Sameer, I don't think, that green couch will match.
But it'll give a good contrast with yellow underpants.
Please don't tell me that people
in Kanpur match couches with the color of their underpants.
And what's with the talk about underpants?
You could say shorts too.
It's more fun to say underpants than to say shorts.
It's sounds sweeter when it comes from you. Say 'underpants' again.
Earlier you'd insist that I say, 'I love you'.
Now what do you want to hear? Underpants!
These are not the underpants of an ordinary man.
It's one of the most important parts of
the costume of my superhero, Lazyman.
Lazyman wears yellow underpants over his green suit.
- Yellow over green. - Hmm.
Just try to imagine it. It seems like,
somebody has put mustard sauce on palak paneer.
Darling, guys like me don't imagine about eating palak paneer.
They imagine about getting with sensuous girls like you.
In 99.99 percent cases,
the imagination of guys like you doesn't turn into reality.
They dream about a sports car
and they get a scrap motor cycle.
I am the luckiest guy.
I dreamed about a bicycle
but I got a Lamborghini.
'Are you bored of doing it on the bed?'
'The kitchen top is not satisfying anymore.'
'There is something you want to ignore.'
'Then let's help you with your love life more.'
'Presenting! Little deeper love couch.'
'For more than 245 love positions.'
'Little deeper love couch.'
'Now make love whenever you want.'
'Every time, continuously.'
You are 100 times more happy
about this couch than you should be.
Darling, this is not just a couch,
but a live demo instrument of the Kamasutra.
245 sex positions are possible on it.
It's possible for those
who make an effort to change those positions.
You are so lazy, even a normal couch would've sufficed for you.
- I hope, it's not too expensive. - Not at all. Only Rs. 49,000.
- What! - What?
- Sameer, it's very expensive. - It's not.
It just works out to Rs. 200 per position.
Don't you think, we should buy the rest of the furniture first?
What if it doesn't match with the rest of our furniture?
No. No. No.
This couch is the most important piece of furniture for us, darling.
We'll get the rest of the furniture according to that.
- Sameer. Naina. - Seriously?
I am going to the market.
You should also come. We should buy some stuff for your home as well.
What's the need of going to the market, mother?
We are buying everything online.
Things bought online don't last too long.
I get so many divorce cases.
Most of them are people who used to date each other online.
Mom, good quality stuff can also be found at a low price
- if we research properly. - Is it?
We bought this online too.
- What is this thing? - Couch. - Sofa.
- Sofa. - Couch.
It's a sofa cum couch, mother.
I've heard about a sofa cum bed. Hold, please. But I'm
hearing about a sofa cum couch for the first time.
Are you supposed to sit
- or lie on it? - Well
This is the best position.
It's actually a very nice thing.
Sameer, if the discount is good
then order one for me as well.
Bye, mother!
- What? - Come on, dear. Order a sex couch for your mom and dad.
- Are you out of your mind? - What?
Order it, dear.
Who knows? Their lives may change for the better.
And next year you may welcome a baby brother.
Naina, stop it. Mom doesn't know what it is.
Dad has called us home in 3 minutes, 33 seconds.
It's next door, we'll get there in 30 seconds.
He doesn't like anyone being late, okay?
Then we have whole 3 minutes.
Let's make this couch worth our money. Shall we get on?
Darling.
Get ready in 3 minutes.
We'll go to the market from there to buy stuff.
Get up.
- Mr. Yadav. - Yes, sir.
- Now this is a rapid fire round. - Okay, sir.
- 10 points for the correct answer. - Okay, sir.
- One spanking for a wrong answer. - What?
Best of luck, Mr. Yadav!
Your time starts now.
What's in front of you?
It's dark, sir.
Down.
It's a table, sir.
10 points. 10 points.
What's the material?
- Teak. - Right!
- Teak. Teak. - Right. Right.
20 points! 20 points.
What's the size?
Sir, the size is 5x3 ft.
Wrong answer.
3 ft. 2 inches.
- There's a difference of only 2 inches. - Only 2 inches!
If I aim at Manjari
and the gun is moved 2 inches towards the left
then you could get shot.
But why would you shoot me, sir?
Let him shoot, he is not good at aiming.
I'm there. I'll heal you.
You will get better.
The same happened with the plumber the other day.
- Hi, dad! Hi, mom! - Right on time.
My lovely daughter.
Good morning, sir!
Good afternoon, son!
Good afternoon!
He is the contractor, Yadav.
Good afternoon, Contractor Yadav.
He will do the interiors of your house.
- What? - Yes. - Why?
Dad, we don't want any interior designing.
Please understand.
We want to decorate our house the way we want.
In fact, we have already decided what we want.
We are just about to go to buy that.
Is that why you called us?
Sorry, dad. But we got to go. Okay?
Bye! Bye, mom!
- Sorry, Mr. Yadav. - Bye!
Contractor Yadav.
- That wasn't good. - Exactly.
I suffered so much, but I didn't get the work.
Mr. Yadav, you got your 20 points.
You may go, we'll call you if we have any work, okay? Go on.
Yes.
VK.
What happened? Why are you so sad?
I am happy.
Naina has become so independent.
She doesn't want anything from me.
Earlier, she'd come to me for every little thing.
Don't be so emotional, VK.
You should also become a Buddhist monk.
- What? - Yes.
When Buddhist monks observe a fast
and when they get very hungry,
they think about the time
when they ate a lot.
And then their hunger gets quelled.
You should do the same.
But I am not hungry.
No. Think about the time
when Naina asked you for something
and you couldn't give it to her.
Imagine that you are giving her that thing now.
You'll feel relaxed.
Yeah.
Yes!
Mrs. Shastri.
Wait. Let me recognize you by reading your aura.
Mrs. Shastri.
Wow! Awesome.
Not by my voice or face,
you've recognized me by reading my aura!
Wow!
I teach that as well.
- Hello, Mr. Shastri! - Hello!
Please tell me where is the biggest furniture market in Mumbai?
Bhiwandi.
What do you want to buy, Mrs. Shastri?
You see, we shifted into such a beautiful flat.
But we don't have any furniture.
I thought, I should get furniture for the kids as well.
Just buy it for yourself, Mrs. Shastri.
The kids are not accepting anything from anyone.
My daughter is not accepting anything even from me.
You don't have a chance.
Mr. Shastri, she was your daughter.
She is my daughter-in-law now.
I'll give her and she will take it.
Going shopping with you means getting embarrassed.
You slept on a bed in the furniture shop.
You told me to check everything.
The bed wasn't in our shopping list.
But the bed sheets were.
Fine. But I'm very happy that we got curtains of our choice.
Oh! So many shopping bags!
But you said, you will buy everything online.
Yes. All of that has been ordered online.
Great! It's delivered already!
What is this thing?
Mrs. Sarnaik, it's a sofa cum couch.
- It's very comfortable. - Can I try this?
Yes, go ahead.
It is pretty.
- Interesting. - What are you doing?
This is tough.
- You can sit on it and lie down as well. - Is it?
Yes. Lift your legs.
- Like this? - Yes.
My son, if your mother-in-law's trial of the sofa-cum-couch is over
- then I want to show something to you and Naina. - Yes, sure.
Look at this. What do you think about this dining table?
- It's nice, mother. - According to you
where will it look better?
I think, it will look better in the space in front of the kitchen.
Perfect! Mister, bring it inside.
Put the dining table in front of the kitchen.
- No. - Why?
Mom, we were talking about the space in front of your kitchen.
Dear Sameer,
it's looking beautiful here as well.
But mom, please try to understand.
- We are not accepting gifts from anyone. - Yes.
VK tried to stop her but she didn't listen.
See, the kids have refused.
I felt like giving it, so I gave it.
Keep it if you want
or set it on fire!
Perhaps, she got angry. Why?
I think, there's some negative energy over here.
- There's some negative... Ouch! - Whoa!
The couch!
This couch. This is negative. Return it.
No!
We can't return it.
The shopkeeper told us.
After use.
While buying.
While buying
the shopkeeper told you that you can't return it after use?
Oh, wow! Yes. Good! Yes. That.
But something needs to be done about it.
Sure, we will do something.
Hold on. Move aside.
Mother, why are you taking a picture?
What do you think about it?
I'm sending it to Guruji for a solution.
- Sent. - No!
No problem.
- Right. - No problem. - Good.
Now Guruji tell will us
what to do about it.
Listen, dear Faiz.
Even if NRC applies,
you don't need to worry.
Your documents are in place.
You just worry about the Home Minister of this house.
Whether you have the documents or not,
she can throw you out if she wants to.
It seems, she is back.
It seems, Sameer and Naina have refused to accept your gift.
I gave them such a nice dining table.
- Foolish people. - Sending a dining table is
an old tradition of your family.
They sent me one as well after the marriage.
That was the only nice thing you had in your house.
We didn't give it to you.
Your dad demanded it from my dad.
My dad wanted a dining table
and your dad wanted a scientist.
Considering that, my dad was at a loss.
My dad wanted a real space scientist.
And your dad gave us someone
who talks to plants.
Calm down. It could cause a hemorrhage.
Let me give you a head massage.
Okay. Relax.
They are kids. They will understand.
- Listen. - Yes?
Where did you make a mess while I was away?
I've didn't even go to the balcony.
No! No! No!
We decided that we will use
our separate doors to enter the balcony.
Never mind. I will use my door.
No. One second.
Stop. No.
Didn't we decide that we won't keep plants
on my side of the balcony?
Where will I sit now?
You will sit over there.
Manohar and Santosh
will come above. Faiz and D'Costa will go under them.
They are very nice children. They give oxygen.
They may be giving it to you. I can't breathe.
- Get them out. - Whom?
All of them.
Listen, we'll make some room.
Alright, Manohar.
Faiz.
Put on your shoes.
- Mom got offended because of the table incident. - Yes.
Not yet. She'll be offended when we will
set the table on fire!
Who has come now?
- Hi, dad. - Naina, you asked me for something
which I couldn't give you.
Today, I have brought it for you.
Soldiers, enter!
Dad, when did I ask for a piano?
- In March. - March?
Year 2002. You were almost 8 years.
It took a while to be delivered, right?
Dad, I may have wanted it that time. I don't want it now.
And I have told you before that we want to decorate
our house the way we want,
without any gifts, without any help.
- Naina, this piano - Please understand.
Sameer.
Look, what I have got for you.
Please take it back.
We don't need that trolley, dad.
I am not giving you the trolley. I've brought the plants.
They are not taking my piano,
your plants don't stand a chance.
My son Sameer.
I am here to ask you for something, not to give.
Look at them.
Your mother has thrown them out of the house.
This is Manohar, this is Santosh and this is D'Costa.
These children need a roof over their heads.
My son, give them shelter. I beg of you.
It's okay, dad.
They are just plants. We will keep them in the balcony.
Naina.
I am here to ask you for something, not to give it.
Dad, where will I keep it? There's no room in the house.
What rubbish!
How isn't there any room?
What is this thing?
Remove this useless thing.
- Put the piano here. - It's not useless.
With 245 positions, you can...
What?
...rest.
And you can exercise too.
- Really? - Yes, father.
How do you exercise on this?
- I'll show you later. Not now. - Dad.
I can't do push ups.
Mr. Sarnaik, can I try it?
- Can I try it? - No.
Dad.
Alright.
Mr. Sarnaik, it's possible
that it is made for traditional exercises.
In any case, it's a very nice object.
Really?
My son, do one thing. You keep his piano
and bring this to my house.
- Dad! - Dad, what?
Children give their father so many gifts.
Can't you give me this object?
I can give gifts.
First class! So it's decided.
The piano goes here.
The plants will go there.
This object goes to Mr. Shastri's house.
We solved the problem.
I am sending someone to move it.
Everything is going awry, Sambo.
They would set this couch on fire if they could.
You are just concerned about the couch!
What about the fact that they've turned my house into a warehouse?
This is the match point of this competition.
- Let's play doubles. - No, we will play singles.
We will play singles.
I'll defeat my family. You defeat your family.
Exactly.
Come on!
Mom, Naina had so many plans about our house.
My son, even we had so many plans about you.
But perhaps, Naina's plans are more important to you.
Where is this odor coming from?
It's not an odor, it's the scent of these dung cakes.
Today onwards, they will be used as fuel for cooking organically.
Just great!
Dung cakes will be burned in our new and clean house.
- Great! - I'll make tea on them.
Mom.
That dining table in our house
is just like those
- dung cakes in yours. - Is it?
I need to think about it.
Dad, please take that piano back.
A bullet shot from a gun
and VK's gift never return back.
Dad, that piano won't match with anything in our house.
Naina, a piano is a piano.
It matches with everything.
That is so mismatched in our house
just like, you and Sameer.
Is it? Oh.
Who is the piano in this comparison?
Me or Sameer?
Sameer.
Oh!
Then I must remove Sameer from that house.
The piano.
That's what I said.
Mom, what happened?
- What happened? - I don't know, dear.
I sent Guruji the photo of your couch
and messaged him, 'Guruji, what do you think about it?'
He sent me an angry smiley and blocked me.
Mom, emoji.
That's what I said.
Alright. Finally, dad understood the point.
He is a doting father, he always listens to you.
I convinced my spitfire of a mother. Just imagine.
Will you just keep celebrating
- or think about using the couch too? - Oh, yes!
That's what I was thinking.
Who has come now?
Naina, you were absolutely right.
This piano doesn't fit here at all.
Soldiers, take it.
Sameer, you were right.
This dining table is not going to
match with the rest of your furniture.
Exactly. Mister, after throwing the piano,
this dining table also...
- Put it outside. - No. The dining table is not going anywhere.
We have brought matching furniture.
Mother, didn't Sameer tell you not to bring the furniture?
No. He just said,
the dining table won't match with the rest of the furniture.
You see, we have returned Naina's dad's piano too.
Mr. Shastri and I bought the furniture together for both of you.
- What? - Yes.
Come on. Bring the matching furniture.
Now all the furniture matches each other. Right, Mrs. Shastri?
- Mom. - What happened?
Everything okay? What happened?
What should I say?
When Guruji blocked me,
I went to him to ask,
'Guruji, I had just send you'
'a photo of that couch'
'then why did you block me?'
He got furious and
he said, 'get out.'
He insulted me. I'm telling you.
The couch is the culprit.
You must remove it, my son. Please!
That has already been arranged.
You got yourself insulted for no reason.
- What? - Yes. Come on in.
- I told you, take it away. - No.
- Come on, lift it. - Mister, wait.
Just take it away.
Do you know what that is for?
I know, you have suffered as loss of Rs. 49,000.
Now forget about it. Cheer up.
I dreamed about 245 positions.
I didn't get to do even one.
You didn't get to do 245 positions, but
7 positions are
possible right here.
How is it possible on this?
It's possible. Just lie down, I'll tell you.
- Is it? - Yes, lie down.
Lift your legs.
This is nice.
You look away or I won't be able to enjoy. I'll feel shy.
Sure.
Don't tug so hard. Easy done it.
- I'm not tugging, I'm about to press it. - Okay.
Nice!
You never used to do this in Kanpur.
We didn't have this in Kanpur. What is it called?
This is a very fun thing.
A little bit lower. Yes, there.