What did you say?
That you saw Ms. Sophia dance for free?
Is she Michael Jackson?
You have no idea, my boy.
There was a time when she used to be
even better dancer than Michael Jackson.
She'd start dancing at the drop of a hat. Ask her.
No.. - Oh, yes!
Forget all this and find a way to get rid of these snakes.
Slimy creatures. - What's to think?
Come on! We have our golden boy.
Dad.. - Listen, son.
Do you have an idea?
Tell us if you do.
No, Dad. My mind isn't
functioning well right now. I can't think straight.
What are you saying, son?
Our son has become useless. Jhallo.
Although, I have no expectations but..
Do you have any ideas? Just asking. - I do.
Tell me!
Say it, will you? - I have only one idea as of now.
Let's run away. Run Lola, run. - Lola?
But where will Lola run to, Mom?
Do as I say.
You and Mr. Nanhe
leave for Switzerland. - What?
Switzerland.
Listen to me.
Has your uncle built a castle in Switzerland for us?
You and your nonsensical ideas.
Shut up or I'll slap you.
Uncle.
I just hope our idea succeeds.
If we can get these people to leave..
In Connaught Place..
We'll buy your Uncle a bungalow in Chandni Chowk.
What will he do with a bungalow? He's unmarried.
Will he rear livestock in it?
I will breed crocodiles
lions and cheetahs. Do you mind?
Just buy me a bungalow in Chandni Chowk
Brother-in-law.
We'll talk about that later.
Listen. We're pretending to be snakes
while they are snakes.
Tomorrow morning, we must find out
if we've managed to scare them or not. Okay?
We'll discuss the rest later.
Go get some fresh air.
Fresh air. Why don't you serve some?
Do you like it?
Want some more?
No. You insult me in front of everyone.
That's all you ever do for me. So be it.
He wants a bungalow at Chandni Chowk.
'Don't touch, CP. They're still snake hatchlings.'
Wake up, Jeetendra! You sleepyhead!
Wake up, will you?
It's morning already. Come on!
So what?
So.. Let's go for a jog.
The sun is up. Good morning!
J-Jogging? - Yes.
Will you jog or slither?
What do you mean?
Let it crawl.
I mean, let it go.
All the energy in my body
is over. The doctor has strictly advised against
going for a jog.
Jeetendra! You're so fussy!
Such a pretty girl is
inviting you for a jog and you are refusing. What is this?
Don't go.
What if she stings you while jogging?
You'll be done for.
What are you whispering?
Who is whispering?
Snakes hiss and whisper.
That's not our responsibility.
CP.. I beg of you, for God's sake
please carry on.
I'll join you in another life.
I mean, some other day.
Oh! Well.. All right then.
Think about it, I won't ask again. You know me.
One hundred percent sure. I promise.
Okay, then. See you..
Oh! What happened? Why are you slithering?
I mean shivering? Is everything all right?
The weather is so cold in Delhi.
That's why, we're shivering.
'The arrow hits the bull's eye.'
'Mr. Nanhe's stupid hatchlings.'
Okay, bye!
Bye, go now. Leave.
'As of now, only your fear is real.'
'Very soon'
'the snakes will be real too.'
Ms. Bijli!
Good catch, isn't it?
You're making a nice snake.
I think
you meant to say 'snacks'.
By the way
what brings you here, Ms. Sophia?
I came to sting, Ms. Bijli. - What!
I'm not here to dance.
I need something, that's why I'm here.
W-What..
W-What do you need, Ms. Sophia?
Well.. You still have that..
The mouse trap you borrowed from us, remember?
Y-Yes, I do.
W-Why do you ask?
It's been a long time we had mice.
What!
I mean, there are too many mice
in the house, so I need the mouse trap.
I see.
I'll get it right now.
I'll go with you.
No, Ms. Sophia..
Please wait here.
I'll be back in no time, okay?
I'll be right back, Ms. Sophia.
Ms. Sophia.
Ms. Sophia, where are you?
Ms. Sophia.
I'm right here! - Oh!
Sorry, I got thirsty.
What happened?
No problem.
Snake! It's a snake..
I mean, there's a snake in my plants.
A snake. - What? - Yes, over there.
Hold on.. Wait a minute..
Hold on.
This is a fake one.
Beware of fake ones.
Real snakes have identifiable traits.
Really? - Yes. - Listen.
What are these identifiable traits, please tell me.
Look, it's a secret.
I'm telling you as a neighbour.
Thank you. - The most obvious trait
of shape-shifting snakes is..
What's this?
They keep flicking their tongues.
Jaldiram.. What are the other traits of snakes?
Also..
You know how else to recognise a shape-shifter?
No.. - Another very obvious trait is that
when he sits in front of someone he says.. - What?
Give me a head massage, Nanhe.
What did I say just now? - No, I..
Why just a head massage? My friend..
I'll give you a full body massage.
Do you know? - What?
They lose their temper over trivial things.
Really? - Yes.
How come? - What did you just say?
I promised a full body massage and not just a head massage.
Are you out of your mind?
Do you even know
how to do a body massage?
Stay within your limits!
Listen, Jerry.. - What did you say?
Well, Jaldiram, I was just asking
what we should do if the shape-shifting snake gets angry.
If a shape-shifting snake gets angry
then you should start dancing in front of them. - I see.
And if you don't dance
then the snake
can destroy you.
Thank you, pal. Thank you for the guidance.
Thank God you told me.
I have many poisonous snakes
living around me.
Who was that aimed at? - No..
It definitely wasn't aimed at you.
I swear, it wasn't.
Dance!
I already am.
Move your hips. Sway them side to side.
Listen, ever since I've come
in contact with snakes
my hips have become immovable.
Move it, I don't care.
I can't!
Then move the building! - The building is crumbling
to bits, pal.
Shake whatever you can.
I have nothing left to shake, brother.
'I was saying'
'that you and your family are'
'threatened by shape-shifting snakes.'
'I will perform a ritual.'
'If you succeed in that ritual'
'then we can conquer the snakes!'
I object, My Lord!
I have trained to fight cases against human beings.
If you must fight a case with snakes
you need to find a cobra or a python.
I'm sorry, sir
but you great grandfather ate out of our hands.
So did your grandfather.
Then we fed his father
and now him.
You guys have been fleecing us
since generations.
You owe us some allegiance.
Isn't it high time you returned part of the favour at least?
Look, as far as favours are concerned
my great grandfather owed favours
to Nawab Wajid Ali Shah.
They were thick friends.
Then he must not have owed a favour.
What do you mean?
We'll come to know
only when we dig into the pages of history.
Why dig up the past unnecessarily?
If we start digging, the tale will carry long and far.
Not too far, son.
But it will definitely go up to this fellow
Wajid Ali Shah.
Forget all that.
There's no need to dig up history.
Just ask straight questions. Look.
If we have to live around snakes
out of compulsion
what should we do?
Well.. You should
just pray to God.
Oh, God!
Thank you for sending us on earth as humans.
Just bless us with a better life in the next lifetime.
Okay.. What!
What are you saying?
You're asking us to write a prayer
on our suicide notes?
Dad..
Get rid of him and get a good lawyer. - Yes. - Excuse me!
Am I a bad lawyer? - Not at all.
You're the best lawyer in the universe!
Thank you. - You've been dragging this case
for God knows how many years.
My son is right! He is my golden boy.
You've praised him enough. Now come to the point.
How does one live with shape-shifting snakes?
How does one pass time around snakes?
Okay.
Look.
I have
an idea that can
solve your problem. - Really? - Yes.
Will you say it out loud?
Or do you need an invitation?
Yes, finish eating.
Done? - Yes. - Now, speak.
Well..
In order to give them an apt reply
all of you should also become snakes. - What?
What?
Really?
Then we'll have to get them bitten by a snake. - Oh!
I'll slap you now. What nonsense are you talking?
Are you out of your mind? He's out of his mind.
Ma'am, I've heard this in stories.
A lady like you was bitten by a snake.
And she turned into a snake too.
Wow!
You can try getting bitten by one, ma'am.
It'll be easier to prove.
No.. Not at all.
Do you want Jhallo to die? What do you want?
Give some other idea.
Get this guy to shut up, first.
Hey..
The idea is the same.
You people just have to
pretend to be shape-shifting snakes. Acting, you know?
I see.. - Okay?
You will have to convince your neighbours
that you're more dangerous snakes than them.
They'll get scared of you
and vacate the house immediately.
Oh!
This means, this will involve acting.
Get these packed.
What's wrong? - Nothing.. Actually, Jhallo..
What I was saying is that..
I mean, before we mess with real snakes
let's think again.
He's right.
What if they're so poisonous
that we die immediately on being stung. - What!
You guys get scared so easily!
Had this happened in my village, Khurja
the snakes would have been captured
and disposed off somewhere.
Mom, forget about Khurja.
We're in Delhi, focus on what we have to do now.
What's there to do?
Challenge them to a battle. - Hey!
Fighter cat.
Don't you think you're being too bold?
Stop praising me and call out to the enemy.
Should I?
Go ahead.
I will do it.
Hey, Jaldi!
Jaldi, come out!
Hey, you! Come out!
Look, you've awakened dormant snakes.
I'll eat you to a pudding.
I mean, I'll beat you to a pulp. Okay?
What a timid snake you are.
As if someone milked out all your venom.
I'm a person, not a cow that someone would milk me.
Dad, let me do it. - Okay.
Hey, shape-shifting snake!
Come out!
Let us decide once for all who stays in this house
you or us.
Yes! My son is right.
Ms. Sophia!
Hey, Ms. Sophia!
Come outside, will you?
Come on!
Let's have a face off, Ms. Sophia.
Let's find out which of us is more poisonous.
I don't think these people are real snakes.
I think they're water snakes, the harmless ones.