[Natasha] I have heard that you'll be fighting
[Natasha] elections from Sumerpur.
Are you prepared?
[Music playing]
All your problems will be Tanya's responsibility.
[Vomits]
[Clicks]
Fashion show?
People from foreign countries will come, buy the jewellery,
you all will make money
and all your problems will be solved.
Money?
[Music playing]
Ms. Aruna, why is everyone being so sentimental?
Politicians had only made promises to them so far.
You're the first one who gave them jobs.
Tanya, you actually won the elections.
Tanya Thakur, who is only 25 years old...
India has chosen the next prime minister.
And it's 25-year-old Tanya Thakur.
[Title Montage]
[Aruna] Now, I would like to invite
the new Prime Minister of the country.
Respected Ms. Thakur.
[Applauding]
What? My name is not that.
What she means, is respected miss.
Now go.
[Music playing]
[Tanya] Okay.
[Clicks]
Please repeat after me.
"I do swear in the name of God"
"that I will bear true faith"
"and allegiance to the Constitution of India."
Dude!
I didn't understand anything.
This sounds like a software agreement form.
How do I just, like, click on agree?
[Chuckles]
"I will faithfully"
"and conscientiously discharge my duties..."
That is, as in, the past tense of sing.
Right?
"I... without fear or"
"affection or..."
[Clock ticking]
"...ill-will, I will do the right thing."
Amazeful! We're done!
[Applauding]
[Music playing]
[Siren blaring]
[Gun cocks]
[Gunshots]
Thank you.
That's Mr. Subramaniyam.
Our External Affair minister.
Oh! Is the news about Kangana and Hrithik true?
Excuse me.
External Affairs, right?
Come on, now. Come.
Grandma.
[Tanya] Who is that?
Sachin Ghatge.
Opposition party leader.
[Priyamvada] Aam Insaan Party.
Mango is my favorite fruit.
Hottie alert.
Katal.com.
Dude, he's so not your type.
I'm talking about the one who's behind him.
[Both] Oh!
He's coming.
[Clears throat]
- I got this. - I look good.
Madam Prime Minister, how are you?
Good! Hi, you?
I saw your pledge this morning.
Sorry, what did you see?
The oath-taking ceremony.
Oh! Oh! Right. [Chuckles]
By the way, what people say about you is wrong.
I know, right?
You are more clueless than what people think of you.
[Laughs]
[Chuckles]
- Sorry? - You'll have to be sorry.
You're playing with the country.
But not for long.
Next week
when the prime ministers of our neighbouring countries will come
for the South-Asian Summit... then you...
will not be able to survive there.
And you know why?
Because I won't let you stay there.
Anyway, enjoy your drinks and the attention.
World-class.
Did I just get, like, roasted for no reason?
[Meera] Just forget him, babe.
"I am not in love. It is merely horror."
"My horror can be a treasure to you."
"Love is merely a madness."
Shakespeare.
The one I recited was of Mr. Ghalib.
Two languages
but same thought.
So, are they talking or are we, through them?
Coffee?
[Music playing]
Wow, babe! You look smoking!
Like a s****y secretary.
Guys! Look!
O-M-G, babe!
You look hot!
You like it?
- Yo! - Yo!
"Tell me what you want. What you really, really want!"
"I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!"
"I want to really, really..."
- Good morning. - Hi!
Good morning.
Ma'am, I am Ashok Pandey.
I'm your principal secretary.
Don't worry, Mr. Ashok. You don't have to stress out.
Meera and Ricky are here. They can be my secretaries.
Hi!
Ma'am, which secretaries?
Sorry?
Ma'am, I'm your principal secretary.
Apart from me, you have another principal secretary.
Additional secretary to the principal secretary.
Plus five joint secretaries, and of course,
every joint secretary will have one deputy secretary.
Plus six under-secretaries. So think and tell me.
Which secretaries are you talking about?
Very, very personal secretaries.
The ones who always stay with me.
Everywhere.
At all times.
Very well, ma'am. That will be done.
Cool!
Ma'am, I'm supposed to brief you about the South-Asian Summit
happening next Monday.
South-Asian Summit.
Okay.
Sum it up, Mr. Ashok.
[Laughs]
- Jokey. - Jokey.
Ma'am, this is a serious matter. It is not a joke.
Prime ministers of Pakistan, Bangladesh
and Sri Lanka will be coming to India.
And all these countries will discuss the issues in the countries.
What do you mean?
Outstanding, ma'am.
Thank you.
- You really are amazing. - Thank you.
But at least answer my question.
Ma'am, the meaning of it is outstanding.
They'll be discussing outstanding issues.
Like trade, terrorism, Kashmir.
- Kashmir! - You must have heard of it.
India and Pakistan have been fighting over Kashmir since 1947.
So, actually, who has Kashmir now?
Both the countries.
Both have it, yet they are fighting.
Please understand. Imagine you have a pair of sandals.
Stilettos, Mr. Ashok. Sandals are so yesterday.
Stilettos. Fine, stilettos.
So, imagine you two have just one pair of stilettos.
And each of you have one shoe of the pair.
So, won't you fight for the other shoe?
It will be called a pair only when you have the other.
[Laughs]
Ma'am, shall we come to the main point?
Ma'am, South-Asian Summit's main motive is peace treaty.
All the countries have agreed to sign it
except our neighbouring countries.
Okay, Mr. Ashok. Tell me. Why aren't they signing?
The first condition in the treaty is that
no country can sponsor terrorism to their neighbouring countries.
Wait.
[Scoffs]
F-Y-I, their country's fashion is so good.
So amazing!
Why don't they sponsor that? Like, you know
palazzos and haram pants and tunics.
Don't worry, Mr. Ashok.
I will explain to them not to sponsor terrorism.
Fashion Jihad is so much better.
Outstanding.
You mean that?
[Laughs]
[All] BN!
[Music playing]
What is it that I see in your eyes?
Seems to me more than the print I have read in my life.
Ah! It is rightly said.
You find the true meaning of poems when you fall in love.
Excuse me?
Love. That is what I said in Urdu.
What love? Huh?
Already?
Are you serious?
Riyaz, we met two weeks ago.
Two weeks for me is like a lifetime.
We meet every day and talk on the phone every evening.
If we fall short of words, we repeat conversations.
What is it, if not love?
This is not called love.
This is just called hanging out, Riyaz.
Please take it a little easy.
Good morning, ma'am.
Look.
[Chuckles]
It's pointless, ma'am.
My wife is very conservative.
The front page, Ashok.
'Can this rookie politician get the peace treaty signed?'
[Chuckles]
These peace talks must fail anyhow, Ashok.
Ma'am, these talks always fail.
The day this summit is over
I want headlines.
'Is Tanya Thakur the world's worst prime minister'
'and not just India's?'
Poor girl is trying so hard that we needn't do anything.
I can already imagine the cover.
'Worst politician in the history of the world.'
'Tanya.'
[Music playing]
[Ashok] Yes, Rajan. I'll tell the PM right away.
Ma'am.
A sleeper cell of terrorists was caught in Delhi.
[Bell dings]
That's where terrorists are?
Kind of, yes.
All the others have died but we found one alive.
[Both] O-M-G!
Amaze-balls!
Can we meet him?
Do you mean you two?
We both and Ricky.
Ma'am, he's a terrorist.
It's not Taj Mahal that you want to see.
Mr. Ashok, please!
I have never seen a live terrorist.
Ma'am, he is not Salman Khan whom you want to see live.
He's a terrorist, ma'am.
Mr. Ashok, how will I solve the problem of terrorism
if I don't see one?
- It's the question of the country. - Yeah!
Please organize a visit.
Yes, ma'am.
[Giggling]
[Music playing]
[Gate opens]
Mr. Ashok, where is he?
[Ashok] He is right here.
This guy?
[Laughs] That's it?
Where is the rest of him?
What is your name, Mr. Terrorist?
Azgar Bashir Carrim Dawood.
Sorry, Mr. Terrorist. We don't know Arabic.
This is my name.
Azgar Bashir Carrim Dawood.
Everyone in school must call you ABCD, right?
They would call me Chote's life. Chote's life.
So, in school, when, in essays you were asked
what you wanted to be when you grew up
what would you answer?
- Terrorist? - I could never go to school.
Poor thing!
Literally, he has hair like Shahrukh from "DDLJ".
But instead of Kajol, he has a gun.
[Sighs]
And poor guy will be hanged in a few days too.
You guys, he's too young to die.
It's okay. It's okay. Please step out.
Really?
Yes.
You will be hanged.
That's the last promotion in your job.
No. I meant you were saying that my hair is like Shahrukh's.
Of course, and even your dimples.
Actually, I used to have a big poster of Shahrukh in my room.
He is my mom's favorite hero.
She wanted to name me Shahrukh.
[Crying]
It's true, ma'am.
Ma'am, I want to go to my mom.
Ma'am, send me back to my country.
[Sniffs]
[Music playing]
Mr. Terrorist.
Before asking me for help, you will have to promise me
that you'll never harm India.
Ma'am, I also love India.
The Matar Paneer here.
Shahrukh Khan and Virat Kohli...
- Okay. - Virat Kohli.
I can't promise you.
But I will consider it.
But first let me take a selfie.
This is our country's Prime Minister Tanya Thakur.
She is seen taking a selfie with the terrorist
Azgar Bashir Carrim Dawood, ABCD of the neighbouring country.
Does it suit a prime minister to take selfies with the enemy?
Tell us, Tanya Thakur.
Look, your selfie. One little selfie
can become the reason for you to lose power.
Then don't complain to me.
[Theme music playing] me.