Call the mic man!
Suresh, remove sir's mic.
- Sir, shall I come in? - Come in.
- Greetings, sir. - Greetings.
- You were awesome, sir! - Really?
My hands are swollen because of the incessant clapping.
Have those two come as well?
Yes, sir. The sister as well.
- All is well? - First class!
- Very good. - But, sir,
why did they use old currency notes in the play?
Ask him. Ask him!
I told him, sir. He said, "It works!"
- It does work. - It does not, man!
Props should be given a lot of importance in a play.
- It keeps the focus right. - Keep it real in the next show.
Yes, sir.
I meant the fake "real" ones.
Yes, understood, sir.
Sir...
Give me Kalidasa's role in the next play.
I've memorised all the lines. Check this out.
It's just like that monsoon day, Mallika.
It's raining incessantly, just like then.
It is the same me...
and the same you.
If you play Kalidasa's role,
what will I do? Play Mallika?
Get lost!
Sir!
All of them want to become actors.
Then who will be in the audience?
Who are you?
I'm a priest.
- What are you doing here? - Preparing for the ceremony.
There's a prayer ritual happening in this house today.
For some old guy who is going to die.
By the way, who are you?
I'm the younger son of the old man who is going to die.
Gangaram must have sent you.
No, Guddan did.
Then what's all this? Don't you remember the mantras?
Nobody can understand my pain.
My mother wants me
to take over my uncle's snack empire.
That, too, both the stalls.
But I'm not interested,
so I keep reading up different recipes.
You know how competitive the market is these days.
But, after this, comes my passion.
- Is it? - Yes.
- What is your passion? - Gravity.
Newton.
- Newton? - Apple.
- Apple? - Physics!
I've always been fond of physics.
My father was a priest.
He said that there's no scope for science in India,
so he pushed me into this. But how much can a man remember?
Should I make fries, body diagrams or pray for your father's life?
Just focus on Dad for now, okay?
Come on.
A little higher, son.
Very good. Very good.
He looks pretty young.
- That's not him. - Then who is he?
This is his elder son. My elder brother.
- Where can I meet your father? - You'll meet him soon.
There's still time for the ceremony.
First, make some snacks.
Listen... Hey! Chotke!
Chotke, I got a call from Gangaram this morning.
- Why did you fight with him? - It wasn't me. It was...
What did we do wrong?
He is making us sign the wrong papers, and we should keep quiet?
- So, you'll behave this way? - Dad...
Are you a thug?
Is this how you'll carry the family name?
- Hello. - Hello.
Indian today? Very nice.
And where did you find this clown?
I'm not a clown. My name is Chitrakoot.
- Dad, he's the priest. - Yes.
Him? He seems like...
he was born just a few seconds ago.
How will he save me?
Why won't I save you? Won't I lose money otherwise?
I accept payment only post-survival.
If you don't see results, you'll get your cash back.
So there's no difference between a person and a phone?
You're offering cash back guarantees?
Good Lord!
Just take me. I'm feeling dizzy... Mahipal, my son, I've had enough.
- I can't take it anymore. - Please sit down.
Look, this is a very difficult ritual.
Savitri had performed this for Satyavan.
And defeated Yama, the god of death, with the power of her prayers.
What does all that mean?
Don't ask such questions, son. Focus on the prayer.
Keep it aside.
- Note down the procedure. - You write it down.
Just tell us. It's all right.
On the last second of the fourth quarter of the day,
when the sun will be at an eight-degree angle from Earth,
you'll have to drink water from the Ganges, sir.
Find a cow that is facing the east
and collect its dung in a brass plate.
What if half the cow's face is turned eastwards
and the other is facing elsewhere? Will that work?
- Madam... - I'm just asking.
if half of sir's body works and the other half is paralysed,
will that work?
Hello? Yes, boss.
Boss, it's taking more time here.
Boss, your voice isn't clear.
Hello, what are you saying, boss?
What, boss? What trucker?
Mother...
What are you doing?
Hey, chant louder or I'll thrash you!
Wow!
His boss is cursing his dead mother, and he's calmly listening to it.
Dad, you'll get me fired.
Dad, he gives him money too. He has to listen to his cusses.
Is it?
Those whose fathers refuse to give money,
that's how they are cursed everywhere in the world.
Absolutely.
- Shut up, Bandicoot! - It's Chitrakoot.
Whatever, just shut up!
What do you mean, young master? Haven't I ever given you money?
Did I ever remind you about all the money you lost
over the rural homestay you started?
Did I mention how you passed high school?
Enough, Dad!
Dad, not fair. Failure is a part of success.
Don't force me to talk. You're not self-made either.
Everybody knows that you inherited a lot of wealth from our ancestors.
Brother, why would you say that?
I was 17 when I started fending for myself.
You were also born.
I was born, but that's not called fending for yourself.
It's called child marriage.
If not anything, you've learnt to mock from your father.
Dad, why are you doing this? Brother will be angry.
- Where are you going? - Eating my head. Let me go.
- He's not a bull to get angry! - It makes no difference to him!
You don't take my side.
- I was joking. - This was no joke!
You're always taunting me, humiliating me.
If you take one more step, you'll see me dead.
Boss...
I told you that my father is going to die.
Yes, I'll return as soon as he dies.
Shut up now!
I made a big mistake by treating his polio.
Dad, please keep quiet for a while.
Whatever.
Boss, please don't do this. Look, I'm loyal to you.
Boss, how many times have I...
Boss, I'll be ruined. Please don't do this.
Hello, boss? Hello? Hello?
Wonderful, my Lord! Your miracles are remarkable.
The father is alive, but Mr. Shishupal here
is praying for his death all day and night.
Dad, I'm not the only one praying! Everybody is!
Babloo feeds you jalebis
even though he knows you're diabetic.
Sir, please sit.
- Shishupal... daughter... - Brother!
Can I get some water?
I'll get it.
- Make it an orange juice. - Sure, I will.
Why did you stop, mister?
What's the hurry, sir?
This ritual will continue for the next three days.
What?
Sir, take these flowers.
What do you think of yourself? I'm not afraid of you.
I'm warning you, if I... Hello? Hello!
Damn it!
- Who was it? - Nobody.
- Will you tell me? - I'm telling you, it was nobody.
This is the problem. You don't tell me anything.
Chotke shares everything with my sister.
- Then why did you marry me? - What do I tell you?
What all should I tell you? It isn't just one problem!
The plot we purchased on loan,
the one whose developer fled with the money.
- The Rs. 30-lakh plot? - Yes.
His goons are harassing me daily.
Threatening me over the phone to withdraw my FIR.
And Gangaram...
I find him to be a con of the first order.
Look, breaking limbs won't solve any problem.
You should stop with this.
Are you on Gangaram's side?
Oh, God!
I'm on your side.
Use your brains.
How could you hit Munna in front of Guddan?
How would I feel if someone hits you in my presence?
Now, forget all this.
Take Dad's help. Tell him you need money to start a new business.
How much money should I ask for?
I've asked for so much money all my life that...
it feels embarrassing now.
Whenever I see Chotke, I feel like...
I'm a beggar. I have no respect.
A lot of times, I feel like...
I should curse Chotke...
so that he loses his job, that's all.
I've lost my job, and we're spending a lot sitting here.
Dad will get rid of us without giving us any money.
And then what will be left? Just us and the kids.
I'm always worried about you
that you got stuck with the wrong man.
I don't have a job now...
and I wasn't your first choice either.
I could say the same to you.
Listen...
Why don't you start the rural homestay near the pond again?
Prove to Dad and Chotke how wrong they were.
I loved the rural homestay idea.
After the wedding, Badke got two tickets to Darjeeling as dowry.
But they should've got hotel bookings instead,
because they couldn't find a place to stay due to the peak season.
However, they found a pot-smoking white man
who told Badke all about homestays.
When Badke came back from the romance-filled honeymoon,
he decided to start a homestay.
So, they evicted the squatters living on an old piece of land,
and set up a board that said,
"Rural homestay with organic living."
Then he posted it online.
To fulfil his brother's dream, that very day
Chotke and Guddan
handed over the power of attorney to him.
Where are you lost?
Rural homestay.
I put my heart into it.
I wasn't lucky then,
so it didn't work.
But I am telling you...
this time around, it'll surely work.
Once we find a solution to the land issue,
I can quit working for good.
Now you're on track.
Talk to that lawyer... What's his name?
- Who? Dilip? - Yes.
Speak with him.
You're right, I'll do that.
By the way, I'm always right.
I love you, Manju.
Anju!
"My Anju"... I said "my Anju."
Guddan, sorry about last night.
I don't know what happened to your brothers.
My brother had too much to drink. He'd not have done so otherwise.
What are you saying?
Last night, Dad and I escaped by a whisker.
Why did they have to turn into Bruce Lee?
Why did you have to break the pot?
Brother told you not to. I saw that.
Hey... what else could I have done?
Get thrashed by them?
Yes.
Can't you take some blows for me?
Scoot.
You know, in Peru,
when a man falls for a woman...
he has to take a beating from his future mother-in-law.
Like a character test.
Is it?
In my town, when a man falls for a woman,
he kidnaps her.
Is it?
In my town, they shoot people dead.
Even the boyfriend?
Boyfriend?
You said so, in front of everyone.
Boyfriend? I said that to save you.
Are you crazy?
Then why didn't you save your brothers?
My brothers are strong.
- Do you want to drink lemonade? - Lemonade?
Yes.
The lemonade stall is over there. Why are you staring at me?
Kids, come here!
Time for a drinks break.
Come on, have some almond milk.
Very good. Well done. You have lined up perfectly.
Do you know what I heard outside today?
What?
- Do you like going to fairs? - What's a fair?
It's like EsselWorld.
I like it a lot.
It's no ordinary fair.
Even the annual Dussehra fair pales in comparison.
They have sumo bouts in it.
Hey... Babloo!
- Yes, sir? - Come here, son.
Take the kids outside for a while.
Too much of chaos around. I can't take it anymore.
- Okay, sir. - Go on.
I was thinking that since I'm taking the kids out anyway,
I'll show Rinki around town as well.
She hasn't seen the city.
Wow!
Ever since your sister has arrived, you don't care about me at all.
And Bandicoot has left his recording playing here
and is preparing snacks in the kitchen.
My life is coming to an end and nobody cares.
No, sir. That's not true. I'll stay back.
No, not at all! Please, milord!
Too much pretence isn't good.
Hey, Bandicoot! Should I rot here for the next four hours?
No, enjoy! You will live long.
- Come, let's go. - The fan!
Yes.
Oh, Lord...
Hey, Bandicoot!
Why do I get the feeling that
your hymns are repeating every 15 minutes?
Have you recorded it wrong?
- Here's your curd. - And here is the fritter.
- Where's the dried mango powder? - Mango powder?
- Didn't you bring your spice mix? - That's a special spice mix.
What if you put up a stall tomorrow?
I'll have more competition.
What are you saying, Chitrakoot? Why will I start a food stall?
I want to start a coaching institute.
I have a different dream.
And my dream is to be in the media. Add the spice now.
And I want to work at NASA. Pass me the coriander powder.
Where's the coriander powder?
Is this it?
No, sister. That's not coriander.
But you wouldn't know.
You cook using a microwave.
Here.
Yes, he has bought me all the machines.
He loves me a lot.
Really? He loves you so much that eating microwaved food
has forced one son to wear glasses and the other has a growing belly.
At least he's better than your son, Dabloo.
He can't even spell his own name.
A teacher's son who can't spell his own name!
Really? Have you forgotten about yourself?
You failed twice in childhood.
Not twice, just once!
- I helped you pass. - I couldn't study because of you.
- Because of me? - You wouldn't let me study.
- I didn't let you study? - You'd make me turn off the lights.
- What a lie! - I wanted to stay awake and study.
- No, I never did that. - I failed only once.
Come, let's enjoy this song.
My heart wondered where you are
It's a vibrant day Where are you?
Call out to me with love Wherever you are
Unbelievable!
At this age, when sir has one leg in the grave
and the other in the garden, he's feeling romantic.
Look, I can't open it.
But what could sir have possibly written?
Something like... "Dear Kadambari.
"I miss you a lot and today was the limit.
"I'd organised a ritual for my long life.
"I was heartbroken.
"Badke left the ritual midway.
"I feel your absence. I miss you.
"Had you been here, we'd have made out."
Eating too much gourd gives me wrong thoughts.
LETTER