Chaddha sir, towel.
What are you doing, T. P.? There's one inside.
Sir, I wanted to discuss about the decision on downsizing.
T.P., didn't I tell you
that there has been no decision taken for the sales staff?
Yes, sir. But I will get an immunity, right?
After all, I'm assistant branch manager.
Assistant to the branch manager.
Sir, swear on your mother and tell me..
is my job in danger?
Maybe.
The head office has ordered to reduce the staff.
It's not like I enjoy firing people from their jobs.
For three years, I have had the same housemaid
who steals milk from my house.
She emptied my wallet yesterday.
She didn't even spare me some money to buy petrol.
I had to take an autorickshaw.
But I won't fire her from the job.
No. Jagdeep Chaddha is not that kind of a boss.
Yes.
A game is being played here.
All the secrets about downsizing
are being discussed in the pantry
over a cup of tea.
And I have no idea about these conspiracies
because I get tea infused with carom seeds from home.
But we Mishras don't give up so easily.
Wow!
What nonsense is this?
I thought even we will discuss things over a nice cuppa tea
just like Modi ji.
Go on. Have some. It's free tea.
Now, tell me.
What's the hot news from the head office?
The announcement about downsizing is affecting employee morale.
People are tense.
That is why I, Jagdeep Chaddha, came up with a strategy.
We will celebrate someone's birthday today
to cheer the staff up.
Pammi, announce it.
Whose birthday should we celebrate? Okay?
Tell me the name, Pammi.
Sir, it's no one's birthday today.
What about next week or later?
Next is Sarla ji's birthday.
In that case, Sarla ji's birthday will be celebrated grandly.
But, sir, it falls after a month and a half.
So what? ‐ Will you still celebrate it?
Pammi, is the date more important than the staff's morale?
Think about it.
Try to smile sometimes for a change, Pammi.
Why do you always look so lifeless?
Like a ghost.
'Don't go to that mansion.'
'It is haunted by a living corpse of a secretary.'
Card. ‐ Done.
What colour should we use for the decoration?
There is yellow, maroon.
There is green.
Blue.. there is blue. ‐ What about pink?
Is Sarla ji promiscuous
that we have to use such a provocative colour for her?
We had a lot of discussion over green and blue.
I suggested we'll decide by flipping a coin
but Anjali said she doesn't gamble.
I wanted to ask Anjali
if we could choose the pink colour
that appears on the cheek after she gets slapped.
Okay. Let's choose blue.
No. Let's choose pink.
Don't blame me later.
You wanna wear party hats? Get hold of these kitty‐cats!
Anjali‐na Jolie.
What are we getting for snacks?
I was thinking about edible gum resin sweet.
No. It's so boring.
We will get a cake from Royal Sweets.
But that has eggs. ‐ So what?
Sarla ji is vegetarian.
Everything can't be about Sarla ji!
But the party is for Sarla ji.. ‐ Red velvet. Three kilos.
Red velvet. Do it, Pammi. Do it.
The situation in the country is changing.
It's the dawn of a new era.
In such a situation, if we form an alliance
our unity will be very powerful.
You have heard
that a downsizing is on the cards, right?
So, tell me.
Are you ready to form an alliance with me?
Have I been bitten by a rabid dog
to refuse you?
There are only a few happy moments in life.
I mean, everything that T. P. does makes me furious.
There is a score that needs settling.
But I couldn't come up with an idea
that wouldn't land me in jail.
And then..
T.P. gift‐wrapped his ass and came to me.
One more thing.
No one should learn about this alliance.
What does he mean by 'alliance'?
An agreement to save each other's jobs.
What are you guys going to do?
First of all, we are going to choose a symbol for our party
and then have rallies in the pantry.
We will demolish the accounting department
and build a temple there.
And.. ‐ Amit. Amit.
I want to talk to you about something important.
About paper. It's urgent.
What happened?
How dare you?
You told Pammi about our alliance!
T.P., try to understand. I am playing a bigger game.
Who knows everything about everyone in this office?
It's the receptionist. ‐ Correct.
That is why I am using Pammi to get all the information
about who goes in and out of this place
and all the gossip happening in the office. Got it?
Go on, Amit. Carry on. Good.
I am going to talk a lot to Pammi. Do not disturb.
Good. ‐ Okay?
Good. Good.
This is Sarla ji's birthday card.
Everyone has written their messages in it.
It's okay. I mean..
They're funny.
But my message must make an impression as I am the boss.
After reading that, all the employees who are sad
should cheer up.
Suppose I write something like this..
'Happy birthday, Sarla ji.'
'We respect you a lot.'
'Your dearest, Jagdeep.'
One would commit suicide after reading that message.
Do you see how big a responsibility I have to shoulder?
Do you see that?
What do you think they are talking about?
Only one way to find out.
Got it.
You won't believe what I heard.
What did you hear? I am ready to believe everything.
They are very angry. ‐ I thought so.
So, what did your wife pack for lunch?
Paneer korma.
Looks quite tasty.
I have no complaints.
Madhukar and Rinchin want to get Anjali fired.
That's good. It'll benefit us.
T.P., use your brains. See the bigger game!
If Madhukar from the HR department
and Rinchin from the accounting department
are talking to each other, what does that mean?
Bloody buggers! They have also formed an alliance!
Correct.
Does she add onion to the korma?
Yes.
And I am the one who chops it.
Bloody demons!
How dare they form an alliance against us?
T.P., listen to me carefully.
We need to assume
that everyone in this office is forming alliances against us.
But why against us?
Because we are better than these pests, T. P.
They fear us.
Sarla ji to Santa Singh.
'Every night in my dream, monkeys play football.'
Santa Singh.
'Take sleeping pills starting tonight.'
Sarla ji.
'I will start from tomorrow.'
'Tonight is the final match.'
Doesn't make the cut? Even I thought so.
It is best between Santa Singh and Banta Singh.
Why ruin the joke by dragging Sarla ji into it?
I need to think of something else.
May I come in, sir? ‐ Come in, Rinchin.
Chu.. Rinchinchu. Hello, mister. How do you do?
I am the master of punchlines.
Sir, there is an orphanage in my area.
I am collecting money for the kids residing there.
Okay, donation. Give it to me.
This office is full of misers.
Rs. 20, Rs. 50..
I'll donate Rs. 2,000, Rinchin.
Yes. Write it down, Rinchin. ‐ Thank you, sir.
With your donation, little Deepak will be able to go to school.
He will pray for you.
You know what I always say.
Kids are the ones who grow up to become adults in the future.
And I am quite interested in little kids.
Amit. ‐ Yes, Pammi.
Can you spare two minutes for me?
Yes, tell me. What happened?
It is a serious matter. Something big is going to happen.
Jagdeep is having crazy thoughts about various people.
What are you saying?
I can't talk about it here.
Come with me.
Amit, you won't betray me, will you?
I hope you won't tell anyone.
Never.
Let's go. ‐ Yes.
Very good, my tiger.
This entire scene is Pammi's idea.
Amazing, right?
I mean.. this girl is so amazing.
She is just..
She is great.
Sar‐la.
Get your papa.
So that I can thank him.
No! I need to do something else. Come in.
Yes, sir? ‐ Yes, T. P.
What do you know about Sarla ji?
Great decision, sir. Great decision.
No one will miss her if you fire her.
What? No. Her job is safe, T. P.
Give me some dirt on her.
Name, Sarla Bansal. Husband, Vinod Bansal.
He owns a company called Tent and Events.
She works in sales at Wilkins Chawla..
I know that, T.P. Give me some gossip.
They had eloped, sir. ‐ Is it?
Was Sarla's father against it?
No, sir. Vinod's wife was against it.
Later they breached their marital union.
What? ‐ Divorce.
T.P., I'm trying for a punchline.
What joke will I crack on a divorce?
Go and do your work.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, sir. ‐ Go, go, go.
This is comedy, not a joke.
In half an hour, there is going to be
an important meeting in the warehouse.
We need to be there.
Yes, but we need a place to hide.
I have an idea. Come.
This is my idea.
I'll hide in this box so that I can listen
to everyone's conversation in the warehouse.
Wow! Too good, T. P. Too good.
As a kid, I used to play hide and seek.
We would start playing in the morning.
And when I used to hide
no one could find me till the evening.
I would hide and laugh at them
thinking that they are all fools.
Sir, Sarla ji is coming.
I'm done.
Sapan, this time I'm going to get a standing ovation.
I have come up with a great punchline.
Come on. Everybody. Saleem bhai, come.
Sarla ji is coming. Rinchin, come.
Will you be able to breathe?
Don't worry about that.
Just tape the box. Hail the alliance.
Surprise!
Oh! Surprise!
No, Sarla ji. This surprise is for you.
Sarla ji, this is your surprise birthday party. ‐ Yes.
One, two..
"Happy birthday to you"
"Elephant farts on you poo poo"
Amit is a nice guy.
He will learn something about life if he works under my guidance.
Right now, I am toying with him.
I am testing him.
I am a hunter.
And very soon, Amit will fall in my trap.
You were stunned, Sarla ji.
Yes. It was a surprise after all. ‐ Surprise?
You were shocked.
Perhaps you were wondering if we had gone mad.
Yes, I did wonder about that.
Have the cake, Sarla ji. It's very tasty.
No, sir. It has eggs in it. ‐ Have a little at least.
Nothing will happen. ‐ No, no, no.
Have it. ‐ No, no, no.
Okay. Your choice.
I mean, if I was a pure vegetarian like you
I would have committed suicide.
Is it your birthday? ‐ Yeah.
Shall I tell Jagdeep about it? ‐ No.
Is he inside the box?
Now, go and do your bit.
Hello, Chaddha sir.
What? Are you firing someone?
Someone who is very close to you. Who is it?
Is it the assistant branch manager or assistant to the..
Sir, very good party.
Everyone is enjoying, right?
I am a very party‐animal type of a personality, basically.
Sir, I heard that you promised Rs. 2,000 to Rinchin.
I'm impressed, sir.
Amit, what is money?
It can't buy you happiness.
Do you know what makes you happy?
You get it from happiness.
Note my words.
And donate more than Rs. 100 the next time.
Sir, I can't afford to.
Rs. 100 for a week means Rs. 5,000 for a year.
I don't know how much it will be for you.
Where is Rinchin?
Sir, it is clearly written in the form, 'per week'.
You're taking the money back? ‐ No, I am not taking it back.
And you.
You people collect money by showing us innocent children's pictures.
Sir, don't ruin poor Deepak's future.
Why will I ruin it? He might fail in the exams
or get expelled from the school.
How many marks did he score in the last exam?
Sir, 93 percent. ‐ Oh, no!
He'll definitely complete his graduation.
Sarla ji.
Happy surprise birthday. ‐ Thank you.
Read it out aloud, Sarla ji.
So that everyone gets to know whose joke is the best.
Read it.
'Sarla ji, happy birthday.'
'The good news is that you can't grow old'
'because even time stops in this office.'
Saleem bhai wrote this.
It was okay.
I mean, it was not good enough to say 'LOL'.
'Sarla ji, you are the best.'
'Happy birthday and lots of love.'
'Pammi.'
What rubbish.
I mean, is it Sarla ji's funeral today?
'Lots of love.'
Let's read what Chaddha sir has written.
Yes, go ahead.
'Sarla ji, even if you lose your job in this downsizing'
'you'll never lose the stench of your socks.'
'Happy birthday, Jagdeep.'
It's topical, isn't it?
Everyone is worried about the staff reduction.
And it is obvious Sarla ji's socks stink in the winters.
It is called roasting, people.
This is the new trend in comedy.
Roasting. I was roasting her.
Didn't you find it funny?
There are more jokes.
I have written many.
One minute. Not this one.
'Sarla ji is so fat that she couldn't run away and get married.'
'Instead she had to walk and get married.'
Because you are fat.
I am a bit healthy.
That's why it's funny. I mean..
It wasn't even a joke. It was a direct insult.
It isn't an insult.
Roasting. Roasting.
Wow, Chaddha sa'ab. Wow. What a party.
I had said this earlier
pink is a cheap colour.
One minute. The plan backfired.
I mean, the purpose of this party was to cheer you up.
But you all appear sad.
What else should we do, sir?
Think about others for a change.
Do you know that I donated Rs. 2,000 for a kid's studies?
Per week. ‐ Yes, I know.
Rs. 1 lakh for a year. ‐ Yes, I know.
And I am going to give the cheque right away
to make you happy.
Right now. Don't move.
When I retire
I won't build a mansion for myself.
I want to donate something for our society.
Here you go. Throw this at poor Deepak.
Deposit this after the first day of next month. Okay?
People will ask, 'Hey, dude. Who built that hospital
'where thousands of lives are saved?'
'I don't know, bro. It's anonymous.'
'Shall I tell you something?'
'The angel who built that hospital'
'is Jagdeep Chaddha.'
'Hey, how do you know?'
'It's anonymous.'
'I know..'
'because I am Jagdeep Chaddha.'
I have a wonderful news. ‐ What?
I convinced T. P. to spy
from within the HO.
What? ‐ Not just that.
I also asked him to dye his hair and go
and he agreed.
I don't understand how he agreed.
I told him.. ‐ Hey!
You are sticking too close to her, dude.
Do you like touching? Here you go? Touch me.
Come on. ‐ Actually..
Parmeet, you are misunderstanding.
Basically, T. P. was telling me to form an alliance.
So, Pammi and I were making fun.
You know he is an idiot.
We were just making fun of T. P.
What alliance are you talking about?
T.P., what is he saying?
Alliance? I don't know about any alliance.
It was for fun. Nothing else.
Yes, it was for fun. Nothing else.
Let's go.
Was it right to betray Amit?
'Not at all'.
'But such things happen in politics'.
Once the work is done, the alliance is over.
Didn't I tell you
that Amit will fall in my trap?