I’ve heard that the person who wielded
the greatest influence over MT was his mother.
The strong female characters he created in his films and in his literary works,
may have been inspired by her.
Kerala’s matrilinear system
gave women great freedom,
made them aware of their rights,
inspired them with the courage to make their own decisions.
But all this ended when this system declined.
In the era we live in, women clamour for gender equality.
I have two children, both girls.
As a father, I believe firmly
in their absolute right to chart their own lives.
MT’s story, Kazhcha (Vision),
that you’re going to watch now was written in the nineties
and was one of the most widely discussed...
and studied stories of that period.
Wafting over the Thaannikkunnu hill
And over the banks of the silvery Nila river
O come to me, my lonely dreams
As you wander continually over my mindscapes
Wafting over the Thaannikkunnu hill
[Train announcement in Tamil]
[Indistinct chattering in the railway station]
Hello, this is me.
Yes, say.
I’m going to Kerala.
My berth was confirmed this morning.
Oh...
I couldn’t tell you earlier.
Hmm... okay.
You don’t usually tell me much.
Prabhetta, I don’t get to know much either about what you do.
Okay, I understood.
This was not deliberate. When my berth was confirmed…
Ok, just meant I wasn’t surprised.
You must have your reasons.
The rent has been paid into the account.
I gave Ramu the electricity bill.
He said he’d go to the office.
Okay!
Yeah, okay.
[Train announcement in Tamil]
- Hello. - Hello.
- [In Tamil] -Is Vishwanathan Sir there? - He’s gone out. Who’s speaking?
Okay.
I’ll call later.
What’s your number?
No, no. I’ll call later.
- [In Tamil] Alright, then. - Thank you.
If I could become the other half...
Of your half-slashed song
If I could become the other half...
Of your half-slashed song
If I could press myself down...
On your honey-sweet lips
As the song of a bamboo stalk
Fall as rain to reach your side,
- Fall as rain to reach your side, - Stop here.
- Fall as rain to reach your side, - Here, here.
Fall as rain to reach your side,
Soak in coolness till my greed is slaked,
Soak in coolness till my greed is slaked, - How much?
Soak in coolness till my greed is slaked, - Five rupees.
Soak in coolness till my greed is slaked,
Be the life of your life
Stay in your body as a flower, as nectar
I would pour down gently, softly
If you’d written to say you were coming,
I’d have sent someone to the station.
It was a sudden decision.
Didn’t know if I’d get leave.
Luckily, I did.
My berth was confirmed just this morning.
There’s no problem getting an auto from the station.
Janu...
Aren’t you hungry? Have a bath. I’ll make dosas quickly.
- Where’s Savithri now? - In Palakkad.
Achuthettan works there now.
He’s a driver of the bus on the Palakkad-Mannarkad route.
Savithri Edathi’s coming next month for her delivery.
Is she?
Do you need anything else?
No, go and have your lunch.
You’re sitting here, Sudhakutty?
I looked for you all over.
Couldn’t you have lain down for a while?
I had a short nap.
Can I ask you something?
Is what I heard true?
What did you hear?
That you and Prabhakaran are separating...
Who sends you news with such telegraphic speed?
Sridevi came the day before from Narayanankutty’s place.
Their Devu’s husband is in Madras, you know.
Vishalam wrote as well.
Now that Edathi knows, Amma, Chandri will write to you too.
People say all kinds of things.
What really happened?
From what I heard…
What you heard is true, Amma.
It’s best to part...
For both of us.
What are you doing?
It’s all so dusty. Don’t catch a cold.
It’s very hot.
I can bring the table fan from my room.
It’s just a bit noisy, but it still works.
I don’t need it, Amma.
Does Prabhakaran come home by this time?
Sometimes.
He goes to the club, plays rummy and comes home late.
Still…
What?
To go separate ways, after living together for five years…
What will people think?
[Birds quacking]
They are wildfowl.
They always come at this time.
I’ve no idea where they are coming from.
Look, Cholayil Valiamma said she wants to see you.
I think it’s from Janu that she heard you’re here.
I’ll go, Amma.
That’s what you always say.
The last time you came, you didn’t go and see her.
She’s 84 now.
Who knows how much longer she’ll be alive!
Don’t you remember, she came and stayed here when you were a child.
How could I not remember?
How she told me stories about Palat Koman and Kannagi and made me say my prayers.
She used to tell stories as if she had actually seen them happen!
It’s been a long time since you saw her.
This time, whatever happens, you must go and see her.
The old woman’s almost blind
but otherwise quite healthy.
[Lady from the distance] You have visitors...
[Indistinct talking]
It’s Sridevi.
She must have heard from someone that you’re here.
Such a nuisance!
[Indistinct talking]
Look who’s here!
Such a long time since I saw you, Sridevi Edathi.
- Yes, it’s been a long time. - Do sit down.
What’s all the news?
Just getting along.
Where’s Ambujam now?
In Hyderabad. She went for her second daughter’s delivery.
- So, the delivery will be there? - Yes.
Ah, Sudha...
Heard you had come.
Janu, put some water on for tea.
Sit down, Sudha.
It’s okay.
I’ll be back in a minute.
We came to talk to you frankly.
If what we heard is true, things look quite bad.
It’s bad, but I have no option.
There’s some truth in what Narayanankutty said.
This is something that will bring shame to the whole family.
To say you want to leave after living together for five years…
He might have erred, been at fault, you just have to endure it all.
That’s what marriage is about.
How much your mother’s endured!
What’s wrong, Sudha?
Amma...
I’m looking for a music book.
It had a light song that Ramani Teacher taught me in school. Have you seen it?
I don’t remember.
A lot of things were shifted out when…
the window shutter was moved and replaced.
I think there were some of your old books among them.
How could you? You could've asked me before you did that.
Why do you need that book so badly now?
I need it, to set my next programme.
Where do you have the time for things like music after your office work?
Who will do the household chores then?
No wonder Prabhakaran…
Why give relatives and friends reasons to find fault with you?
I need to make a call to Madras.
The line is down. It went off at noon.
Three or four people who came had to go away.
Prabhakaran Nair hasn’t come?
No.
Walk a little faster!
- Sumathi! - Sudhakutty!
How long it’s been!
Are you well?
Getting along.
You’ll be here a few days?
Haven’t decided.
I get news of you from your mother.
Your wart has grown a little bigger!
That’s because this girl played with it endlessly as a child!
I too used to prod it a lot, to irritate you!
You remember all that?
Then what else? You look good.
This is such a pretty sari. Where's it from?
My husband sent it through his friend when he came here last month.
- He sent it all the way from there? - Yeah!
So, what’s all the news?
News… I’ve built a new house.
It’s nearby.
Aha!
The house-warming is next Monday.
- You must come, Sudhakutty. - I will, if I’m here.
I’ve always wanted a house with attached bathrooms.
I have one at last,
thanks to the fact that he works in Dubai.
He wrote to say that he’s coming in July.
Ask him to take you when he goes back.
Don’t you want to see Dubai?
No way.
He says only people with high salaries can afford to do things like that.
Why wish for what I can’t have?
All this is quite enough for me.
I’ve forgotten her name.
Karthika.
- Hi, little one - She’s my friend!
She’s a shy child, right?
By the way...
Go and make a circumambulation around that banyan tree.
Sudha...
The mosaic-layer’s wife gave me some news about you.
Is it true?
More or less.
I don’t mean to advise someone brighter, more educated than I.
In every way, it’s best to adjust to everything that happens.
Your biggest mistake was deciding not to have children.
If you had one, boy or girl, you’d never have evil thoughts.
I speak from experience.
When there was a problem between me and my husband,
it was the thought of this child that held us together.
Okay?
Shall we go then?
Say goodbye to Aunty.
I'm off. I have so much to do!
- Don’t forget, on Monday... - I won’t.
- Bye, then. - Okay.
[Children singing musical notes]
The milky-white glow that flows out from the circle of love surrounding
Lamps that never go out.
The storehouse of love That is earth, our mother.
These are the sweet gifts blessed by our Guru,
[Children singing musical notes]
Given to us as prasadam, The bounty of the gods
[In Tamil] Sudha, I heard you sing on TV yesterday, it was wonderful!
Thank you, Maami.
Where is Prabhakaran?
In Hyderabad, travelling.
He’s been away quite some time. When will he be back?
- Today or tomorrow. - Okay.
[Distant knocking]
[Knocking]
There are a lot of clothes to be washed in it.
Have you eaten? Shall I bring you something?
No, Ramachandran and Alex were with me.
We ate together.
You can go to sleep.
Sudha!
You drank before dinner.
Why drink again?
Do you know what time it is?
I have to go the office for an inspection tomorrow.
Go and lie down. I’m not sleepy.
What about that order?
Did you get it?
A bunch of fools!
That’s the management.
They don’t understand when I explain what the matter is.
So, I just keep running to and fro.
[In Tamil] I can’t go on like this much longer.
Go and lie down.
It was day before yesterday, on Doordarshan.
What?
Didn’t I tell you? Our music programme's telecast…
Ha! Good!
Now you can claim yourself a ‘TV-fame'!
[Phone rings in office background]
Hey Sudha,
you owe us a treat for having sung on TV.
I made everyone at home watch it.
It’s a matter of pride for me that my colleague was on TV.
When is the next programme?
I don’t know, Nirmala.
There’s a Bharathiyar song that I have to compose for a group.
The problem is that I can’t find a place for us to rehearse.
Hello.
Yes, Sir.
Okay, Sir.
It’s that P & T company. There’s a problem with the transit bill.
They’re in the Manager’s room. I’ll be back soon.
Hey, Sudha.
You wanted a space to rehearse.
Remember, Srini Ettan spoke of Vishwanathan, a music critic?
He’s set up a music library and a practice hall
on the ground floor of his house.
Maybe you could use that.
Where is it?
Royapettah. 3rd Main Road.
Does he live there?
No, it’s his family home.
He didn’t want it left unused,
so he’s thrown it open for activities like these.
Please come, welcome to Ganapriya.
My grandfather built this house.
He and my father were great lovers of music
and I have inherited a good part of their mania.
Where did you learn Malayalam?
Father was in Trivandrum for a long time, in the Department of Telegraphs.
Since I grew up there, I learnt Malayalam.
Who is your guru, Sudha?
I was in Suguna Madam’s class.
Many in this generation are Suguna Maami’s disciples.
There’s a choral group as well.
It’s for their practice that we don’t have space.
[In Tamil] Yes, Srini told me.
So yeah...
This is the space.
I need it only for about two or three hours a week.
That’s okay, if you can be flexible about time.
Sometimes, there’s dance practice here, or some small concerts.
I can adjust to all that.
Then it’s okay.
You didn’t say anything about the rent.
Start rehearsing, then we’ll see.
But your first concert must be held here.
[Classical music concert on TV]
You’re not ready? Just sitting here, listening to a concert?
His house is beyond Adyar.
If we’re caught in peak traffic we won’t get there on time.
It’s late already.
I’m not coming, Prabhetta.
Why?
I don’t know anyone there. And I have to practise for a group song tomorrow-
Let all this music and noise be of use to someone.
Please, you can at least be of help to the family that way!
You are the leap of light To me
I am the eyes that see that light To you
You are nectar that drips sweetness To me
I am the bee that longs for the nectar To you
I have no words To extol your greatness
You are a pure flame, The pure light of the sky
A sparkling elixir, Kannamma!
You are the leap of light To me
I am the eyes that see that light To you
You are nectar that drips sweetness To me
I am the bee that longs for the nectar To you
You are the strumming of the veena To me
I am the fingers that play that veena To you
You are the chain that adorns To me
I am its new and dazzling diamond To you
Every spot I see is illumined With the radiance of your eyes
Empress of all human beings. You are the basis of my life
Kannamma!
Wow!
Beautiful!
Really beautiful!
- May I…? - Yes, please.
[In Tamil] Hearing you, I remembered a Balamuralikrishna concert
where he sang this song in a different raga.
Pantuvarali.
It’s a wonderful feeling to listen to it.
Which one is that? Can you sing it?
I don’t practise at all…
Doesn’t matter. Just four lines…
Okay, I’ll try.
You are the leap of light To me
I am the eyes that see that light To you
You are nectar that drips sweetness To me
I am the bee that longs for the nectar To you
I have no words
To extol your greatness
You are a pure flame, The pure light of the sky
A sparkling elixir,
Kannamma!
Wow. [Applauds]
Why do you never do concerts?
To tell the truth,
I finished my Engineering, then found a job. Time passed.
I couldn’t practise.
However, after many years, music, my first love came back to me
and I wanted to do something for music-lovers.
So, I renovated this place.
I sometimes write about music and concerts.
I gave up my job.
Now I’m full time into music.
And rehearsals...
What a blessing to be able to live according to one’s desires.
That choice exists for all of us.
But you must have the courage to make your choice, that’s all.
All we have is one life.
If we choose to bend it to someone else’s desires,
then who will live our life?
- This is…? - My father’s younger brother.
He has played the mridangam for Chembai and others.
You sing very well, Sudha.
Any musicians in your family?
No. My teacher in school was very encouraging
and soon music was all I could think of.
I just managed to get through college with a degree.
Then they got me married.
I did a bank test and got a job.
- This is? - Thiruvayuru, the Thyagaraja festival.
I was five years old then.
Is your husband into music?
No. Marketing.
The music teacher I spoke of,
she taught me a beautiful song like the one we sang today.
I had written it down somewhere.
I’ll look for it when I go to Kerala.
Please do. I would love to hear it.
- This? - It’s Salzburg, the Mozart festival.
I would love to go there.
He'll be out this over.
For sure!
Super...
He'll be out this over, watch.
You came early?
I got back an hour ago.
I had a rehearsal, so I went directly from the office.
What rehearsal is this?
We have a music group.
- So, we were-- - You didn't know?
She’s a famous TV celebrity now.
If I lose my job, I can be her manager.
Sixer, sixer!
Who made this guy bowl?
Prabhakaran...
Ask your wife to sing a song.
Watch the match.
Call her... She sings really well.
You have a headache?
If you don’t exercise control…
Yesterday, while I was coming up, Maami asked about the rent.
We owe two months’ rent now.
I have no money. You pay it this time.
I paid last month as well.
I had to include the sum that I usually send my mother.
This month, I must send her money.
So please ask one of your friends.
Whom can I ask?
They can only help me after the strike.
Why send your mother money every month?
She has never asked me
and she never will.
She has enough to live on. I do this for my own happiness.
Your happiness lies in singing and roaming around with all sorts of people.
This concerns your family.
It’s not right that I interfere.
But if I can help you in any way, as a friend.
Tell me.
- I have a request. - Yeah.
If it’s not possible, you must say so.
Tell me.
You said you have two rooms above Ganapriya.
Yes…
Can you give me one of them on rent?
Sudha...
You shouldn’t take emotional decisions.
Think well.
Take your time.
It’s you who should decide
what you need to do in order to live happily.
This concept of Virginia Woolf’s that I learnt about in college,
‘A room of one’s own’.
Have you heard of it?
No.
If a woman wants to live a creative life, what she needs is...
an income of her own
and a room of her own.
A room of one’s own.
So,
will you give me that room on rent?
Thangedathi!
Look who’s here!
Achamma was just saying she was worried...
that you would leave without seeing her.
Hey no! What’s all the news?
We’re just sitting here in this crumbling house.
Where’s Valiamma?
In the northern room.
She can’t see at all.
But she hates anyone holding her hand.
Who knows when she may stumble and fall?
No one will have trouble because of me.
I’ll hold your hand, Achamma.
No, don’t.
You’ll stumble over the threshold.
I’ll sit down.
Valiamma!
You’ve put on weight, Sudhakutty.
Didn’t you start gasping after taking four steps towards me?
I can make out without seeing.
Thankam,
make some tea and if there’s jackfruit, fry some chips.
Just half a glass of tea will do.
So Sudhakutty, you haven’t forgotten me.
Forget you?
We went to Madurai a year or two ago.
I thought of all the stories you used to tell me.
I wanted to buy you something from there, but couldn’t.
You thought of buying me something.
That’s enough for me.
What have you decided, child?
Don’t worry, I didn’t send for you to scold or censure you.
It’s five years since I’ve seen you.
These creatures here mock me when I talk of what I see.
They wonder, what can a person with cataract in both eyes see.
But have they seen as much as I have?
Tell me,
what have you decided?
Marriage is one’s own affair.
There’s no sense in acting out a farce, just to convince others.
None of you would have seen
the first person I was engaged to.
Amma has told me.
A music teacher, wasn’t he?
That was the problem.
He taught music at Sharody’s house and had his meals in our house.
He sang beautifully and wore gorgeous clothes.
A tilakam of sandal paste on his forehead
and earrings studded with red stones.
Yes, you would have guessed that when I saw all this,
I found him attractive.
He left before a year passed.
Amma told me so.
He didn’t leave because he wanted to.
I sent him away!
A man should be smart and lively,
not coquettish and whining.
I told him myself to sever the bond, what else?
Then came Valiachan, your grandfather.
He was a peon in the Salt Department.
He had no looks whatsoever to boast of.
They’d say he was as fierce as a cobra.
Only I knew how gentle he was.
All I had to say was that I had a cold. he’d get all upset and worried!
Is the tea strong enough, Sudha?
- Sweet enough? - Just right.
And so we lived peacefully, happily. Then suddenly, I had a sweet distraction
It was after the delivery of Kuttiarayanan.
What?
I was only as old as you are now...
I was infatuated with another man, briefly.
I told myself sternly: keep quiet and control yourself.
And so the moment passed. But still…
Is he alive now, Valiamma?
He’s gone. Everyone’s gone.
I’m the only one left.
Nothing I can do except wait to be called.
You can’t make yourself die, can you?
Valiamma….
Who’s the other man, Sudhakutty?
You met someone, liked him,
decided that from now on you want to live with him.
Isn’t that what happened?
Valiamma….
Tell me who it is.
Is it someone who works with you?
Then you and Prabhakaran should just part company.
He’ll find another woman, don’t worry about all that.
Just end this relationship.
That’s not so easy now as it used to be, Valiamma.
Where did you go, girl?
To Sharody’s, to get a book from Sharada.
Why strut around in a silk skirt when you go to Sharody’s?
She doesn’t have a book in her hand, does she?
Ah, Amma, yes, I’m coming.
When I hear her skirt rustle, I know it’s silk.
And then she told another lie. Thangam didn’t call from inside.
She’s only a child, Valiamma.
She is too smart for her age.
I see everything.
I’ll leave then.
No, child, you’re going to give me some money.
What use do I have for money?
When you come next, if I am alive, come and see me.
That’s all I want.
Ok, Valiamma.
Okay.
May all go well with you,
at least this time.
I want to make a call to Madras.
- Hello. - Hello.
- Hello, Sudha. - Hello.
- Where are you? - I’m in Kerala.
- When…? - It was a sudden decision.
You could have called.
I tried, but didn’t get through.
- You went for something urgent? - No, no.
I thought I should get away from there for a couple of days.
Okay. When are you coming back?
I’ll start tomorrow.
You’ve reserved a ticket?
No, there’s no one here to send to book a ticket.
Oh, okay.
- Then how… - In the ladies’ compartment.
- Is it okay - Oh yes, it’s just for a night.
Oh, okay...
Next Sunday, there’s a concert by Balamuralikrishna at Fine Arts…
Didn’t I tell you about a song book?
Yes, at school.
I thought I had lost it, but found it after a long search.
Oh, that's nice!
Did you learn the song?
I’ll bring it when I come.
Yes, please.
Shall I disconnect?
Are you in a hurry to get home?
Yes, I am. When I get home...
There’ll be a wildfowl there with all her brood.
I sit looking at them for a long time.
It’s a sight to be seen!
Okay. Call me when you come.
Take care, bye.
I have no words To extol your greatness
You are a pure flame, The pure light of the sky
A sparkling elixir, Kannamma!
You are the leap of light To me
I am the eyes that see that light To you
You are nectar that drips sweetness To me
I am the bee that longs for the nectar To you
You are the strumming of the veena To me
I am the fingers that play that veena To you
You are the chain that adorns To me
I am its new and dazzling diamond To you
Every spot I see is illumined With the radiance of your eyes
Empress of all human beings. You are the basis of my life
Kannamma!