - Well now you did it.
Say it with a wink that you find me hot.
I am now bound in an oath and I must uphold it.
Then say it. - I need to muster courage.
You look so hot. - What was that?
You look so hot.
What? - You look so hot!
Oh my God! - Enough!
Save me! - From whom?
Guys! - CP! - Oh my God?
He is bothering me. - What? - He just touched me.
And he just called me a hottie.
She is just kidding. Just lies.
You there!
You girl looks quite hot.
I don't find her hot.
It was a request.
Accept a request from me too then.
I don't accept men's requests!
'I won't let you two become friends.'
'This, I've sworn to myself."
Are you serious right now?
CP, don't just have fun. Find a solution.
Oh, you just chill.
I'll callback later. I'm on a morning walk.
All right, then. Come..
Why don't you kill me!
Where are you going! Knock me around more, why don't you!
Hey!
What happened?
Why are you laying like a corpse?
What sort of mind games are you playing with me?
What happened?
Did you get thrashed again?
You got those guys to thrash me.
You evil woman..
Hey.. - Get away from me.
Don't touch.
Stay away from me.
Listen.. - I'll never come jogging with your again.
What happened.. - I'll never jog again!
Listen to me.. - You're evil!
Hey..
Where did Jitendra go so early?
He has gone with our enemies.
With whom?
With that CP.
Why?
Your son had saved her from hooligans.
They became friends ever since.
She came early to wake him up for a morning walk.
'Come on..'
She ruined my sleep.
No sleepy boy!
If your sleep was ruined
why didn't you go with them?
I don't want to be a third wheel.
Shut up!
Hey!
Talk with me too.
Why don't you say something worth talking about?
Do I look like a tadpole to you?
Saying that.. What's that about?
It's conversation for French.
Anyway, say what you were about to say.
Don't pressure Guddu too much, okay?
Kidney transplant.
I was saying..
That Jaldiram..
He proposed to celebrate Holi together.
I was there. I heard it too.
I'm talking to her.
I'm also here too though.
I've got criticisms too.
Make a bundle of your criticisms
and stuff it in a pocket.
Well?
Shall we do it?
We can do it. It's a festival.
He might forget enmity
in the joy of celebration.
Okay. Not a bad idea.
You're right.
Mom..
Jitendra!
What happened, boy?
Jitendra..
What happened, boy..
How did you get hurt?
There you go. Your son got thrashed again.
I didn't get thrashed.
I was cornered and thrashed.
What's going on?
You got beat up before.
You come after getting thrashed after going out.
What's going on?
If you can't console me
don't spit poison at me either.
I'd gone for a morning walk with that evil CP.
I know.. Gulzar told me.
But, Mom, CP started screaming all of a sudden.
Really? - As if I abused her.
And what happened next?
Get some popcorns too. You seem to be enjoying it.
No, I am not enjoying it.
The story got exciting.
Who could it be at this time?
What happened next.
On hearing her scream
two strong hockey players felt bad for her.
They used me instead of a ball to play hockey.
Did you tease a girl?
Who do you think I am?
You are my son.. - Who is so frustrated.
I will pull your tongue out.
Am I not your golden boy anymore?
No, dear. You are still my golden boy.
Yes, my golden child. - Yes.
Mom.
Do you really think that I will do such a thing?
Of course not!
CP lied and got you thrashed.
Beating around the bush.
Mom, moreover that wicked girl
baited me with friendship and trapped me.
Your dad is also trapped by the people downstairs.
He is planning to celebrate Holi with them.
What? - I was just thinking that
if they want to celebrate Holi together, then why not?
Why not?
She did such a crime against me.
And you are going to celebrate Holi with them?
After hearing this, should I live or die?
No, dear. That's not the case.
We were just thinking that
we couldn't celebrate Holi for so many years
because of the enmity.
White washed kind of life.
So we thought that we should celebrate it.
What? - No..
Son, I have an idea.
We will celebrate Holi downstairs
while you vent your anger inside the room.
Should I be alone and vent my anger?
Yes. - While you celebrate Holi?
I will leave the house! - No..
Listen, don't think too much.
We have paid the lawyers. Let's seek their advice.
All right.