My friends and I used to find food here for the pigs. I miss those days.
-We stole beans too, do you remember? -Sure! And cucumbers, too.
We stole a huge one!
In the field over there.
We'd always pass by that farm and grab a few cucumbers.
We picked up food for the pigs and ourselves.
So much fun!
This is the highest rock around.
Di, you once told me you'd never regret being Hmong
even though it's so hard.
When we met, I was shocked that a little girl like you
understood the danger that a young woman must face.
I could see your childhood slipping away.
Does time pass more quickly in the mountains of North Vietnam?
Do the Hmong people live a more intense life than we do?
Your hermit-like existence has been so protected for centuries...
It all began as such a mystery to me.
We grew up in different cultures,
didn't even speak the same language
but miraculously we became friends.
Sisters even.
I filmed for three years, always scared of what would eventually happen:
That I would lose you.
I have dropped it... Here it is!
Give it to me.
There is another one.
Two more!
One is on the top.
Just take the big ones.
They are all big.
Like this one?
We will cook it at home.
It looks like real flowers.
Happy New Year!
This is the peach tree!
Dear Ancestors, this meal is for you.
Let's drink now!
How many did you drink, Diem? 1...2...3...
Seven glasses!
Let's catch the bride!
I will play the role of the bride's sister.
Get off now.
Go away!
What is this game?
We are pretending to kidnap the bride, for Lunar New Year.
How dare you kidnap my sister in front of me?
I beg your forgiveness.
I will never forgive you!
Bye my child. Be careful and have a happy life.
We will visit you and your new family soon.
It was eating our eggs.
Really? I can't believe it.
I was collecting eggs and I caught it in the act.
Your dad just caught a huge snake.
Where is it?
He swapped it for a bottle of booze.
Only one bottle for a snake?
What a bad deal!
My bro could sell it for $5.
All the clothes are dyed, right?
I should get a hair cut on the way.
You don't need a cut.
Where is my helmet?
No idea.
Pick up the squashes or the pig will eat them.
When the men are drunk they may try to kidnap you.
I will run away.
Anyway you are not Hmong so they cannot force you.
You should let Nay kidnap you. Give it a try.
Just a try?
No, it would be a real bride kidnapping.
Run away if you don't like him.
Or if he has a small one!
You better check the size first.
Just one glass, come on!
Sorry, my wife is not allowed to drink.
She is a Protestant.
He must pay a penalty!
Now you are married you can't flirt with other girls.
You have to make do with your wife.
Let's drink!
Mum and dad, I wrote these few lines
To tell you I am suffering
Life is a struggle
When you are so poor
No clothes and nothing to eat
But I will keep on studying
I am now far away
Far from all the ones I love
My heart is cold and I feel lost
I miss you every second of every day
I thought nobody was home. Why is my wife as drunk as a pig?
Why did you close the door?
-It is open. -The other door?
Yeah.
I will wake up to light the fire...
I must go to the People's Committee.
You are too drunk, just go to the field.
What are you talking about?
You are so pissed and still talk to me like shit.
Stop messing around or you will finish the work alone.
Aim for the adults, too!
Look at the camera, guys!
Behave yourselves!
My poor hear!
I have an announcement to make:
From next week I will teach you history, not civics.
-Shall we start the class now? -Yes.
Everybody, take out your books.
A strong mind is crucial to overcoming dangers and avoiding temptations.
Good, sit down.
Let's consider the case of this boy who started to go out,
drink beer and smoke.
Then, he began skipping class and couldn't enter high school.
He was depressed so he started to smoke pot.
-Do you know what pot is? -No.
No? Are you sure?
And do you know what opium is?
Yes.
-Do your families grow poppies? -No.
Sure?
Raise your hand if you grow poppies.
We do but I won't raise my hand.
Why? Because it is illegal, right?
The police may catch you.
But if you have any don't tell anyone and give me a bit!
-You don't want to be rich? -We do!
Making money is good but you mustn't break the Law.
What is the point of being rich if you end up in jail?
Right! Let's move on to the next case...
Our indigo is bigger than last year, mom.
You are just taking two bundles?
Don't play with the lime I will use it again.
I make indigo for my daughters, Di and La, as they don't know how to do it.
-La is married but she can't do it herself? -No, I must do it for her.
Can I swap one of our chickens for this white one?
-Which one do you want to swap? -The red one.
You are stupid! Give them a white one.
Our chicken is much bigger.
Trading your rooster for this tiny thing!
So young it won't lay eggs.
It isn't that young.
-What's your name? -Guess.
-Come on... -I am shy.
-Tell me. -You first.
-I told you my name... -I forgot.
So?
My name is Pang.
Last time you gave me another name!
Tell me your name first.
-My name is Pao. -Pao?
-What is your name now? -My name is Di.
-Hello, La. -Hi, Diem.
Hey! You came to visit grandma.
Don't hug her so tight, you cunt.
My sister La left school in 2015.
She was in high school when she got married?
Yes, she was in her first year.
She was kidnapped by her husband during the New Year celebration.
That evening, my mother was drunk.
Then she realised she hadn't seen La for a while.
She asked me where she was.
I thought she had returned to her boarding school.
After feeding the pig I saw mum crying on the phone
and the neighbours told me my sister had been kidnapped.
I was speechless.
She wanted to have fun but it was the end of her childhood.
-Her husband trapped her? -Yes.
I won't be that naive.
What if it happens to you?
-I don't fear that! -You should.
How can I work on such a steep hill?
This variety of rice is quite short.
We won't have enough rice to eat.
If you don't work you won't have rice.
Do you think your kids will take care of you? They hate you!
When you are drunk just sleep and leave them alone.
You are insulting and blaming us for everything.
But you are always too wasted to work.
This man has no dignity.
Even our son-in-law hates him.
Nobody respects him but he still thinks he is the king.
-He never lights the fire, never feeds the pigs... -Can't you talk about something else?
Stop arguing, guys!
So when she fucks someone else I shouldn't say anything?
I know you are cheating on me.
How many people are in your class today?
37.
Where is your red scarf?
What is his name?
Sang?
-How do you spell it? -With an S.
-You found the answer? -Yes.
Who skipped class yesterday?
Four people.
You first.
I was in hospital.
-You asked for permission? -Yes.
Who else didn't come yesterday?
-Which village do you live in? -So Chua, Madam.
So?
I had to look after the buffaloes.
If you miss school for that your parents will get a $3 fine.
What about you?
I was helping my grandma harvesting her corn field.
I can't accept this excuse.
You have an important exam this year.
You must be focused.
You must study first and help your parents later.
-It is almost done. -Let's have a break, my back hurts.
Where can we rest? There is mud everywhere.
I will need the whole bamboo.
It will catch fire!
What kind of girl would you like to be?
What kind of girl?
I don't know.
No idea.
What about your studies?
I want to study a lot and make plenty of money!
And then I will have many lovers.
Ugh!
Then when you die you must carry their dicks forever!
I am okay with that.
-My glass is still full. -I don't care.
Drink it up and stop cheating.
Let's go around the table and everyone must sing.
-I don't know how to sing. -Then you drink.
-Can I sing in Vietnamese? -No, just in Hmong.
Your turn now.
Wait a second, her turn first.
I thought we were a team.
No, you sing or you drink!
You have four more to drink!
-Sing or drink! -You know I can't sing.
"I would like to marry you but you treat me like a piece of shit"
-Is it okay? -Yes. Let it go, Diem.
-It is quite heavy. -I told you it is okay.
It is not too heavy, the sticks are too long.
This New Year is no fun at all.
My ex is flirting with other girls, it makes me jealous.
You have thrown your clothes everywhere after partying, Di.
I am cleaning now.
Hang it up or the embroidery will get moldy.
It has been drying for a few days.
You took my necklace?
What?
I saw you!
-The one you gave me? -Yes.
I gave it to my boyfriend.
It is silver, get it back or I will kill you!
Who do you think you are?
You are stupid!
Get it back or you are dead.
Hang up this jacket
and stop acting like a princess.
This guy makes you so horny.
-No, he doesn't. -I will kick your ass.
How do you know?
-He brought you back home. -Who fucking told you that?
I came back with a different guy.
My boyfriend dumped me for another girl. Are you happy now?
This guy is a fucking rat.
I have never hit on him.
Everybody saw you.
And you trust them?
This is only gossip.
I will sell you for cheap.
That's what you want?
Have a sip... It is hot.
All men are bastards.
Nowadays, girls are looking for rich men with nice cars and big houses...
That is absolutely right.
My boyfriend was not only poor but also unfaithful...
Now I don't love him anymore.
Let me tell you.
For the National Women's Day...
he took another girl out.
One day I couldn't go out so he invited another girl.
Then I read on Facebook that he was in love with another girl.
Once I saw a girl on his bike.
And when I posted his picture on my page a girl said he was her lover.
But now I am free!
I can hit on whoever I want.
-What if Di wants to get back with him? -I would beat her to death.
Check this out, Khu.
He wants to get back with me, Diem!
What should I say?
Just say you don't want him back.
I read you his message but turn off the camera.
-Why?
"I don't know what to say. I am sorry I dumped you...
"Please forgive me and take me back."
The best thing you can do is not reply.
What are you writing, stupid?
I won't answer. My mother hates him anyway.
Let me see.
I am mad at him.
Is it Sunday already?
In a week, I am back at school.
Lunar New Year went so quickly.
Because we are having fun.
Have fun but don't cry if you get kidnapped.
New Year is the season of bride kidnapping
and it is allowed.
Mum means that
if I am kidnapped I must cope on my own.
-You would get married? -No!
Only a stupid guy would kidnap me.
If she gets married who will feed the pig while I get drunk?
I would cry and hold her back.
She is too young.
-What is a good age? -Eighteen.
But I am afraid she doesn't listen to me.
My legs are too short.
Let me get down!
Help me, Diem!
He is just a friend. You want to see his message?
You deleted the hot ones.
Now boys just use their phones...
How long have you been waiting here? -Hours!
-Where have you been all this time? -It wasn't that long.
Don't follow us.
What did you say?
I am a decent man.
Before marriage, I would ask her parents. I won't kidnap her.
Alright.
Di?
Where are you, Di? Come back immediately.
What?
You are in the valley?
Close to Hang Da market?
Are you happy now? Come back immediately!
What are you doing there?
What?
Where exactly?
Don't listen to him. Get off his motorbike right now.
-Do you know who took Di? -Yes.
Give me his number.
-Do you know where he lives? -Yes.
I want his number to be sure he won't sell her.
-Don't worry, he is a friend of mine. -These kids are terrible!
-You really know his family? -Yes, they invited me several times.
-Is he the eldest son? -No, the youngest.
-His parents are still alive? -Yes, they are.
Are they rich?
Of course not, they are Hmong!
-What is the boy's name? -Vang.
-He didn't answer your calls? -No.
No need to call back, I will do it later.
If you know his family I feel reassured.
She is evil. I wanna smack her face.
You harass her non stop, you shouldn't be surprised.
You insult her all day long so she wants to take revenge.
Let's take your daughter back.
No.
I could but I won't do that, it is their issue.
As parents, we mustn't get involved.
Don't cry, Diem.
Di got what she deserves.
Don't worry about Di.
Nobody forced her to follow this guy.
Di just behaved like her mother did.
My wife wasn't allowed to go out after 4pm
but she sneaked out and I kidnapped her in a flash!
Go to sleep.
I can't sleep. I am too sad.
My husband is drunk all day.
Nobody will support me now.
Both La and Di are gone.
I am on my own now.
When I go out drinking nobody will cook or feed the pigs for me.
Nothing to do but cry.
Di?
We are always arguing
but since you have gone I can't stop crying.
The house is so quiet now.
Tie your belt tight, don't let him touch you.
I am alone at home, your dad was drunk and insulted me all day.
Yesterday we were arguing about your clothes and now you are gone!
Keep your clothes while you sleep.
You must say you want to sleep in his sister's bed.
Or just sit by the fireplace and try to stay awake.
Okay?
Are you about to go to sleep?
Can you hear me, Di?
Di?
Buffalo.
Where are you?
They are here, come back quickly.
-What do you want? -You know something is happening...
-I have nothing to say. -We need to talk, please help me.
Alright let's talk then...
Why are you giving me tobacco?
Why should I accept it?
Your daughter is now part of my family.
No, she is not.
-We should discuss it. -There is nothing to talk about.
I want to ask you about the dowry and the ceremony fees
then I will take your request to my family.
There is nothing wrong.
Drink it!
It is not a commitment.
Let's ask for $2000 for the dowry
$300 of presents for Di's relatives
10kg of chicken, 100kg of pork and 20 litres of wine.
Come here, stupid.
How much are you asking for?
I am asking for money for our relatives; two envelopes...
-Ask for three at least. -Three envelopes?
Okay, what else?
-100kg of pork and... -10kg of chicken.
-30 litres of wine and 10kg of chicken? -No, only 20 litres of wine.
Come back here.
Be careful, don't rush it.
Try to be clear. Don't fuck up like you did for La's wedding.
Let's all have a drink.
I have only got two daughters and the eldest got married very young.
She is now 17 and already pregnant with her second child.
Really?
She was married at Di's age and I cried a lot.
How old is Di now?
14 and a half.
My daughter was married at this age.
My daughter also got married at 14 and I accepted it.
It is always sad when a daughter leaves home.
My second daughter was sold in China, I never heard from her again.
Everybody has a drink?
I don't know if the kids will actually get married but thanks for the food anyway.
We will soon be one family. I am sure there are no obstacles.
I also want you to know
that our family is Catholic.
-Don't worry about that. -It is no big deal but...
Let's drink to that and thanks again for the food.
It is not important but I wanted to let you know...
I have accepted your wine but...
you must bring the kids here tomorrow to hear what they want to do.
We aren't against this marriage but it must be the kids' decision.
The final decision belongs to the kids.
If our daughter refuses this marriage, please be understanding.
Be careful on your way back home.
Everything will be okay.
When they are married you can visit your daughter at our place.
Just ask for the house of the Black Hmong family called Thao.
Alright.
We would be honoured to welcome you.
If my daughter accepts the marriage I will visit you for sure.
His father drinks even more than yours but you still want to marry him?
I don't want to marry him.
His father is a real alcoholic.
Are you enjoying it?
Stop it mum!
One day there and you know it all.
Yeah.
You really picked the perfect guy!
No.
He will tell he loves you
and that he will do anything for you.
But you mustn't trust him.
-How do you know? -It is always the same.
Never marry a sweet talking guy!
He will beat you up just like your father does.
He will be an alcoholic and make your life miserable.
Use your head instead of acting like a bitch.
Do whatever you want but don't blame me afterwards.
If your life is miserable you must cope with it.
I know.
Is anybody here?
Here you are.
-Can we come in? -Please, come in.
Why are you sad? Give me a smile!
Come here, Di.
Smile, for God's sake.
Let's talk about your feelings now.
Vang, come here son. We need to know what is in your hearts.
If you want to get married I wish you the best.
If you don't, I would feel sad beyond words.
If you want to get married just share a glass of wine.
Then you can live together.
But if you decide to break up you must have kind words, Di!
You knew the consequences when you flirted with Vang.
Now, you must face the music.
It is time to take a decision.
Follow us to your new home.
Just one glass and your union is sealed.
Make up your mind.
You want a punch?
Do whatever you want, I don't care.
Leave me alone, M. Thao!
You think this is funny?
-I am serious. -Really? I will kick your ass.
You broke her camera!
Look, it is broken.
Go away, M. Thao!
Get lost!
Ask him to wait a few years. You are too young and want to study.
If he can't wait he should marry someone else.
I want to break up, not postpone the marriage.
Up to you.
Everybody likes him but I don't.
No one can chose for you.
I don't want to marry him now, or ever.
It is your decision.
Pour Vang a glass and explain your choice.
Send them away mum or I will hide at school.
-Can we have lunch first? -No.
Di!
Alright, I am leaving.
Finish your bowls, kids.
Your mother is drunk.
She will accept the marriage and your life will be done.
Trust me.
Let's go back home, your teachers are lying.
Hiding here makes our family lose face.
She will follow you when the guy's family have gone.
They are already gone.
They are waiting just here.
No, they are gone.
Here they are!
I won't let them take Di.
Wait for the head teacher!
Wait here or I will call the police.
I don't care about the police, this is my daughter.
Calm down.
Leave my daughter alone.
I guess I did something wrong.
Oh really?
I am still a child, I don't know why I kidnapped her.
It will prove to be a great move if she agrees to marry me
but if she refuses I would feel terrible because...
It is difficult to explain.
I would be blessed to have a wife like her.
I don't know what my future will be if she refuses...
I quit school last year because my family is poor.
I am lost. I don't know how it will end.
Time will decide.
I think Di is in love with a guy called Su.
Last night she wrote sweet words to him.
I was sitting next to her and could read everything.
It drove me mad.
I was so angry I punched a wall.
I hurt my hand.
I lost control.
Come here, Vang.
Excuse me.
Can you speak Vietnamese, madam?
Not much.
As representatives of the school
and of the People's Committee,
we were informed of Di's marriage proposal.
So we decided to come and meet both families.
We hope you understand our position.
Sorry if you find this intrusive
but Di is under the legal age.
Same for the boy.
The Vietnamese law doesn't make any distinction between ethnic groups:
we are all equal in the eyes of the law.
When I was at his place
I told Vang I will go back home today and stay there.
-You told him? -Yes.
Di accepted my proposal.
She said she would live with you?
I didn't say that, teacher.
I can show you the message she sent me on Facebook.
She may have sent you a nice message
but we are talking about your future, not flirting online.
I just said I would meet him once to see what would happen...
You are about to break the law.
Of course you are free to see and love each other.
We will never judge you for that.
I will tell you something, young man.
Your love affair is none of our business
but there is a legal age for marriage.
You learnt about these issues at school, right?
In a relationship, you must have the full consent of your partner.
If you don't respect her she will feel oppressed.
Feelings must be sincere.
You can't force her to love you.
We call that abuse.
Your parents should not allow it.
You are underage, your parents will be punished if you get married.
Di wants to study until she reaches the legal age of marriage.
You taught me about the legal age of marriage.
Girls must be 18 to get married.
I want to continue my studies anyway.
We are not rejecting you, Vang
but if you get married now you will have legal issues.
Your child won't get a birth certificate...
We must go back to school.
We will let you find a solution by yourselves.
Beat it, man.
I won't go anywhere with you.
Even if they get married Di must still live here to go to school.
Vang should go back home for now.
I am not opposed to this marriage but I don't want to make a rash decision.
After Di completes her studies they can decide if they have a future together.
As a mother I feel useless at this point.
Of course they have a future together.
Things went so far, you should now consider them a couple.
Let's drink to that.
I don't know what to do.
Did Vang drink the "break up" wine?
No, his family told him to refuse if he is determined to marry me.
I always call him by his family name to drive him mad.
Why does mum like him?
His family name? So rude!
He is good-looking.
-Will you come to my house? -No.
-You don't like me anymore? -Sure I like you.
I feel like kidnapping a girl.
I will kidnap Diem, okay?
Yes, kidnap Diem to marry Co!
Can I kidnap you for my son?
-I caught you. -No, no.
Alright, I kidnap Mao.
Come on daddy! I need a new mother.
Tonight Diem will sleep with Co and Di with Vang, okay?
Are you fucking crazy, dad?
So your brother will sleep with Vang and you sleep with Diem.
Shut up, you drunkard!
Stop talking bullshit, I hate you.
Whatever! I still love you, my daughter.
Come on, let's go.
I am leaving but you must act like an adult, Di.
You can sleep with Diem but you mustn't run away.
Whatever you decide you must provide a bed for Vang.
You are a woman, not a man.
Remember that.
You had better not run away.
Di, will you sleep with Vang or Diem?
Do you hate me, Diem?
Yes.
I knew it.
I saw your face today...
Why do you hate me?
Because you thought it was a game
and you fell in a terrible trap.
You never think about the consequences.
I didn't think he was serious.
-Now it is serious? -Really serious.
I would rather die than marry him.
I am stupid.
So stupid.
Hopeless.
I am immature.
I am totally reckless.
I must study, then find a job.
So I can take mum to places she has never been.
She has never left our village.
She has no idea how different life is outside of here.
I want to give her everything she deserves.
If my brother gets on his motorbike I will kill him.
Stupid kid.
Is he on the bike?
I told you not to get on his bike.
-Do you feel better today? -Yes.
-How did it end up? -I refused to follow him.
-Did he stay at your place overnight? -Yes.
-Why? -He refused to leave.
I couldn't force him to go.
But he can't stay at your place forever!
Hiding at school was a wise choice.
I suggested it to your classmate Khu but she didn't dare do it.
She said running away would make her parents lose face.
The guy's family would say she wasn't properly educated.
They follow archaic traditions.
Women must serve their husband's family:
cooking, cleaning, feeding the animals...
And they are so miserable they can't even buy medicine for their kids.
You are too young to handle this.
But he refuses to drink the "break up" wine.
-He didn't drink it yesterday? -I drank it but he didn't.
Why did he change his mind?
I don't know why.
I told him he had no chance with me
but he wouldn't leave my house.
This morning I finally send him away
but he said he will come back with his parents.
You must be tactful.
Say you are not ready yet and that you feel bad about it.
Say it breaks your heart not to have a future with him.
If you are not delicate they will say you are pretentious.
I haven't said anything rude until now.
This is how you should speak:
"I am not the one for you and you deserve to be happy with someone else.
"Please don't be sad.
"We can be friends
"but I will never be your wife."
He will be devastated, you must have sympathy for him.
He is sincere so you should respect him.
Don't trust your teachers.
They want you to finish school but they don't care about your future.
You never listen to me. Who is the mother, you or me?
When you are a mother you will understand.
-Are you on their side? -Just do whatever you want.
It is always my fault!
I won't talk to you anymore.
You made us lose face!
I will run away, the house will be empty when they arrive.
You are responsible for this mess
but you don't make any effort to solve it.
You sat on his bike, nobody forced you.
Yes, that's it! Get lost.
Here you are.
How are you, Miss?
Come here, Di.
Bring her here, Vang.
Tell us what's on your mind.
Don't think too much, just follow us.
If something bothers you then tell us.
Vang is great and your family is fine but I refuse to get married.
Vang would be a good husband.
Yes, if that's what you want to hear
but I don't want to get married.
I am not ready for it, no matter the boy.
If you'd rather keep on studying just say it.
Parents shouldn't interfere, it is not our business.
I won't come with you!
I don't want to go.
Leave her alone.
Fuck off!
Let it be, Diem.
I don't love him! Is that clear enough?
Take it easy.
Don't be scared, your new life is beginning.
Diem, help me!
Do something!
If you want to end it all you must share the "break up" wine.
Let's go inside to end it properly.
I won't go with you even though you are a good man.
I didn't want to be so direct but I have no choice:
I don't love you.
We should both find someone who makes us happy.
I don't want to be committed to you in any way.
I wish I could be a child again!
Let's go.