Hey! What are you saying?
That's a lie. I didn't do any such thing.
You have taken my dad's signatures, certainly.
You're telling a lie after a lie.
I'm telling you, I didn't take any signatures.
What's your problem? What are you talking about?
Why did you do this?
Hey, it's Holi! In our colony..
Radha didn't step out yet.
Nanhu.. - Hey, it's Holi! In our colony.. - Nanhu!
Come. Come over there. Sit there.
Sit.
What have you made of my husband?
Though he's physically in Delhi
mentally, he's playing Holi in Mathura.
Goddess Radhe meets Lord Shyam.
This has never happened before.
Just look at my innocent mom.
Mom, whether it's Kurjya or Delhi
there's fraudulence, everywhere.
Hey!
just because you saw her alone
your entire family is set to attack her?
If you have the guts
talk to me. I will thrash you right here!
Get it stitched, first.
Your pocket is torn.
So, what will you do?
Hey, you.. - Chakral, listen..
Listen. Hold on. - Okay.
Are you an advocate or a wrestler?
Are you going to have wrestling with him?
I can't fight with him.
Let's play Holi in our colony.
It's Holi and in our colony.. - Nanhu, come.
It's Holi.. - Nanhu, come.
He's such a joker.
He seems to have got high, right ma'am?
Ma'am, greetings. - You mean nothing to me!
Do you get that?
Ma'am, happy Holi.
Happy Holi, ma'am.
Control him, ma'am!
Yes, I am doing it, ma'am!
Nanhu, come.. Let's go.
Let's go. Sit.. Stay..
Stay! - Okay.
Stay.
Ma'am!
Keep a few bones in front of him if you want to control him.
Hey!
Dad, you listen to me.
They're saying, we have taken their signatures
on the property documents by cheating them.
Yes, dear, we have. - Yes.
What! - Because I had no other go than that.
So, I thought that's the best option
and I'm proud of it, dear.
What are you proud of?
As if you have seized the land from the neighbouring country
that you're proud about. - Hey, dear!
They're much more dangerous people.
Mom, you should have got it signed by thrashing them
but not by cheating.
Jaichand's mom must be talking in the same way.
I have finalised your name as Ms. Jaichand.
The beautiful murder item.
Hey! - Who are you calling that, ma'am?
Of course, to you, ma'am.
That must be you and your entire family, ma'am.
Not at all, ma'am. I'm still not one, ma'am.
Oh!
Hey, if there's a ranking for the cheaters
your family will stand first. - Right.
Hey, you!
Hey! - Hey!
Ah! - Ah!
Don't call my parents as cheat.
Had your parents been in the shoes of my parents
they would have done exactly the same.
What! - Hey, let's celebrate..
Radha is dancing.. - Nanhu..
Nanhu.. - Dad.. - Nanhu, let's go.
Come.
Nanhu, stay.
Stay!
Just look at his decency.
My parents would never do such a cheat act!
Oh!
Your parents are the ideal parents, after all.
Wow!
Just return our documents at the earliest!
Or else, it can lead to worse.
Let that happen, miss.
You won't get those documents, now, miss.
Hey!
In the colonies of Gokul..
Radha is dancing is the colony.
It's Holi! - Nanhu!
I said, stay!
I will surely take the documents.
I dare you!
Because you won't get those papers for sure.
Because they may be torn, now!
In the colonies of Gokul..
Radha is dancing is the colony.
Hey! - Radha is dancing is the colony.
Nanhu.. - Come, Dad. - Nanhu!
Stay!
Dad, call up the tailor.
I have to get new clothes stitched for the party!
Of course, dear..
We have the tailor ready. Hold on. Hello.
Yes.
Hello, Mr. Cubbon Mirza. How are you? It's me.
Yes.
Yes.. Well, I wanted you
to stitch a nice dress for my darling daughter for Holi.
So, it would be good if you could come
to take her measurements.
Oh! You're in Lucknow?
Then, smile.
So, do this. Send your dear son, all right?
I will be waiting. Of course.
Fine. Thank you.
It's done, dear.
Hey, someone save me..
I have climbed the peak of Himalayas.
Hey, someone save me..
Later, don't complain I have broken the peak.
'I have made'
'just one agreement with life.'
'I will create a rift in your friendship.'
Hey, shameful!
Are you ready?
I won't get ready if you call me so.
Call me by my name.
Honourable gentleman, Gulzar.
Just let me know if you're ready.
I'm ready. - Listen.
When I make the chirping sound
you do whatever I told you.
I will. Don't worry.
Okay.
Sir..
Sir, does this address come here?
Sir, tell me, if this address is over here?
Hey, what's this!
Hey, what's this?
What happened, sir..
Look at this, gentleman.
Someone has dirtied my clothes.
By closer examination, it feels
this is beyond a human's capacity.
That's a crow's doing.
It's a wicked one and a mannerless one.
It does this to everyone who come here for the first time.
Gulgule.
What!
Mr. Gulzar.
Yes, tell me.
Take this scoundrel to the toilet.
I mean, not scoundrel.
Well, take this gentleman
to the washroom.
And help him clean this crow's shit.
Sir, you're such a humble man.
Well, what makes you so gentle?
He's not gentle or something.
We have all mannerless people.
Come on..
Come.. - Hey!
I mean.. - Don't do so much of drama. Just come.
Gentleman.. - Come on. - I didn't call you so gentle..
Greetings! - Who are you?
Okay..
I think she doesn't have
any sign of manners.
Do heck with manners.
So, can you tell me, which forest have you come from!
Well, ma'am, it would be better
if you could mind your behavior.
Well, I am known as
Achkar Mirza.
So, what misdeed did you do that you're so well-known?
Okay.
We seem to have come across some mannerless people.
What nonsense!
Okay.
Well, last night, I got a call
from my dad, Cubbon Mirza
He was saying, there's someone called Jaldiram, sweets vendor.
Hey, mind your words!
Not someone called Jaldiram, the sweets vendor!
Seth Jaldiram, the confectioner.
Okay.
He's saying
as if he sells the golden sweets.
What are you saying?
Your dad is such a humble man.
Where did you lean such a behaviour from?
What's going on? - Mom!
Mom, I'm hungry.
Give me the food, quickly. Please..
Who's he?
He's the tailor.
He looks fancy.
Are you a tailor? - Greetings.
I'm well-known as
Quite different-looking tailor!
Have you got any prior experience of stitching dresses
or are you here at your dad's bidding?
Pardon me.
I am the tailor of The London Royal Family.
Oh! - The dresses of the new prince, princesses
their kids have all been stitched by us.
Interesting!
Come, let's go to a corner. We need to take the measurement.
Go, Dad.
Quiet.. Keep quiet!
Goodness Gracious! Why have you tied me up?
Release me!
We'll release you. It's just a matter of one or two hours!
One or two hours!
How do I believe you? - Do you have an option?
No. - You don't, right?
So, sit quietly and have this Kheer.
Just think that you have come to our house for a feast.
A paying guest!
Go ahead and feed me.
Eat!
Bijli, open it.
Well..
Well, what is he blabbering?
No. I wasn't blabbering.
She reminds me of my mother.
Well, the thing is, we've already adopted a boy.
That useless fellow has extended our family.
In future, all three of them will come
and demand their share in the property.
Then, from where will I give them?
We have only one property. And even that's not available to us.
Ma'am, sir, please don't worry.
My dad owns a lot of property.
And I am the only heir.
Really! - Yes!
Well.. Boy, I mean to say
by the by, think.. Just think!
What if someone kidnaps you!
He will say that he has no connection with me.
Ma'am, now that you are anyway treating me to a feast
had you ordered mutton chops, it would have been nice.
Boy, do you want to have mutton chops?
We don't have mutton chops.
We have tight slaps.
Do you want some?
Come on, take some slaps. Look, my hands are very strong.
You will enjoy it. Take it.
Come on!
Look, we are like family. It's fine to get slapped by me.
Well..
Shall we start? - Yes, please!
I thought, you'll fix an auspicious time first.
Coincidentally, my teacher in London
Lord Franklin Sharara
used to always wait for the auspicious time
before using the scissors and tape.
Nice! Then, go ahead and take the measurement.
Sure.
'I won't take your measurement using the measuring tape.'
'I'll take your measurement in such a way'
'that you can't even imagine!'
What's the matter? Will you take the measurement or not?
Waist - 25. - What!
Correct!
Please turn.
Back
34.
Oh, my God!
What are you!
You told the exact size of my waist and then.. - Shoulder
15.
Really sorry! But who are you? I mean..
You usually wear the 'Sharara' a little low.
Yes, low waist. - 38.
Oh! No.. This can't be real!
I mean, you are so good!
Seeing the way you are telling all the exact measurements
I feel like squeezing your neck!
Neck is.. Beautiful! 7.
Oh, my God! This is magic!
Not magic, it's a simple technique.
In London
I used to take girls' measurement just with my eyes.
That's really nice!
All I want to tell you is.. - Yes?
What do you want to tell me?
That I've seen such a technique for the first time.
Well, sorry to say but
on hearing the word 'tailor', ordinary faces
start coming to our mind.
What are you saying?
Well, even Mr. Kabban is very ordinary looking.
Is he really your dad? - Undoubtedly! Cent percent
he's my dad!
I doubt.
Isn't it less by a few percent?
What are you saying?
What do I do? Mr. Kabban and you don't resemble each other.
Your mom used to keep travelling to London?
Pardon me?
I mean to say, only you travel to London
or even your mom travels once in a while.
No. Dad sent me alone
to London to take up the tailoring course.
Wow! You are educated, too!
Yes! I am an MBA in Tailoring, Stitching and Alterations!
'He's such a cool guy! By God!'
'If I get married to him'
'I'll escape with him to London!'
So, shall we go? - Where to? To London?
No. As of now, let's take the measurement.
Yes, of course!
I'll be right back. Please wait here.
Just don't go anywhere.
I hope Gullu has got the wardrobe key from Mr. Jaldiram.
Titli! - Yes, tell me.
Listen, I want to discuss an urgent matter with you.
Tell me. I'm listening.
Put the mobile down or else, I'll throw it away!
Tell me.
Listen, he is here.
Who? Mr. Amitabh?
No! Mr. Tailor.
Why are you blushing so much for a tailor?
He is not just a tailor, he's a very famous tailor!
You know what! He has stitched buttons
of coats of people in Queen Victoria's Family!
Really! What is his family into?
They are basically from Lucknow.
You know what! His grandfather and great-grandfather
have stitched outfits
of Lord Wajid Ali Shah!
Really! - Yes! - Wow!
What's his name? - What is his name..
Are you serious!
You extracted all his details but you don't know his name!
Well.. I know it! Hold on.
Achkan Mirza!
So
shall we take the remaining measurements?
Is this how you take measurements of decent girls!
I-I didn't even touch you, ma'am!
You, scoundrel! You, useless fellow! You, good-for-nothing!
You, shameless fellow!
If I spot you here again, you'll face dire consquences!
Run away from here! Get out!
Is he really like from a royal family!
Obviously! He is from a royal family.
Wow! Royal family! That means, horse-riding! Then..
CP, if he has a brother, set me up with him, please!
I'm in trouble! By God!
I am trying to set myself up and you want me to set you up!
Fine. You set yourself up with him.
Set me also up later. All right?
Fine. Done! - Give me a high-five!
CP! - Yes? - Hashtag Setting Pose!
Okay, I am going! - Okay, bye.
Mr. Achkan!
Mr. Achkan Mirza!
Where did he go?
I'm in trouble, by God!
Will I ever even marry a good and handsome boy!
So, tell me. What do you want to get stitched?
'Sharara', 'Gharara', 'Achkan'
'Dachkan', 'Pathani', 'Jaipuri'
'Jodhpuri', kurta-salwar
'Lucknowi..' - That's enough. Catch your breath!
I'm not going to open a showroom!
A set of dress for me and a set of dress for my wife.
That's it! - She is your wife, isn't she?
If not, is she your wife!
No. I thought she was your husband!
But I love you!
Whose measurement should I take first?
Tell me.
Ladies first! Take my measurement first.
Ma'am, this tape will be small for your measurement.
Sir, don't you have a tape with which we can measure metre
kilometre or yard?
Because this would be small for her.
Here's what you can do.
You can give me an old dress of yours.
I'll take your measurement from that.
Please check. There could be a dress in your wardrobe.
There could be an old dress in the wardrobe.
The dresses are normally found in the wardrobe.
Take it out from the wardrobe. Open it and check.
There could be a dress in the wardrobe.
Check in your wardrobe.
Some dress could be hiding inside that.
Stop it!
Jaldiram, take out my old 'Sharara' from the wardrobe
and give it to him. - Fine, I'll give it to him.
What is this?
You very well know what it is.
Why just me? Everyone knows what it is.
But why is it here?
Have you never seen the key tied to the drawstring before this?
No. I haven't.
Hey, it's the wardrobe key!
'Well, I got to know where the key is!'