Dad, what kind of times do we live in?
We can't speak without being fined!
You weren't fined for speaking, son.
The fine was levied on speaking rudely. Got it?
And Gulati
must be spending the fine money on wine.
What does it matter how he spends it?
It's ultimately going from our pockets.
But why didn't you keep such an important fact from me?
You never asked and we never got the chance to tell.
That's all. - Mom.
Let's not talk about dad.
He's anyway.. - A fool.
Years ago, we made a terrible mistake
by bringing you home.
Today, I'll strangle you
and atone for it. - Think before you do that.
If I die
my spirit
will haunt you and your family forever.
Let it be, son.
Put him down.
One spirit is causing us enough trouble.
We don't need another one to make it worse.
Nana, do you remember? - Until recently, I was Nanu.
And now I'm Nana. What's happening?
Don't you remember? That's how I addressed you long ago.
Yes, after you grandpa.
The old man couldn't stand the sight of me.
He refused to be let her address me the same way as him.
That's why, I started
addressing you as 'Nanu' later.
Anything..
I've heard rumours.
What rumours. - That Mr. Nanhe married Ms. Bijli
out of greed for her mansion.
You seem to hearing too many rumours these days.
Is it true, Dad?
Nanu, is it true?
You see, it's like this.
I want to reveal a secret today.
I speak from my heart, son.
I've been smothering it for years.
I accept.
Her father had a mansion in Khurjaha.
I married her because I wanted the mansion.
It was only after I got married, did I come to know
that her father was only a tenant there.
He was a pauper.
He made a living out of selling used kites.
That's how it was.
Actually, darling, I was saying..
I was young
and immature.
I made a mistake.
Okay? But today
I love my wife very much.
I swear, I love you.
You know what?
I get drunk and cry when I'm alone.
I can't forgive myself for deceiving you. - Really?
That day you were saying some other lady's name while crying.
You fool!
I'll slap you.
Get out! Get out, I say.
Go to the sweet shop.
I'll slap you so hard..
I'll buy you sweets.
Get out, you moron!
'Dad gave me a wonderful idea while narrating his story.'
'If I get married to CP'
'I'll get this mansion by default.'
But I must say.. - What?
You all can't do without abusing each other.
What nonsense is this?
If you miss arguing so much
how can you expect me to live without arguing with someone?
Yes, she's right.
Ever since she was born here
all she's seen is people argue and fight.
That's true. Even Gulati is
torn between the two families.
So much so that he's posted that stupid constable
of his to watch us.
Seriously, I feel like breaking his face.
There's no need to do that, dear.
Things will spiral out of control. Let it be.
What about the fine he's levied on us for rudeness?
He's just doing his job.
Yes, and you'll pay a heavy price for his dutifulness.
If he keeps fining us at this rate
you'll have to start begging on the streets very soon.
In the name of God, give me some alms!
Hey, Rathi!
Yes, Officer Gulati?
Money is so cute.
Their luck is mute.
The verbal abuse habit
has led us to bankruptcy.
In the name of God
please give me some alms!
Oh, no! Before it comes to that, I'll move to
Brother Zorawar's house. - Yes, do that.
You don't care about me. - Well..
I meant, we'll all move to Brother Zorawar's house.
I don't want to live with robbers.
Remember what happened last time? Tell her.
I remember clearly, even if you don't.
I went to spend summer vacation
and what did Uncle Zorawar do? He had me abducted.
Do you hear that?
Well..
It's a force of habit.
Once he had his own wife abducted.
He's a robber after all.
He gives in to force of habit.
Even we have a bad habit.
We can't live without arguing.
It's like an addiction. We can't get rid of it easily.
Yes, we must find a solution.
What solution?
We have to do something
that will help us keep up our habit
of arguing and also ensure
that we don't have to pay a fine.
I just have to
put my evil mind to use and figure out something.
Go ahead, Gulzar.
Engage him.
Sir.
Yes? - Do you have a couple of minutes?
May I speak to you?
Are you married?
I mean
I asked because you're young and handsome.
No, I'm not. But I want to get married. - To whom?
I mean, you must be having a girlfriend. Some lucky girl.
Yes, there is one.
So, what's the problem?
Don't you earn enough?
Her family is against the alliance.
Got it?
I see.
Same story everywhere.
It happened to me too.
You too?
Yes. - What did you do about it?
There's a wishing temple nearby, I go there.
Everyone's wishes come true over there.
Nearby, is it?
Two minutes down the road.
Walking distance? - Yes, you should go.
Look, I can't go without arguing much longer.
My good manners have
massacred the ill-behaved man within me.
You people are concerned only about yourselves.
What about us?
I'm dying to fight with this
wretched mechanic here.
She's right.
Carbon Peroxide.
What's that? - It's the name of a highly toxic gas.
With your kind permission, may we
argue with each other?
Go ahead, my dear..
You both have argue in that corner
we'll argue here
and the mothers can argue over there.
Yes! - That's right. - Yes!
What's going on here?
What nonsense is this?
I made all that effort to get Rathi
out of the way so that you guys could plan something.
Are we going to argue according to a plan now?
Don't you know we're used to arguing with each other.
She's right.
Unless we don't speak rudely, we can't digest our food.
Yes, I get indigestion.
It gives me a migraine.
I feel nauseated.
You know what? I get
constipated. - Oh! - God, that's awful!
Find a solution.
Yes, you're right. Think of something.
Yes..
I have an idea. - What's that?
How about we abuse each other
but disguise our abusive language
in the garb of politeness.
What do you mean? - Yes!
What does that mean? - Wow!
What a talented boy I have!
He's a smart boy, what a fantastic idea!
What an idea!
Did you understand?
I didn't understand, I clapped just like that.
Suppose I say something. - Okay.
For example..
Sir. - Okay.
That doesn't actually mean I'm addressing you as 'sir.'
What then? - What I'm actually saying
is, 'You moron!'
Wow!
Wow..
Very good.. - Yes.
Sir, what a wonderful idea!
Write it down.. - Okay.
Take notes.
Suppose if we say, 'Mister'.
What would 'Mister' mean? - Yes.
Mister could be the code for 'you fool'!
Yes!
We're going pretty fast.
Mister, you have a smart daughter!
Nice.
I'm praising her. - Note that down.
Amazing..
Suppose we want to tell someone
'I'll slap you', how will we say that?
You should say, 'I'll paint your face red
with the touch of a canoodle.'
What's 'canoodle'?
'Canoodle'
Oh, wow!
Ms. Kujli, you gave an amazing answer.
Sorry, I mean Ms. Bijli.
So, hear me out.
Now, imagine.. - Yes.
That I say that you're the son of a Lion.
Thank you very much..
It means, you're a donkey.
Well, imagine that when I tell you
'Sir, your wide body'
'is a blessing to this earth.'
Do you know what I am saying to you? - What?
That you're a burden on this earth.
Listen. - Yes.
If I ever say that you look very cute
it means that you look horrible.
Very good. - Note it down.
,CPNice. - And if I tell you
that you look handsome.
It means that you look like a buffoon.
Even this is good. - Good, right?
Write down one more..
If I tell you both.. - Yes.
that I love you. - Wow..
What does that mean?
Let it be, you'll feel bad.
CP, I wish to tell you
that I don't know what's happening to me since few days.
But whatever is happening is a sweet feeling.
It's a feeling
which I am feeling since many years.
I never told you.
As I don't know what place I hold in your heart.
You may think I am a horrible person.
But, you're not at fault for this.
It's been a common thing since my childhood.
Hey, no.
Will you kill the girl now?
You should talk in a way which touches her heart.
She should say, 'Brother-in-law'
'I love you.'
'Take me with you, brother-in-law.'
'Somewhere far away.'
'We'll do something about it.'
CP, I love you so much.
You'd think how did he fall in love with me suddenly?
But it didn't happen suddenly, CP.
I've been in love with you for a year now.
'I am just feeling it now.'
'I feel it by the bed folds'
'as though somebody has broken my bones'
by taking turns.
"Oh, my dear, why do you trouble me so?"
"Let it be, stop it now."
"All these antics don't suit you at all."
"Why do you do all this?"
"Oh, my dear, why do you trouble me so?"
"Let it be, stop it now."
Your fate lost to my fate.
Hey, you're up so soon? What is going on?
I am fine. I don't think you'll be fine.
What happened?
Your situation is like a beggar.
You stole half litre of milk.
What are you saying?
What will you have if I steal the whole thing?
Alcohol?
I have a soft corner for you in my heart.
Soft corner? You heartless person!
You both are more heartless than us.
Yes. - No, ma'am.
You both are more heartless and shameless than us.
No.. You both are rude..
Sir..
He called you a donkey thrice.
Yes, sir..
I said four times.
He called you horrible four times.
'Sir, your wide body'
'is a blessing to this earth.'
Rhinoceros, you're a burden on this earth.
You're the heartbeat of the youth.
He's calling you a Buffalo's tail.
Is it?
You're the heartbeat of the everyone.
Don't go so far.
Or I'd say you're the bird from the heaven.
Wow..
Oh, wow! They are so cordial to each other.
Seeing their love for each other
my emotions are flowing through my eyes.
They love each other very much.