Listen,
Be angry for a few days
after that if Pranav says sorry, you go back.
Fighting like this...
I don't want to talk about it.
So are you planning to actually leave him?
Who breaks off a marriage like this?
Great!
I think I have set the wrong example for the two of you.
Just because my marriage broke off...
Baba, let it go.
You can't solve everything by talking it out.
Hey Chitvan, it is a serious matter okay?
Chitvan, stop the car and drop me off.
His sermons are not going to stop.
Amazing, if I try to talk...
Hmmm...
Hmm...
Buddha.
Sermon!
The funny thing is I've heard so much pure Hindi in just a day, Baba.
I am absolutely bedazzled.
Bedazzled!
I think we are heading the wrong way.
Don't be negative, Baba.
I am telling you we are lost.
Baba, chill.
I think.
We have to take a right ahead.
There is nothing right ahead.
Everything is wrong here.
Just take a U-turn now.
Baba, don't panic.
The tea stall guy told us to go this way right?
He also told us that we'll reach the main road in 15 minutes.
We have been going around for one and a half hour!
Everyone here consumes Bhang(local liquor) in the evening and then they speak rubbish.
So then was it necessary to run off at midnight?
We could have at the same argument tomorrow morning, right?
We could have peacefully had lunch and then left.
Hey, just take a U-turn now.
Baba
Chitvan, just take a bloody U-turn.
Hey look there, lights!
Where?
Something flickered there.
One second.
Hey, what are you doing?
Arrey, stupid fellow.
Baba I can see far off things better, right?
You can't see anything nearby, idiot.
Put that light back on!
Chitvan just switch on the light, man!
Arrey just swit...
What the hell, man?
What a loser, Baba?
I am smart,
not a scaredy-cat.
What if something had popped up in front of us suddenly?
What?
Ghosts?
Huh, what nonsense!
What if a man came in front of the car?
Or some animal, a deer or something?
Hey!
Hey, just stop it, man!
It's not funny, okay?
Baba, it's okay.
Everybody gets scared.
Everybody shits their pants.
Chitvan.
Just switch on the light okay?
This is not funny.
This is stupid and dangerous.
Where did that light go?
I don't know which light you are talking about.
I haven't seen any lights yet.
I saw the lights there,
it was coming from the right side.
No, it was coming from left, from the extreme left.
Man, this is extremely stupid.
Just stop the fucking car.
We've just been fighting over
right and left,
and getting deeper in to the desert
Just stop the car right now, man!
Baba we crossed a fence behind, no?
Yeah, so?
Did we cross the border and reach Pakistan?
Yeah in the morning two policemen will come and say,
"Sir, please come with us you are fucked."
Dude the border is near Jaisalmer,
we are in Jodhpur.
Hey.
It's a full moon.
So?
On a full moon night the desert sand looks like silver.
Chitvan, what are you doing?
Looking for wood for a bonfire.
Hey, have we come here for a picnic?
Everybody's life is fucked and we've lost our way.
With all this stress you want to light a bonfire and listen to melancholic music?
Nice track.
Thanks.
Remember when there were power cuts we used to play a game in our childhood?
'My dirty secret'.
In the darkness we would tell each other secrets that nobody knew.
Yeah, I remember.
I'd stolen Bunty Jaiswal's tape recorder.
I told you guys
and you guys went and told mom and dad.
I was beaten up.
Because that was wrong Chitvan.
He is taking revenge for that.
Tells all of our secrets to mom and dad.
No, but you guys broke the rule of the game.
And Chanchu,
the name of the game is 'my dirty secret'.
It is not 'my good karma for the day', right?
Okay, sorry.
Now don't cry.
Should we play now?
No!
Why?
You want to play a game in this situation?
So what other options do you have?
Okay come, your turn.
Start.
Hey, I don't want to play any games, ask her only.
Hey, come on dude.
Okay ladies first.
Should I start?
Okay.
I had sex before marriage.
Hey, everyone did.
I mean does.
No, I mean,
right before,
between my engagement and the wedding.
Not with Pranav.
What?
Nice!
How is it nice?
Nice or not, it happened.
And anyway I am telling you guys my secret so don't judge.
Anyway...
So it happened at my bachelorrete party, in Goa.
He was Scottish.
Ooh how was it?
Hey, I don't want to know.
It was amazing.
Hey, what are you guys doing man?
Are you her brother or girl friend?
Chill, I am not telling the details.
Anyway, I felt really bad later on.
Obviously.
No, not that I had sex.
But,
I wish...
I just wish I had done it with a black guy.
Okay, that's just...
Racist? Yeah.
No, that's not what I meant but...
All right, forget it.
Chanchu.
Hmm?
Tell me something.
What did you see in Pranav?
Pranav.
You know when I first met Pranav.
He was my senior then.
He used to come to college in an open jeep.
He was into wildlife photography.
He was a member of the flying club.
He was really cool back then.
And our interests were the same.
But then when his father passed away.
They found out that they were under a lot of debt.
Disputes started off in the family regarding the property.
And...
It was getting difficult to handle such a big palace
So Pranav took all the responsibilities.
And now he is stuck there.
And you also got stuck with him.
Are you crying?
It's just that...
I don't have anybody to talk to.
If I tell mom dad, they'll simply get worried.
You settled in the US.
He never picks up his calls.
I am sorry I am going on like this,
but it is just that,
if somebody sits and hears me out then.
I'll feel much better.
I'll be able to handle this situation way better.
You know Pranav is not a bad guy.
I really love him,
I do.
I was in jail for three days.
What?
I was smoking a joint outside the club.
I had a really nice gig.
I'd got 10,000 rupees.
Whoever came and praised the gig,
I offered them the joint.
The seventh guy, motherfucker,
turned out to be a policeman.
He smoked the whole joint with me.
Then in for three days.
A 10,000 rupees fine and back to square one.
But, I befriended him.
Everything is off the record,
no criminal history.
I'm good.
Wow!
I don't know whether to be worried about you or be proud of you.
I am worried.
Proud is a little difficult.
Fuck, you actually went to jail?
Yup.
This experience is also important, Baba.
Arrey!
Okay come on, your turn now.
Told you already, I got a divorce.
Now what?
Hey, that's not fair.
Baba that is no secret.
All the waitresses in my club know that .
Tell us a bigger secret,
how many notes did you manage to
extract out of the divorce?
What?
He earned money out of his divorce.
What?
You got money?
How did you do it?
Tell me even I'll try.
Nothing man, his foreigner wife was getting naughty.
She got bored of brown bread.
So, she was having white bread.
Acha okay, come on.
Time for your dirty secret.
I'm afraid to sleep in the dark..
Baba, there's nothing secret in this too.
Why don't you listen for once?
Stop spoiling the melancholic mood!
Go ahead.
Yeah, so I'm afraid to sleep in the dark.
I don't know why is this happening.
And the problem exacerbated in Brooklyn.
Then Paula came in my life.
We worked together, traveled together,
slept together. Everything was good.
Then Paula...
Started coming home late.
I used to lie down with the lights on.
Would sleep after hearing her open the door.
Then one night she...
Opened the door and I didn't hear anything
What I heard was her phone call.
About the details of
her sex life with her boyfriend, Harvey.
So, that was that.
And...so...
This is my dirty secret.
I am afraid to sleep in the dark.
The way I see it,
Your phobia saved you.
From that sham called marriage.
And made him a millionaire.
God should give such problems to everyone.
I also want a divorce!
When was the last time that we...
Three of us, were together like this?
1998.
Sarojini Nagar.
Right before the exams, right?
Light's out.
It's quite nice, right?
Yeah, we should do this more often.
Yeah.
I always say,
road trips are the solution to all of life's problems.
In fact,
Fuck melancholy. I'll just change the fucking track.
Let's use Harman speakers in our Tiago.
Let me show you how it's done.
You sure you saw light in this direction?
Yeah!
Baba, I frankly didn't see any light.
Why?
No one saw any light?
Did you?
No but you both were so convinced...
Only chanchal saw the light but she is in depression.
Shut up!
Hey,
What is that?
Looks like a party!
Let's join!
Wow!
They're awesome!
That middle-one looks like Paula.
I feel like I'm in Mad Max.
What a day!
What a lovely day!
Gulping beer down and...
Look at their perfect bodies!
One minute.
Get back.
What?
It's the heat.
This mirage!
You know them?
She isn't mirage. The English term - mirage
Oh, that helps.
Shalom.
Hi, Shalom.
I'm Chandan.
Baba, shalom means hello.
Wait, let me handle this.
Where are you from, shalom?
From Israel.
Israel, Israel!
*Hebrew*
Oh, nice.
Come,
I'll introduce you to my friends.
He speaks Israeli?
Israeli isn't a language, Israel is a country and Hebrew is its language.
Oh, okay.
He speaks Hebrew?
I don't know what he does.
Might have learned it in the jail.
You're slightly jealous of Chitvan, right?
Of course not.
Maybe a little.
Come.
This is Yaile.
Hi, Yaile
Hi.
That is Ruqsana.
Hi!
Tanya.
Hi, Tanya. How are you?
Very nice to meet you.
They know the way.
These sweeties will take us to the service station.
We'll check on the car and on our hunger.
I've talked to them.
Listen, now I'll tell you what the plan is.
I'll go to the service station with them in the van
And you come with Chanchal in Tiago
Baba.
I'll eat the fruit when I planted the seeds.
You guys follow us in the Tiago.
Babies, you follow me.
Come.
Nice shirt.
All okay?
Yeah
Thank you for helping us get here.
So now?
Now, we should go...
Long way.
Yes...
Chotu, where's the bathroom?
Up.
Oh, up. Okay.
Come, I'll show you.
No, I'll go.
I also go.
Oh, you also... okay.
One second.
Come.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Whoa! What are you doing?
5 minutes? Listen, shoshan.
Shoshana.
Shoshana, not here. Not this, please.
No?
No.
-Oh,Indian. -Indian, yes.
No waste time.
Waste time, sorry?
Okay, no problem but more money.
More...money?
Chitvan paid this for you.
No problem but more money
One minute... Communication problem. Chitvan gave you money for this?
Let me just have a word with Chitvan and I'll be back.
I'm so sorry about this. I'll be back in a...
Bawa?
You paid her to do all that with me?
Baba, how does it matter who paid?
You had fun, right?
Bastard!
I thought it will happen this time because
she reminded you of naughty bhabhi.
What do you mean?
That Payal too?
Yeah.
Asshole!
Baba...
That food place chic too?
A little incentive is needed, Baba.
You ass, you stay there! I'll get you!
What are you doing, Baba?
You'll get hurt.
Baba!
Baba, this is wrong.
Baba, I'm a hard hitter.
I'm telling you. You'll get hurt.
Baba, don't you abuse me!
Stop choking me, dumbass...
Baba, I was worried about you
Baba has become a monster.
You betrayed me!
Your car...
What the fuck!
What non-sense is this!
Did Chanchal take it?
I doubted her since childhood.
You look like a thief! How can you doubt me?
I was watching your pansy fight.
Who took the Tiago when all of us are here?
RV isn't here too!
Oh shit!
Oh fuck!
Baba, I'm so sorry